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wondering about AA

Old 11-27-2013, 06:01 AM
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wondering about AA

Hi all! Today is day 5 of sobriety for me and I am feeling really good. I have struggled with drinking for about 20 years now. Always able to "control" it somewhat. But when I lose control . . . wow . . . I am another person, and I don't remember a thing. This website has been a blessing, but I am thinking that I would like to speak some people face to face who are facing the same thing. What are everyone's thoughts about Alcoholics Anonymous? I live in a really small town, and I have found that there are meetings here once a week, but I am kind of afraid to go, not knowing who will be there, and who might see me! Still worried about appearances I guess. If I can get past that, I would just genuinely like to know what to expect from someone who has been there. So please, let me know.

I don't want to do this on my own. I haven't made any promises to anyone in my family about my drinking, because they have come up empty in the past. This time, I figure I will SHOW everyone, not TELL everyone, but I need someone to be accountable to. Sorry this is so longwinded! Any thoughts?? I would greatly appreciate it!!
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:13 AM
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I don't go much anymore but I think it's a great way to find FTF support. Good luck!
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:24 AM
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Hello. I think going to A.A. and working the steps is a great way to learn to live soberly and to help others. I think you should go. I remember I was scared as hell my first time but I came away with a profound sense of hope that things would be different now... and they were! If your meeting is a discussion meeting, don't be worried about speaking, you can just introduce yourself and then say "I'm just hear to listen tonight, I pass." If it is a lead meeting (someone gets up and tells their story), just sit back and listen and stay for the comments afterwards. You will not regret going and you are not alone. Good Luck! P.S. Don't be worried about who will be there, they are there because they are just like you!
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:44 AM
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Going to that first meeting doesn't mean you have to commit to anything. Go, sit at the back, wear your shades if you wish and just listen. I think you'll find that those who really worked the steps have he sort of inner serenity that we are all seeking.

AA may jot work for everyone, but it DOES work for many. The worst thing that happens is you go, decide it's not for you and seek alternative support.
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Old 11-27-2013, 06:53 AM
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i'm 2 months sober with AA - it is the only thing that has helped me put the bottle down for good.

i was terrified before my first meeting, but i wouldn't be without it now. i never thought i could quit and the thought horrified me. now i have accepted that the party is over i can at last feel some hope for the future.

i am not religious at all, and there is no aspect of the program that has felt as if religion was being forced upon me (i know some people worry about this).

i've just done the main share (eek!) at a lunchtime meeting and i was able to say, with complete conviction, that AA is giving me my life back, one day at a time.

try it - you might like it!!

best of luck.
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Old 11-27-2013, 07:01 AM
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I am in it there are things I like and don't. The most important part is to get a sponsor in the early days. I just posted my 3 month journey in New comers and AA is a big part.
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Old 11-27-2013, 07:16 AM
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AA is wonderful and has keep me sober for a few 24 hrs
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Old 11-27-2013, 07:56 AM
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me too
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Old 11-27-2013, 08:51 AM
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Thanks to all of you for your replies. Very helpful. Going to find out meeting info . . . When and where and let you know how it goes!
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:03 AM
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Hi newme2day.

Yeah, I too was "still worried about appearances" when I went to my first AA meeting many years ago. What if I see someone I know? What will people think of me? What if they think I'm crazy?

Meanwhile, during my years of drinking before that first meeting, I was so worried about appearances, that waking up on my neighbor's lawn half-naked, making a fool of my drunken self at work, making myself the main event at weddings (and not in a good way), being asked to leave a few bars...and to never come back, being taken to the ER on multiple occasions due to my passing out in public while detoxing a few hours after binging, vomiting and falling down in the street, and generally making a fool of myself were all okay with me.

The worst thing that can happen is that you'll hearing something that might save your life.
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by newme2day View Post
Hi all! Today is day 5 of sobriety for me and I am feeling really good. I have struggled with drinking for about 20 years now. Always able to "control" it somewhat. But when I lose control . . . wow . . . I am another person, and I don't remember a thing. This website has been a blessing, but I am thinking that I would like to speak some people face to face who are facing the same thing. What are everyone's thoughts about Alcoholics Anonymous? I live in a really small town, and I have found that there are meetings here once a week, but I am kind of afraid to go, not knowing who will be there, and who might see me! Still worried about appearances I guess. If I can get past that, I would just genuinely like to know what to expect from someone who has been there. So please, let me know.

I don't want to do this on my own. I haven't made any promises to anyone in my family about my drinking, because they have come up empty in the past. This time, I figure I will SHOW everyone, not TELL everyone, but I need someone to be accountable to. Sorry this is so longwinded! Any thoughts?? I would greatly appreciate it!!


