jessie65

Hello all,

Not even sure what to say except that I only stayed sober for 2 weeks last time I was here. Since then my longest has been a week. I'm not a daily drinker but only because I fight the urge. Even this board is a trigger for me, just reading about drinking.

But if I'm truly honest, everything and anything is a trigger, living is a trigger, I just want to drink, that's all there is to it.
Yet, I know I want a sober life. I want to not want to drink, it if that makes sense.

I'm reading Rational Recovery, and I am totally aware of my AV, but I can't understand how that helps me resist it? My AV just says I'm drinking and I feel unable to resist. Actually it scares the heck out of me, the next morning I'm almost frozen with fear, realizing I did it again, when hours before I felt so strong. How can that happen?? It really does feel like another entity is in control.

Any ideas/advice on making Rational Recovery work for me would be helpful. Thank-you all for reading.

MrTumble

Hi Jessie, its a rotten feeling, to make ourselves promises and then to let ourselves down, but please take consolation in the fact that soooo many of us experience this and have had the same misery that results. BUT, also take heart that so many people have managed to quit and free themselves from this feeling.

So dont panic. You are in the right place and youre doing the right thing by wanting to quit. So not all bad

KateL

Yeah, you'll get there in the end if you want to. I can take some time x

dwtbd

You have to not start. Use what you know about AVRT to help you not start. Take control of the " now" the exact moment you are experiencing and do not start. You can do it.
Sometime between the strong resolve and the disappointment of the morning you started that was the now you missed . It didn't happen without your involvement you must be completely involved in not allowing it to start.

GiantNZ

Get a network of alcoholic's around you, maybe AA (it's working for me) and then when you feel the urge to pick up make a phone call instead, I can promise they will be there for you as they have been in that place as well. Take care and good luck.