I Slipped Again
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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I Slipped Again
So Friday night came around and like last Friday I drank again. I went out with my buddies with no intentions of drinking, but alcohol simply beat me. Not much to say, just wanted to vent a little.
SR does really help me stay sober and if it wasn't for this site I'm not sure I'd be able to win the battle.
2 slips since September 10th and I feel I've learned from both. I know for the time being I can't be around drinking situations because I'm too tempted. I'll go in with no intentions of drinking and be broken by the temptation. I just gotta be smarter about it and avoid those situations for awhile.
Thanks for all the help you've given me since I joined SR.
SR does really help me stay sober and if it wasn't for this site I'm not sure I'd be able to win the battle.
2 slips since September 10th and I feel I've learned from both. I know for the time being I can't be around drinking situations because I'm too tempted. I'll go in with no intentions of drinking and be broken by the temptation. I just gotta be smarter about it and avoid those situations for awhile.
Thanks for all the help you've given me since I joined SR.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Yeah I tried for years to live my life with minimal changes, just not drinking.
I was doomed to failure because drinking was my life and that of my drinking buddies.
D
I was doomed to failure because drinking was my life and that of my drinking buddies.
D
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
I am lucky it's not like I just have "drinking friends", the people I drink with are my true friends, they can just handle alcohol like most 21 year old's. One of them actually desperately tried to stop me from drinking, but I just couldn't fight the urges.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Dee74
Yeah it would have been much harder for me to get sober in my 20s...hopefully you're smarter and more mature than I was, BSF 
D
D
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 561
Sorry to hear that BSF but as you said you've learnt from it. I first tried to get sober at 23 but from trying to go out and live a social life in drinking situations sober I couldn't stay sober. My alcoholism progressed very fast and before I knew it all my drinking was done alone and in secret. I did rehab and got sober for a good while but became complacent, and as you know am early days again, this is the beginning of week two.
It is hard to get sober anytime but being young has its own challenges. I really hope you do learn from this. I used to learn my lessons temporarily until everything was going good again then i would forget. People told me i was lucky to have discovered i was an alcoholic so young and it used to annoy me, i never used to understand. I think i am beginning to, we are lucky in that we have the knowledge and the opportunity to do something about it and live up to our full potential from a young age. Its a big ask. But i have friends who got and stayed sober as early as 19. I am 27 now and I have to tell you BSF it never got better, it got unbelievably worse. Don't do what i did and mess about with this for years !
You sound like you know what you need to do and that is stop. Have you tried AA or a similar support group?
I am glad you are back so quickly. Keep fighting the good fight
It is hard to get sober anytime but being young has its own challenges. I really hope you do learn from this. I used to learn my lessons temporarily until everything was going good again then i would forget. People told me i was lucky to have discovered i was an alcoholic so young and it used to annoy me, i never used to understand. I think i am beginning to, we are lucky in that we have the knowledge and the opportunity to do something about it and live up to our full potential from a young age. Its a big ask. But i have friends who got and stayed sober as early as 19. I am 27 now and I have to tell you BSF it never got better, it got unbelievably worse. Don't do what i did and mess about with this for years !
You sound like you know what you need to do and that is stop. Have you tried AA or a similar support group?
I am glad you are back so quickly. Keep fighting the good fight
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: My Toes In The Sand in Central PA
Posts: 73
Glad to hear you are back ... I still fight the urge a lot lately
a lot of it is I work with people who party every weekend and then come into work and rave about it, what they did while out. I try to keep upper hand ....
a lot of it is I work with people who party every weekend and then come into work and rave about it, what they did while out. I try to keep upper hand ....
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Try18
Sorry to hear that BSF but as you said you've learnt from it. I first tried to get sober at 23 but from trying to go out and live a social life in drinking situations sober I couldn't stay sober. My alcoholism progressed very fast and before I knew it all my drinking was done alone and in secret. I did rehab and got sober for a good while but became complacent, and as you know am early days again, this is the beginning of week two.
It is hard to get sober anytime but being young has its own challenges. I really hope you do learn from this. I used to learn my lessons temporarily until everything was going good again then i would forget. People told me i was lucky to have discovered i was an alcoholic so young and it used to annoy me, i never used to understand. I think i am beginning to, we are lucky in that we have the knowledge and the opportunity to do something about it and live up to our full potential from a young age. Its a big ask. But i have friends who got and stayed sober as early as 19. I am 27 now and I have to tell you BSF it never got better, it got unbelievably worse. Don't do what i did and mess about with this for years !