what to expect...hhhmmm... id say don't expect anything. that way youll be better off.
walking into that 1st meeting, when I was finally ready, was the hardest thing I ever did. I was at the point of desperation: the pain of getting drunk had exceeded the pain of reality and it was get help or kill myself. I didn't care who saw me fall off a barstoll and I didn't care who saw me getting help, which im sure that all them folks that saw me fall off a barsoll could very well be glad I finally got help.
who was there were [people that had been in my shoes. people that had a solution and were more than happy to help me with the solution.
I found my home and my family.
8+ years of many,many meetings, meeting thousands of alcoholics and there are only 2 that I know that I drank with.
the only one I have to be accountable to is myself. my family surely didn't believe a dam thing when I said I was getting help. I had to earn their trust and respct by my actions.
was dowen at my nieces 2 years ago refinishing the floors on her new house. at the end of the day, about 10 or so of my family and a few of my nieces friends were sittin out back relaxin. my neice and sister started bringin up thing I did while drunk. it was awesome to be able to laugh with them knowing that I was a sick man back then.
then my neice said,"uncle tom, im very glad your sober now."
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:14 AM
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Hi Newme
Hope that you get something out of your first meeting. I attend regularly and it helps so much. Totally get the appearances thing...
Two things used to worry me. Being seen by someone i knew at a meeting, and actually being caught praying!!!
This is a man that would fall down drunk and vomiting in the middle of the day in the town of his birth. On shopping day!
Like they say, 'everybody then knew the monkey but the monkey knew nobody'. I was that sick monkey.
Very best wishes on your journey.
G
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Old 11-27-2013, 09:30 AM
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Give it a try, it doesn't mean you have to commit to it. Just see if it works for you and if you find it helpful - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I really like AA and the meetings. As for who you see there - if you meet someone you know there is absolutely no shame in it. As, simply, they are there for the same reason as you! t have met people i knew from 'outside' within the rooms of AA, and they are always just happy to see you and supportive.

Stay strong and keep posting! I wish you well
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Old 11-28-2013, 02:32 AM
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Originally Posted by newme2day View Post
Hi all! Today is day 5 of sobriety for me and I am feeling really good.
Congrats on five days!


Originally Posted by newme2day View Post
I have struggled with drinking for about 20 years now. Always able to "control" it somewhat. But when I lose control . . . wow . . . I am another person, and I don't remember a thing.
I understand. Been there for 20 plus years myself.

Originally Posted by newme2day View Post
What are everyone's thoughts about Alcoholics Anonymous? I live in a really small town, and I have found that there are meetings here once a week, but I am kind of afraid to go, not knowing who will be there, and who might see me! Still worried about appearances I guess. If I can get past that, I would just genuinely like to know what to expect from someone who has been there. So please, let me know.
Are you an alcoholic?

I am an alcoholic. I go to AA. I am now eight months sober. The program works if you work it. It only takes some willingness to start. It sounds like you have that.

Originally Posted by newme2day View Post
I don't want to do this on my own. I haven't made any promises to anyone in my family about my drinking, because they have come up empty in the past. This time, I figure I will SHOW everyone, not TELL everyone, but I need someone to be accountable to.
You do not have to do this alone. I needed help too. I walked into the rooms of AA and with the little willingness I had, I accepted their help.

AA is not going to make you accountable. It is still up to you to attend the meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps. What they can and will do is help you and guide you. They will support you. They will listen to your story, they will hold you up and love you because they have been there.

We share our experience strength and hope. They will not tell you what to do, well some might, but they will tell you what they did. That is the point of AA. Not to run around pointing fingers but to share how we got sober and remained sober.

You do not need to tell anyone. That is sort of the point of being anonymous. If you run into someone you know, so be it. They are there for the same reason you are. Walking in the door does not carry any commitment nor judgement. Just take the little bit of willingness and walk in.

If you do not want to go alone, then call the AA hotline and they can get you in touch with a person in your area. They can take you to a meeting. I did that and I am so glad I did. It only took that first step to get me started on my journey to sobriety.

Take it easy and take it one day at a time.
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Old 11-28-2013, 03:12 AM
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Congratulations on your sober time.

Good news that you are checking the meeting out.I put off going to AA for a long time,my drinking got worse.

I look forward to hearing how you get on.
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Old 11-28-2013, 04:58 AM
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Hi newme2day and

AA was exactly what I needed so that I could be with like people and to build my new sober network. I'm 6 months sober now and AA gave me many of the tools I needed to stay sober. I use that and this board to maintain.

Think about this statement:

I live in a really small town, and I have found that there are meetings here once a week, but I am kind of afraid to go, not knowing who will be there, and who might see me! Still worried about appearances I guess.
I used to visit some of the resale shops around here when I was low on funds and once went with a friend. We were walking through and I saw someone I knew from school and I ducked around a corner. My friend looked at me funny and asked "what are you doing?" I said " I just saw X from school! I don't want her to see me here". She shook her head and said "SHE is HERE". The thought never even crossed my mind.

Same thing with an AA meeting.
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Old 11-28-2013, 05:03 AM
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LadyBlue0527 I love that story.
Our perception of ourself annd the world around us is so outta whack.
It took me along time to get the program. But now 2.5 yrs in i know I needed AA andd the dialy support.
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Old 11-28-2013, 05:21 AM
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I would much rather be known for a person that has a problem and is doing something about it then a person who has a problem and its doing nothing about it
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Old 11-28-2013, 06:41 AM
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Welcome newme2day and congrats on 5 days. I know how rough those first days can be!

I have a little over 6 months sober and I owe that all to the tools I was given in the rooms of AA. Just like GracieLou said, all you need is willingness and you will get all the guidance you need. As far as being in a small town, I live in a medium sized town but I grew up here. So at 43, I generally run into people wherever I go. I did meet some people in AA I knew from my childhood, teens and years ago, but like someone else said they were there for the same reason I was. I know some people will go to the next city to attend meetings and that makes them more comfortable.

I wish you much success on your journey!
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Old 11-28-2013, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by whiskeyman View Post
LadyBlue0527 I love that story. Our perception of ourself annd the world around us is so outta whack. It took me along time to get the program. But now 2.5 yrs in i know I needed AA andd the dialy support.
There's many perceptions we find are so false aren't there? Our concern over people's reaction to us not drinking, not to say that there aren't some who seem concerned ( for themselves). How much people pay attention to how much we drink at events. Finally, a person who is at an AA meeting seeing us at an AA meeting. It's uncanny how we see things when our thoughts ate run by alcohol.
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