bigsombrero

Hi folks, happy Thanksgiving.

I am "home for the holidays", so to speak - staying at my mother's place and she is hosting the big Thanksgiving dinner. There is a decent amount of drinking at my family's holiday celebrations, due to the recent additions of a few younger folks who've married into the family. My sister just had a baby yesterday, and I was at the airport all afternoon after getting off work. Combine that with the holiday stress and I'm feeling a little burnt out.

Luckily, since my sister and her husband are still at the hospital with the newborn, I've been tasked to babysit their older child (she's not yet 2) for the afternoon. So instead of being a part of the crazy drinking and large crowd, I am here with a youngster (she's napping) in a large, quiet house for the day.

I think I will stop by my mother's place after the dinner is over, but I'm really not interested in bringing my niece over and dealing with the large crowd, the alcohol, the loud atmosphere and the whole 9 yards. I told my mother I'd try to stop over later, but I think I prefer to be here.

Why throw myself into a situation that I don't want to be a part of?

It's okay to "lie low", right?

Taking5

Ab-so-lute-ly it is.

EndGameNYC

Hey sombrero.

Sure...It's okay to lie low, high, sideways and perpendicular. I'm hoping that by "feeling burnt" this doesn't mean you're feeling down, though that's okay too.

Years ago, I had a couple of sober holidays when I spent the day by myself. This year I'm up in New Hampshire with my sister, visiting our brother and his lovely family.

They've got a nice place on the ocean, so the view is sublime, and the company is great. There's some drinking, but it's not an all-day thing, and no one here ever gets drunk. They all know about me and are very supportive of my recovery. It never comes up in conversation unless I or one of them jokes about it, which I also take as supportive.

Lie low if you need to, and bear in mind all the hard work that went into getting to where you are today.

You're a great asset on SR, sombrero, and I thank you for your contributions.

bigsombrero

Thanks guys.

EndGame - yeah, I think that I could probably use a few of those "quiet holidays" for the next couple of rounds. Good idea. I guess I've just had trouble getting up the courage to say "not this time". My family is great, but all the pomp-and-circumstance honestly feels a bit overwhelming to me these days. In the past, a few drinks would always put me at ease and I'd be the life of the party. There are several factors that just don't make these gatherings ideal for me anymore.

I have been feeling really strong, lately. But today I feel weak. I feel like just being here with my niece is enough for me. I wish I could take on the bigger party, but it just seems too large to tackle right now. And I hate that I'm "afraid" of the whole damn thing. I think that's what I meant by "burnt".

I appreciate the support.

Olive1

Hi bigsombrero,
I skipped all of the holidays the first year I was sober. I had only been sober six months at the time and it seemed best to just stay home and lay low.

sunrise1

It's absolutely OK to "lie low" for anything you don't feel up to doing. Especially holidays. As if it's not hard enough to resist drinking to begin with, the holidays are always filled with extra things to do, overblown expectations, relatives we may or may not get along with... all these things make it even harder to keep the necessary perspective.

My husband's hours have flipped for some reason, so I've been spending days (including today) alone. I thought to myself, "what the heck?" I've never been noted for anything in the kitchen other than washing dishes but here I am baking cupcakes. We'll see how they turn out... and it's something different. Even if they turn out terribly I still got to lick the spoon.

It's stuff like this that keeps me sane.

Renarde

More than ok! Good idea!

foolsgold66

Nothing wrong with lying low unless you never get up.

soberclover

I think that it is wonderful that you instinctively know what you need to do to take care of yourself

Dee74

No Thanksgiving here of course but I laid low my first Xmas - still glad I did Big S.

D

Sudz No More

I was glad to avoid anything myself so right back at ya. Luckily, I don't get surrounded by a lot of beer anyway. My wife has to work every year now being in retail and the damn merchandisers with their greedy fingers so I am alone. I made her a nice lunch and I figure to check out the deals at the store since it doesn't affect my night anyway.

My Mom will come on Sunday and she doesn't drink much and won't have anything with me around. My wife is a Teetotaler and my Sister and Brother only drink a glass of wine. No biggie as I hate wine.

Glad you made it through the day without any major problems.

Zebra1275

If laying low helped keep you sober than it was a good move.

PhaseTwo

Lot of drinking going on around me today with a lot of the family visiting me in Chicago. Kinda wish I could lay low instead. I'm not really attempting to be sociable just watching football.

bigsombrero

Thanks again - I found a nice happy medium and ended up having my share of private time, while also getting in some socializing.

I took my niece over to the party (as the dinner was winding down) and we spent some time with the family. It was perfect. I was able to drive my 98 year-old grandmother home to her apartment after the dinner as well and we had a nice chat. Then I returned just in time for pumpkin pie, and then took my niece back to meet her new baby brother upon his first day home from the hospital. It was nice to see family, but also nice not to be overwhelmed. I feel like everything went very well, it was a nice balance today.

Thanks again for the kind words folks, I appreciate this board being "open 24/7" even on holidays and weekends LOL. My sincere thanks.

MIRecovery

It is fine in my book and I am doing more or less the the same thing. Big family deal tonight with lots of drinking. Showed up just in time for a great dinner and got the heck out out when dinner was done. Sitting here watching a cheesey movie by myself happier than a sober clam

LadyBlue0527

When you lay low you have a better chance of dodging the bullets

MIRecovery

Shots and I do not get along both figuratively and literally