LadyBlue0527

To begin I wanted to state that my reply last night was to bi11fish's post. I was on the Iphone and didn't use the quote button.

With that being said I will now address the above.

We absolutely are being given "a message", one which our kids see on television, one which we see in magazine articles, in the newspaper, and also in books. Stressed? Have a drink! Happy? Have a drink! Celebrating something? Have a drink! Depressed? Have a drink! Someone died? Have a drink! Someone was born? Have a drink! This is regardless of whether a person is an alcoholic or not. The answer to every emotion is alcohol and that's what society tells us.

My point is not how irresponsible it is, it's the sale and the subliminal message that alcohol is a need for everything in life. I am more aware of that now because I don't drink. When drinking I completely bought into that theory, of course I did. As a healthy and sober person I think of all of the alcoholics in this society and think about their daily struggle. That struggle being met with the continuous message that you can't enjoy or live life without alcohol which is a big bs message. How many times have you heard a person say "What will I do? My life is going to be so BORING without alcohol!". Hmmm, where did they EVER get the idea that in order to have fun you MUST drink? Do you deny that I am correct in this statement?

It appears that to some, my original post was pointing to me doing boo boo face that I'm reading a book where people are drinking and I can't. This is so far from the truth. My underlying message is that I am observing just how much alcohol is brought up when simply reading a book and even stated that it's probably because I'm more cognizant of that fact now. It doesn't mean that I want to drink, it means I am making an observation, nothing more, nothing less.

For the record, I go to AA meetings. I take inventory, I question my own underlying motives with my thinking and I assure you, in this circumstance it has nothing to do with being bothered by the fact that people are drinking and I am not. To passively aggressively tell me that it's because I have a resentment irritates me due to the fact that the person can't proclaim to know me. This is MY sobriety, it belongs to ME. Just because they had resentments that others can drink I DO NOT. In the beginning I did, yes, absolutely. No longer, I am secure and happy about being sober and would not ever go back there again.

It was an observation, that's all that it was.

If you're going to call someone out or fold your arms across your puffed out chest when you make a statement try reading some of that other person's posts first. Sobriety is not a one size fits all path. Don't assume that when 10 people make the same statement that it all leads to one mutual underlying thought process.

Enuff said.

dwtbd

LB
I wasn't suggesting anything about your sobriety, my point was about there actually being some concerted effort by some to craft a message and that the rest are left with no alternative other than absorbing it. That idea conflates the works of individual authors and the pervasiveness of modern media in developed countries. The theme is the same but I do not think there is an agenda driving it. Culturally alcohol is seen as benign , probably because the majority of people do not see it as otherwise. That is all I meant.

Threshold

This is so funny because...I moved in with my BF to a very remote place that gets a good bit of snow with the real possibility that we will have periods of being snowed in during the winter (now). We have a few neighbors around, but it's a more isolated area that I've ever lived in.

I asked him, when he asked me to move here, wasn't he worried when winter came that I'd go all "Shining" on him!

both he and I are in recovery.

I'll definitely see if I can get this book.

foolsgold66

Hey Ladyblue, I noticed you were upset but decided not to mention it when I posted the first time, now that you've posted again, I'll say something.

Do you have a prior relationship of any sort with that poster that leads you to believe the post was really 'directed' to you personally? Do you have lots of experience with online interaction like forums in general?

Because when I read that post I assumed it was just a reply and also I assumed it was like many other forum posts in this forum and others, it addressed your topic but meandered a little into the persons own perspective, and wasn't 100% directed towards you personally, the original poster. I also assumed this was just a thread in an online forum and sometimes variations on said theme get posted that the original poster would rather not talk about.

I might have more to say, none of it negative necessarily, but it would depend on the answers to my questions.

Threshold

I'm a writer and artist.

Alcohol and tobacco are long standing, deeply rooted parts of many cultural and religious rituals.

So much in art and writing is symbolic, and those deeply understood/recognized symbols are "go to's" that are shortcuts to supply a LOT of information in a few words or a simple image. I think for that reason they turn up often as abbreviations, or a sort of shared joke. I hope this is making some sense.

Example...We all know in a cartoon movie that a couple sitting in bed smoking just had sex. Or a person with an empty martini glass or jug with XXX on it is going to say something stupid, or do something funny.

The drinking smoking PI, is a stereotype that we are all familiar with...etc. That stuff has become symbolic, and it turns up again and again in that manner.

For most people it's as "invisible" as the character stereotypes of the b*tchy cheerleader, the A-hole jock, the nerd with big glasses and a pocket protector, the jolly fat person...etc etc...and likewise it is JUST as insulting and on a deep level sort of dangerous to perpetuate those things as a given.

I don't happen to fit into any of those stereotypes I mentioned, but I've often wondered what the cheerleaders, jocks and nerds feel when that "character" is wheeled out again in yet another movie or book, and the entire plot is to make sure they get what's coming to them.

I've noticed symbols like that pop out at me when some life experience has opened my eyes to the fact that they are not as harmless as they seem. I've had obese friends and partners and those characters aren't so automatically funny to me anymore. I'm more sensitive to the reality of those people and the struggles and emotions they experience.

A few months back on SR someone mentioned ice cream binges after getting sober, and wondered if it was a problem. Many people replied that no, heck, ice cream was NOTHING compared to booze, that they were blowing it way out of proportion etc etc...

For someone who's had a life's experience of eating disorders which have brought me closer to death that booze ever did...it's not laughing matter OR exaggeration.

Many psychologists and psychiatrist believe eating disorders have a lower recovery success rate than drugs or alcohol. But even many people with substance abuse issues don't understand the seriousness of eating disorders, or the permanent damage they do to the body.

I think these things are all related. We "know" that we are supposed to get the joke, reference, implication of someone pouring someone a stiff drink, passing the joint, "don't worry, it happens to every man", or gorging on chocolates. But when those things have hit home...what used to be just a symbol now has so many more implications.

fini

DoggoneCarl,
thanks for that link to the Cather passage; i have read several of her books by now.

the excerpt you quoted reminded me of Johnny Nolan from "A Tree grows in Brooklyn", and that particular book managed to portray a really sympathetic drunk to me. because when he was there, he was really THERE. he could hear and see his kid.
my parents, though not alcoholics, couldn't see me whatsoever.
i liked that book on many levels; most everything rang true in it, and the voice is deceptively simple in relating the devastation.