Threshold

Many of us find holidays pose a special challenge to our sobriety.

I got to wondering which factors the good people at SR find the most challenging when it comes to staying sober on a holiday.

Carlotta

It brings back bad childhood memories. For me it is more about sinking into depression than about drinking.

Cathryn2001

For me, a holiday habit, as well as being in the company of those with similar holiday habits!

Threshold

I've successfully eliminated nearly ALL the external holiday stress...but I still have my internal issues that leave me feeling like a deflated balloon at times.

Memories of holidays with my family (ex and kids) and the dashed hopes of more of those with the kids and their partners and grand kids. That's hard for me to swallow.

I also have a lot of memories of normal drinks on the holidays that were pleasant, egg nog, or a toast, or some festive holiday drink...that are hard for me to connect to my crazy drunk wasted F'd up period. I get confused...when I'm with people who are partaking I feel like...yeah, that was always nice...but it's all the same ball of wax and I have to remember that. that one pleasant festive drink wasn't the problem, it was the half bottle of whiskey I downed once I got home, can't open that door again.

soberhawk

The darkness also. The day has become 10 hours shorter now. I did grow up further north the day up there has lost around 15 hours.

Dark when we went to school and dark when we came home – same now dark when I go to work and dark when I come home.

I am always more vulnerable this time of year – it is partly due to the darkness.

lovesymphony

More time around the family I grew up with, always makes me want a drink

gaffo

I hope I don't jinx myself but I don't miss drinking at the holidays. I took December off from drinking a couple of times because even in my drunken haze I recognized the connection between depression and alcohol but then I was white knuckling through the first thirty days. Now that I have been through two and a half holiday seasons I know that it is so much easier to deal with the sucky aspects of holidays without being drunk. It's another one of those surprise benefits of quitting.

TomSawyer

I shared this at a meeting recently, but the holidays were a pretty dark time for me last year. Pretty much the height of my alcoholism (pretty much right when I was realizing that recovery was gonna need to happen) as it was moving so fast I couldn't even catch up with it. Thanksgiving and Christmas I began drinking immediately upon waking up, shots of vodka in the dark - a dark place indeed. I am using that memory as my strength to get me through this year.

Mountainmanbob

Why are the holidays so challenging?

only in very early sobriety were the holidays challenging
yes, I guess I used to drink a lot on the holidays (and most other days)
but
haven't missed the drink in a very long time
with time we realize that for us (if a drunk such as myself)
sober days are the best days

I actually had some terrible drunk episodes on the holidays (missing nothing today)
one nice girlfriend years ago on Thanksgiving left me due to my drinking
who would miss that ??

MM

mfanch

So the two things I hate in life: winter and excessive materialism, coalesce into a perfect storm that requires me to grit my teeth. THAT is what is so bad about this time of year. Maybe I should move to Australia. lmao

deeker

To high expectations, we forget the reason for the season.

OnwardAndUpward

• Lots of free time on my hands
• Lots of free booze available
• Lots of events where there is drinking
• Stress
• Lonelyness
• Isolation due to weather and darkness
• Holiday "drinks" that are only available this time of year
• Urge to "let go" and enjoy the festivities

laurie6781

I had very BAD memories of all the holidays. Holidays, meant super huge FIGHTS among family members.

It was only through the folks in and around AA that I found out a few things.

I could make NEW MEMORIES!!! I had never thought of that. So I started, small at first, going to the Alkathons that one or another group was having. Going to 'open houses' at other sober folks homes.

I started having 'open houses' for those that did not have a place to go. I also started working at the nearest Rescue Mission on every holiday. It was great, I loved it.

As time went on, I started to realize that I was looking at Holidays differently! Wow what a concept!

So make your own 'new' memories. Share with friends and family that are NOT toxic to you.

BTW making 'new memories' is really really great and lots and lots of fun!!!!!


J M H O

Love and hugs,

flutter

For me I think it was more the parties that seemed to go on and on and on, otherwise the holidays were no different for me in regards to drinking. I haven't drank in a long time, and it's been years since I've associated the two (drinking/holidays). Just another round of excuses, in my book.

resolute50

I guess I'm in the minority.
At this time of the year it is always job related stress.
50 yo. in a bad economy and a 20+ work force reduced to 3 over the course of 10 years.
I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

PaperDolls

For me, finances.

Threshold

I live far away from the city and hadn't been in several weeks. Went grocery shopping yesterday and was slammed on all sides, on nearly every endcap and multitudes of special booze displays. WOW!

That, coupled with seasonal affective disorder, some financial issues, and memories of tasty holiday related beverages had a stronger effect on me than I anticipated. A stronger effect than i had experienced in a long time.

And the snow, that keeps piling up. That keeps me even more isolated than usual. That turns my usually beautiful inviting landscape into a stark forboding one. Anxiety.

I don't want to feel this way. I truly wish (I always do at this time of year) that I could just hibernate like a bear.