Should I quit my job to get sober
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
I cant say anything about quitting job, but I will comment on this:
"So I have been a recovering alcoholic for a few years now. I've relapsed more times than there are numerals."
recovery doesn't have more relapses than there are numerals.
active alcoholism does.
"So I have been a recovering alcoholic for a few years now. I've relapsed more times than there are numerals."
recovery doesn't have more relapses than there are numerals.
active alcoholism does.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
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Rock, if you've already made it passed withdrawals why not try outpatient counseling?
I had a psychologist in the beginning and it really helped me to feel accountable for my actions. Once I got passed 6 months it really started to get easier. You just have to find a reason to hold on to sobriety those first couple months. Outpatient once a week for starters and you will still be able to work.
I had a psychologist in the beginning and it really helped me to feel accountable for my actions. Once I got passed 6 months it really started to get easier. You just have to find a reason to hold on to sobriety those first couple months. Outpatient once a week for starters and you will still be able to work.
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Originally Posted by Grungehead
Rock,
I would recommend taking the 12 weeks of leave that FMLA offers first. If you are not ready to go back to work at the end of 12 weeks you can always quit at that point. If you quit your job now you would have to go on COBRA and pay the company's group rate for your health insurance (if you decided to keep it) where as with FMLA all of your benefits from your job stay intact. If you decide to go into inpatient (or outpatient) treatment your health insurance should cover some of that cost. I don't see where you would have anything to lose by taking the FMLA leave first and then see where you are at after 12 weeks.
I would recommend taking the 12 weeks of leave that FMLA offers first. If you are not ready to go back to work at the end of 12 weeks you can always quit at that point. If you quit your job now you would have to go on COBRA and pay the company's group rate for your health insurance (if you decided to keep it) where as with FMLA all of your benefits from your job stay intact. If you decide to go into inpatient (or outpatient) treatment your health insurance should cover some of that cost. I don't see where you would have anything to lose by taking the FMLA leave first and then see where you are at after 12 weeks.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
I'm in the FMLA camp. What if you boss doesn't hire you back?
No money and too much time can lead to relapse.
I wouldn't just assume the job would be there or that she would hire someone else
and just fire them when you wanted to come back.
My job was the stability thing I needed to stop and keep stopped with booze and on
a schedule. My husband isn't working right now and all that time is hard to fill,
He drinks more than ever. So it can be a double edged sword.
That said, obviously quitting should be the most important thing. But if you
can get treatment and keep your job, I would certainly try that first.
No money and too much time can lead to relapse.
I wouldn't just assume the job would be there or that she would hire someone else
and just fire them when you wanted to come back.
My job was the stability thing I needed to stop and keep stopped with booze and on
a schedule. My husband isn't working right now and all that time is hard to fill,
He drinks more than ever. So it can be a double edged sword.
That said, obviously quitting should be the most important thing. But if you
can get treatment and keep your job, I would certainly try that first.
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Originally Posted by Sudz No More
Rock, if you've already made it passed withdrawals why not try outpatient counseling?
I had a psychologist in the beginning and it really helped me to feel accountable for my actions. Once I got passed 6 months it really started to get easier. You just have to find a reason to hold on to sobriety those first couple months. Outpatient once a week for starters and you will still be able to work.
I had a psychologist in the beginning and it really helped me to feel accountable for my actions. Once I got passed 6 months it really started to get easier. You just have to find a reason to hold on to sobriety those first couple months. Outpatient once a week for starters and you will still be able to work.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Originally Posted by Rock2534
I realize I weirded that question weirdly and will rephrase. Do you think it's alright to quit a decent job to seek help?
I tried to keep working and get sober. No go. I couldn't worry about a job when I was going to die. I quit work and put 110% into getting well.
Funny, I even switched careers altogether after getting sober. I didn't even realize how my old career was part of my problem.
Fear kept me from doing this for SO long. I FINALLY (after 18 years) said, "Eff it, I've GOT to get a handle on this drinking/using for GOOD." And I did.
Glad you are here.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Originally Posted by mfanch
What happened in MY case was:
I tried to keep working and get sober. No go. I couldn't worry about a job when I was going to die. I quit work and put 110% into getting well.
Funny, I even switched careers altogether after getting sober. I didn't even realize how my old career was part of my problem.
Fear kept me from doing this for SO long. I FINALLY (after 18 years) said, "Eff it, I've GOT to get a handle on this drinking/using for GOOD." And I did.
Glad you are here.
I tried to keep working and get sober. No go. I couldn't worry about a job when I was going to die. I quit work and put 110% into getting well.
Funny, I even switched careers altogether after getting sober. I didn't even realize how my old career was part of my problem.
