Gottalife

I got sober at 22, but not because I was smarter, in fact I was probably the stupidest person ever to come to AA. The fact is I was at the end of my drinking, sobriety or death were my only options, and sobriety did not look at all attractive. According to my doctor I would not live to see 23 so getting sober "later" was not a realistic prospect.

I realised I had full blown adult alcoholism, not young adult alcoholism, I went to AA as the last resort, not believing it would work, and did what the other full blown adult alcoholics did. And the drinking stopped, almost as a by-product of my new way of life.

BSF, your idea of living a life trying not to do something doesn't seem to work as well as the idea of living a different life. Iv'e said this to you before, maybe it's time to try something different.

Bostonsportsfan

Well Thanksgiving happened to be another slip up.

It was my first holiday since turning 21 and one of my uncles noticed that and offered me a drink. I didn't want to take it, but didn't want to explain my situations, and I didn't want to say no because I was afraid he would ask why or I don't know. I have decided to avoid all drinking situations for awhile, but I can't just avoid Thanksgiving. Didn't think it would be a problem, but it ended up being one.

I understand the problem, it's being around drinking. I'm too early into sobriety to be around it. I have all intentions of avoiding those situations and I should be okay. Thanksgiving just surprised me and I don't plan to make the same mistake during Christmas...I'll know it's coming.

anyistoomuch

Boston, it sounds like you understand a lot of why you are slipping. keep telling yourself that it's ok to say no to a drink- no matter who is handing it to you. your wellbeing has to come before what other people may think- even if it is family. we have to do what we have to do to get sober. don't give up.

BoSox

Who cares what other people think of you, if you feel like crap? I am young and in Boston, and struggling with sobriety myself if u need any support.

KateL

Just stuff yourself with Christmas dinner and say you're too full up for drinks

Bostonsportsfan

Thanks, I actually live an hour and a half away though in southern Maine.

Bostonsportsfan

I'll know what's coming for Christmas. I was just thrown off guard. The drink was made for me and then offered. It was more like "take this drink I made you" over actually asking if I wanted it.

EndGameNYC

Hi BSF.

Sorry to hear that you're still struggling with "To drink, or not to drink."

I've been in your corner since the start, and there I will remain. A pattern is emerging that demonstrates your sobriety is conditional. First it was a night out with friends, when I'm certain you weren't "thrown off guard." You chose to drink. Then a holiday celebration, where there is pretty much always booze, something you likely knew. I can't imagine how this was a surprise for you, but I'm not here to criticize; I'm here to help you through this process..

The idea that you were commanded to take the drink from your uncle, and that you had no other choice but to accept and drink it, is alcoholic thinking...you chose to place yourself in danger rather than simply decline the drink. Or just take the drink, hold it for a couple of minutes, and then place it down somewhere without sipping it.

When I relapsed, I drank because I wanted to drink. The universe didn't play a part in conspiring against my sobriety. And if I drink again, it will be because I want to drink.

Taking ownership of our behaviors plays a huge role in sobriety, and is also an important developmental milestone. And until we do so, we'll repeatedly find ourselves a victim of people, places and things.

Bostonsportsfan

I don't blame anyone else for me drinking. Holidays are actually usually alcohol free except for my mom, so I was caught off guard, but I could of said no. The other 2 times I caved to the temptation.