Kissimee54

I am dumbfounded that I stayed so long in my addiction. I was in a cloud even when I was sober for months. The consequences were enormous. I really screwed my life up and everyone who came in contact with me. I am trying to forgive myself for being an alcoholic. It's difficult at this late stage of the game. I'm not a spring chicken. Something feels different and I believe the desire to drink has been lifted. I feel like something has intervened in my life. How do I go on and give back to my life and all the other lives I've f***ed up? I am meditating on that one.

Thepatman

What is done is done friend. Self forgiveness is the most important things I think.

Mountainmanbob

the very best thing that we can do today is stay sober
most all of these other issues do seem to correct themselves with time
I also this time around sobered up at a latter age in life - 57
got 6 years now and most all is great

the most insane thought that I could entertain today would be
that I could take a drink with impunity

that is the #1 thing in which I need to remember

Mountainman

BackToSquareOne

Accepting the things we can not change, much easier said than done. None of us can change the past, the memories will always be there but we don't have to dwell on them. This was perhaps one of the hardest things I had to deal with in getting sober after over 3 decades of drinking.

I came to realize it's just the mind doing what minds do, thoughts tend to go wherever they want. The irony is that if we try to block out the thoughts we'll think about them even more. What I do when I have those kind of thoughts is recognize them, (for instance I'll say to myself, "Ah, going back to the past again, been there done that, nothing new there"). I'll then let the thoughts go and the mind can move on to whatever.

There does seem to be a certain power in acknowledging the thoughts and not fighting them, hard to really explain but it helped me. Keeping yourself occupied with things in the present also helps keep you out of the past. There are many ways to tackle this problem, it is a battle we can all win.

thisisme

Don't look back, you are not going that way.

NoJimmy

I suppose it's all relative. I quit for 5 years at 25, then drank like a fool for the last 16+ years. I just turned 48 and I am a bit angry and disappointed in myself for the time I wasted, and consider where I'd be today had I not started again. That's done and over, I only have today and beyond. My Dad died from drinking at 59, rather than be upset about what I've lost, I can be thankful I have the choice today to not follow in his footsteps. We can all find someone who has it better or worse, that doesn't really matter. We only have what we have, I plan to make it count.

oak

I don't have great answers but I can relate to regretting things. I do think regret can be a phase in the grieving process. Sometimes, when I let myself truly feel the regret, I can move on more easily than if I am trying not to feel it. But maybe that is different for everyone.

Good luck! And congrats on sobriety!

KateL

You mustn't feel guilty. When we drink it is not really us (contrary to popular Belief.) I tried to move on and not look back too much. If my experience is anything to go by, People will just be glad to have the real you again. If not, it is possible to forge new friendships, it's not as hard as you may think. I was a drunk for 25 years and am no spring chicken either. It's never too late.

KyrieEleison

How do you do it?

One day at a time.

EndGameNYC

If despair is defined by the difference between how things are and how they might have been, then many of us have been on intimate terms with a strong sense of regret and an enduring hopelessness. For most of us, there was only one way out.

Dee74

We can't change a second of the past - but we can do a lot with today
Make your todays count from now on Kissimee54

D

jdooner

All your experiences have made you who you are. This package is you. You are sober, so put it to use. Perhaps your meant to help someone who will help someone who will save the World. Doing the next right thing works this way. Focus on today, now it's all you have.