Fear kept me from doing this for SO long. I FINALLY (after 18 years) said, "Eff it, I've GOT to get a handle on this drinking/using for GOOD." And I did.
Glad you are here.
I feel like working my job is useless also since all I do is blow my money on booze and nothing has worked. Even as I type this, all I want to do is run to the liquor store because I'm feeling better and just want to sleep. I know it's not the answer and I'm not going but that's how I feel now.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Originally Posted by Rock2534
. I'm not a religious man and only go to church for weddings, but I'm willing to give aa a try. I looked at my life during this time and saw that I really had nothing left.
id suggest while yer sittin in front of your computer, do a google search for "big book online" and read.
if I "tried" AA, theres a high probability I wouldnt be sitting here clean and sober today. I "did" what the big book suggests and continue following them suggestions daily.
where I was just existing before I got into AA, I started living.
its been a great life.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by Rock2534
I honestly wish I could have said this myself because that is exactly how I feel.
I feel like working my job is useless also since all I do is blow my money on booze and nothing has worked. Even as I type this, all I want to do is run to the liquor store because I'm feeling better and just want to sleep. I know it's not the answer and I'm not going but that's how I feel now.
I feel like working my job is useless also since all I do is blow my money on booze and nothing has worked. Even as I type this, all I want to do is run to the liquor store because I'm feeling better and just want to sleep. I know it's not the answer and I'm not going but that's how I feel now.
staying sober has been easy and worth every second of fighting.
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
theres great news!! contrary to what quite a few say, AA is NOT religious!
id suggest while yer sittin in front of your computer, do a google search for "big book online" and read.
if I "tried" AA, theres a high probability I wouldnt be sitting here clean and sober today. I "did" what the big book suggests and continue following them suggestions daily.
where I was just existing before I got into AA, I started living.
its been a great life.
id suggest while yer sittin in front of your computer, do a google search for "big book online" and read.
if I "tried" AA, theres a high probability I wouldnt be sitting here clean and sober today. I "did" what the big book suggests and continue following them suggestions daily.
where I was just existing before I got into AA, I started living.
its been a great life.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
theres great news!! contrary to what quite a few say, AA is NOT religious!
id suggest while yer sittin in front of your computer, do a google search for "big book online" and read.
if I "tried" AA, theres a high probability I wouldnt be sitting here clean and sober today. I "did" what the big book suggests and continue following them suggestions daily.
where I was just existing before I got into AA, I started living.
its been a great life.
id suggest while yer sittin in front of your computer, do a google search for "big book online" and read.
if I "tried" AA, theres a high probability I wouldnt be sitting here clean and sober today. I "did" what the big book suggests and continue following them suggestions daily.
where I was just existing before I got into AA, I started living.
its been a great life.
AA helped me out a bit in the beginning. Eventually though, it just made me feel worse. I went to two meetings daily for the first 20 days or so. I didn't really "buy" into everything they believed about alcoholism or the 12 steps but it was comforting to know...be around people who kind of knew where I was coming from.
If anything else maybe give it a try? Some meetings ARE indeed religious though. The two meetings I went to started and ended with the "Lords Prayer" "Our Father, who ar't in heaven..." It didn't really bother me but if it bothers you perhaps try and find an alternate meetings? There are different paths/recovery "methods" to fit everyone. For some it is AA, for some it is just coming to SR, lifering, AVRT...find what works for YOU rock.
Be Well
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In a way, this is what I did, though I didn't think that was the purpose of my quitting. Maybe it was subconsciously.
Something I didn't expect was that my quitting would become such a big deal and make it really difficult to concentrate on whatever else I wanted to do. All of a sudden I needed to be on the topic of my having quit alcohol all the time and the drive to move myself in a different direction professionally went completely off the rails.
But I did this entirely by myself without a support network and without the right kind of things in place, including medical supervision. I was fine, but I don't recommend that people do what I did (see someone when you quit to be sure your health is in order). There was a lot of emotions to get through and it got better.
Professionally, I'm not on the same path, but that's how it has been going for me. Everyone has a different path. Sometimes there's a bitterness about my world being turned upside-down, but I don't allow myself to go down that path, because it's not healthy. There are things that have improved, such as not being obsessed with work and having to deal with it round the clock and never seeing anything else in life. I read and write more now and am less encumbered in other ways. But there are options for me. I just have to apply myself where I want to and see what's next. I am guessing that the options would not have been there if I had continued to drink, and that's because I had a really red and drunken face before I quit, and there would be people who could figure that out. That was a major influence in my decision to make the move to quit.