You sound like you know what you need to do and that is stop. Have you tried AA or a similar support group?
I am glad you are back so quickly. Keep fighting the good fight
It is hard to get sober anytime but being young has its own challenges. I really hope you do learn from this. I used to learn my lessons temporarily until everything was going good again then i would forget. People told me i was lucky to have discovered i was an alcoholic so young and it used to annoy me, i never used to understand. I think i am beginning to, we are lucky in that we have the knowledge and the opportunity to do something about it and live up to our full potential from a young age. Its a big ask. But i have friends who got and stayed sober as early as 19. I am 27 now and I have to tell you BSF it never got better, it got unbelievably worse. Don't do what i did and mess about with this for years !
You sound like you know what you need to do and that is stop. Have you tried AA or a similar support group?
I am glad you are back so quickly. Keep fighting the good fight
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Tabbj
Glad to hear you are back ... I still fight the urge a lot lately
a lot of it is I work with people who party every weekend and then come into work and rave about it, what they did while out. I try to keep upper hand ....
a lot of it is I work with people who party every weekend and then come into work and rave about it, what they did while out. I try to keep upper hand ....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: My Toes In The Sand in Central PA
Posts: 73
I agree with that being an alcoholic does not give us an excuse to act alcoholically ..
stay true to yourself, if your friends can not be with you when you're sober have they been your true friends ... it is great to be able to go to bars and not drink and have a good time. I for one can not do that, I also have a hard time at family picnics because there is always drink there. just keep in mind " SOBER " living is better for us. off to work will check back later to day , have a good one
stay true to yourself, if your friends can not be with you when you're sober have they been your true friends ... it is great to be able to go to bars and not drink and have a good time. I for one can not do that, I also have a hard time at family picnics because there is always drink there. just keep in mind " SOBER " living is better for us. off to work will check back later to day , have a good one
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Boston, I think you've figured out what's going on, for now, just have to not put yourself in those situations.
In early sobriety many of us don't have enough sober experience, comfort with sobriety, and sober living skills to "just say no" and we need to keep ourselves out of those situations.
With sober time, many of us find that those situations become less tempting. I wouldn't say that it's wise for most of us to hang out at bars etc...but most of us get to a place where whether or not we drink is a choice. We are no longer compelled or helpless feeling when it comes to booze. Sometimes I'm tempted, but I can say "seriously? you know that will take you do the bad place" and then go on without it being much of an issue.
I still don't go to parties, events where booze is the main focus. They just aren't fun any more. Time away from the party lifestyle helped me gain a saner perspective on it.
You sound like you are on the right track!
In early sobriety many of us don't have enough sober experience, comfort with sobriety, and sober living skills to "just say no" and we need to keep ourselves out of those situations.
With sober time, many of us find that those situations become less tempting. I wouldn't say that it's wise for most of us to hang out at bars etc...but most of us get to a place where whether or not we drink is a choice. We are no longer compelled or helpless feeling when it comes to booze. Sometimes I'm tempted, but I can say "seriously? you know that will take you do the bad place" and then go on without it being much of an issue.
I still don't go to parties, events where booze is the main focus. They just aren't fun any more. Time away from the party lifestyle helped me gain a saner perspective on it.
You sound like you are on the right track!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by Threshold
Boston, I think you've figured out what's going on, for now, just have to not put yourself in those situations.
In early sobriety many of us don't have enough sober experience, comfort with sobriety, and sober living skills to "just say no" and we need to keep ourselves out of those situations.
With sober time, many of us find that those situations become less tempting. I wouldn't say that it's wise for most of us to hang out at bars etc...but most of us get to a place where whether or not we drink is a choice. We are no longer compelled or helpless feeling when it comes to booze. Sometimes I'm tempted, but I can say "seriously? you know that will take you do the bad place" and then go on without it being much of an issue.
I still don't go to parties, events where booze is the main focus. They just aren't fun any more. Time away from the party lifestyle helped me gain a saner perspective on it.
You sound like you are on the right track!
In early sobriety many of us don't have enough sober experience, comfort with sobriety, and sober living skills to "just say no" and we need to keep ourselves out of those situations.