It can be scary to quit, but there is a world of opportunity in it that can be better, so I would want anyone who is thinking of quitting to allow themselves to "feel" what I'm saying. To feel that there can be a good behind this decision you are thinking about. And good luck.
Something I didn't expect was that my quitting would become such a big deal and make it really difficult to concentrate on whatever else I wanted to do. All of a sudden I needed to be on the topic of my having quit alcohol all the time and the drive to move myself in a different direction professionally went completely off the rails.
But I did this entirely by myself without a support network and without the right kind of things in place, including medical supervision. I was fine, but I don't recommend that people do what I did (see someone when you quit to be sure your health is in order). There was a lot of emotions to get through and it got better.
Professionally, I'm not on the same path, but that's how it has been going for me. Everyone has a different path. Sometimes there's a bitterness about my world being turned upside-down, but I don't allow myself to go down that path, because it's not healthy. There are things that have improved, such as not being obsessed with work and having to deal with it round the clock and never seeing anything else in life. I read and write more now and am less encumbered in other ways. But there are options for me. I just have to apply myself where I want to and see what's next. I am guessing that the options would not have been there if I had continued to drink, and that's because I had a really red and drunken face before I quit, and there would be people who could figure that out. That was a major influence in my decision to make the move to quit.
It can be scary to quit, but there is a world of opportunity in it that can be better, so I would want anyone who is thinking of quitting to allow themselves to "feel" what I'm saying. To feel that there can be a good behind this decision you are thinking about. And good luck.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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I took 4 days off work(detox), and managed to keep working right after getting out. The next month was pretty bad. Simple little shift changes were like brain surgery to me supposedly. Very forgetful...better now. I really hope they didn't become suspicious around that time.
Worked for me...was tough though
Worked for me...was tough though
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Join Date: May 2013
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I was one of those alcoholics who was so far down the rabbit hole that I needed inpatient rehab to have any chance at sobriety. I used FMLA and short-term disability to take off from work. I went back in about 6 weeks after entering rehab and have managed to stay sober ever since through AA and intensive outpatient rehab that I did for the first 5 months.
I wish you the best!
I wish you the best!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Michigan
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It's a tricky situation when you're in early recovery. Working too much can be disaster, but not having anything to do with your time can also be disaster.
I did leave my job at a law firm recently because I was working overload and had very little time or energy to get to meetings. I am now working part-time elsewhere which gives me time to get to many meetings in early recovery (doing 90 in 90) but also prevents me from having too much free time on my hands.
I did leave my job at a law firm recently because I was working overload and had very little time or energy to get to meetings. I am now working part-time elsewhere which gives me time to get to many meetings in early recovery (doing 90 in 90) but also prevents me from having too much free time on my hands.
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I will say it is very hard for outsiders to understand the need to quit a job. Some of my family members think I'm crazy to not be working full-time right now (sometimes I think they're right, but it definitely doesn't hurt that I can get to 2 meetings a day if I need to). Like others have said, I got to the point where I realized I needed to make major life changes and I needed to make sobriety the number one priority.
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Originally Posted by Rock2534
I see where you are coming from and there is no guarantee I would have a job. That's one part I'm willing to sacrifice. But if I don't take drastic action, I won't have a job anyways and will be dead pretty soon.
Hi Rock!
Did a LIGHT just go off on the bolded statement????
Stay with your job, quit your job, join the army, take a zen retreat---what to do is not the problem . How to do it is the problem. For God's sake where is it written you have to enter a VOID in order to get sober. I would say most of us let life happen around us while we made some deeply needed commitments to STOP drinking.
Keep you job, but find an addiction counselor you might see a few nights a week. You will need some guidance and absolutely some one to hold you accountable. Seems like the decision to leave your job is just another excuse to prolong your decision to stop drinking. Silly to give up a decent job, with an understanding boss--how will that make anything better? Then you will just be ANOTHER drunk without a job....but that's just me!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Boston, MA
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I was fortunate in that I was able to take a month off on short term disability, and my work supported me thorough it. I had been there for a long time and contributed a lot to the company... So the few who knew what was going on we're mostly just concerned for my well being.
At the time though it was very scary, but I was so sick I told myself if they fire me they fire me, if I don't do this I'm going to die.
I used the month after my detox to work on recovery every day. You will be fragile and emotional and sobriety needs to be the only thing you can focus on.
This Friday is my 2 year anniversary.
It was soooooo worth it.
At the time though it was very scary, but I was so sick I told myself if they fire me they fire me, if I don't do this I'm going to die.
I used the month after my detox to work on recovery every day. You will be fragile and emotional and sobriety needs to be the only thing you can focus on.
This Friday is my 2 year anniversary.
It was soooooo worth it.
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