With sober time, many of us find that those situations become less tempting. I wouldn't say that it's wise for most of us to hang out at bars etc...but most of us get to a place where whether or not we drink is a choice. We are no longer compelled or helpless feeling when it comes to booze. Sometimes I'm tempted, but I can say "seriously? you know that will take you do the bad place" and then go on without it being much of an issue.
I still don't go to parties, events where booze is the main focus. They just aren't fun any more. Time away from the party lifestyle helped me gain a saner perspective on it.
You sound like you are on the right track!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston
Posts: 304
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
One of them actually desperately tried to stop me from drinking, but I just couldn't fight the urges.
It's hard to admit that we have a problem, I think, especially when we are young and have a whole life of adventure and everything ahead of us. But you are going out to bars on weekends and you have slipped both weekends, and you are torn because you want to be a non-drinker to treat your alcoholism but you are trying not to make too many life changes to make it happen. Of course you are! Change is hard. Honestly.
My favorite thing to do while I was drinking (a mere 26 days ago) was to go to dinner with my friends every night. WE would down a bottle of wine each, yak yak yak away and have a great time, eat great food, and I would go home and feel happy that I spent good quality time. Well, I can't do that any more and the prospect of not having my friends to dine with opened up all sorts of fears I have about loneliness and being left behind and blah blah blah - I'll save it for therapy.
What I did that helps a lot is 1) explain to my friends that I can't drink any more so I won't be joining them out, 2) text with them constantly while they are out without me.
It sounds stupid, but it works for me in my early sobriety, because I still feel connected to them don't feel like I am missing out on too much as long as we are still yak yak yakking. While they are out slowly getting buzzed/drunk - we have three/four way text conversations.
You have to do what you have to do to stay sober Boston.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
When I came to AA I was told I should change my play things and play mates. Nobody ever told me I had to lose my friends. That kind of took care of itself. I started going to meetings every day because I didn't want to drink any more, so the places I hung out changed from bars and parties to meetings. In the process I made friends at meetings and started hanging out with them before, during and after meetings. A lot of the people I thought were my friends kind of went by the wayside. There choice not mine. My real friends kept in touch and supported me in my effort to not drink.
When I think back, I remember some good times and really good friends who I miss even now, but most of them made their choice to continue drinking and eventually we had nothing in common. My best drinking buddy lived in Hawaii. His birthday was on December 7th which is ironic because that was the day the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and he was married to a Japanese woman. All he talked about was getting drunk on his birthday so the conversation was pretty short. He's dead now but I still remember the good times we had when we both drank. Couldn't separate us. I just kind of went on blind faith for a long time believing what my AA friends were telling me, that if I stayed sober things would get better. Today I'm glad I stuck with the program. Young people do get sober and stay sober if they want to. An old friend of mine told me once that the best gift an alcoholic can ever receive is the DESIRE to stop drinking. If you have that gift of desire, open it up and see what's in it for you. You'll be glad you did.
When I think back, I remember some good times and really good friends who I miss even now, but most of them made their choice to continue drinking and eventually we had nothing in common. My best drinking buddy lived in Hawaii. His birthday was on December 7th which is ironic because that was the day the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and he was married to a Japanese woman. All he talked about was getting drunk on his birthday so the conversation was pretty short. He's dead now but I still remember the good times we had when we both drank. Couldn't separate us. I just kind of went on blind faith for a long time believing what my AA friends were telling me, that if I stayed sober things would get better. Today I'm glad I stuck with the program. Young people do get sober and stay sober if they want to. An old friend of mine told me once that the best gift an alcoholic can ever receive is the DESIRE to stop drinking. If you have that gift of desire, open it up and see what's in it for you. You'll be glad you did.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Western ny
Posts: 388
Boston keep trying. I would stay away from drinking situations for a couple months. I had to isolate myself for 2 or 3 months until I was confident I could make a rational decision around alcohol. It is worth it to take this time away if you really want to be done with this.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I'm glad you're back. For me, I had to get new friends... I am still friends with my drinking buddies but at a distance. I finally realized that we all drank the way we did and that was all we knew how to do together. We all had committed various times to cutting back or doing challenges to quit (all said in earnestness while cracking open a another wine).
I wouldn't hang with them until you feel you have good sober time under you, you're not being fair to yourself.
I wouldn't hang with them until you feel you have good sober time under you, you're not being fair to yourself.
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