jmbrandon87

In case you haven't seen any of my posts on here before... I've been sober for a little over 3 months. Lately I've been struggling to stay sober, and it seems that the memories and reasons why I quit drinking are fading! I have to remind myself. I almost drank last night. I was tempted in every way. God, and my own logic is what made me not walk into the store to buy alcohol. I actually needed to get things from the store, but avoided it totally because I knew I would have gotten beer. I've been dealing with depression and boredom, and the feeling of needing alcohol to have fun which I know is not something you "need" to have fun. Anyway, the reason for this post, is now that I'm not wasting money for beer, I feel like I can save a lot of that money toward a vacation. I feel excited for it. I think that getting away and having a good time, will also help with realizing how much I can experience, and do it being sober. ~Just some of my thoughts this morning

Try18

Well done on your 3 months and well done on staying sober. I call forgetting how bad it all was my alcoholic amnesia. In rehab we had to write down consequences of our drinking in detail. Maybe try that and have it at hand to reflect upon. I currently writing one again as i relapsed and just early days again.

jmbrandon87

Thanks Try18... Usually that does help me a little, when I force myself to think about how bad things got.

jkb

Idk what it is about that 3 month point but, I had to really fight with myself not to drink for a while after I hit 3 months. It was like this voice in my head saying "Yeah your all better now have at it". It did pass though just stay strong.

What worked for me was saying to myself "Even if there was never a huge problem (which there was) drinking the copious amounts of alcohol you did was not healthy." I Idk why that worked but, it gave my AV nothing to work with.

Just thoughts,

Jess

Try18

In the early days we really do have to force ourselves to remember. Alcohol always wants us back. The mind is a tricky place, my old sponsor used to always say "Treat your mind like a dangerous neighbourhood, don't go there alone."

Doug39

I am about 3 1/2 months sober and I am going through this bigtime.

It is like I want to just have a few drinks in moderation to prove I am "cured".

I know it would be a letdown and I would hate myself afterward.

Everytime I get an urge I just think to myself "would alcohol make today a better day?"

So far the answer has always been "No".

jkb

Yep... I hear you Doug39. I now refer to it as the "alcohol amnesia". I have been sober a bit over 8 months and it is still tough at times. I try to make a list of why I quit and it is like my mind downplays how bad it all was.

Jess

jmbrandon87

That's how I feel. I feel like I want to try to drink a "few" but I doubt I could just do that on a regular basis. And if I do drink again, I know I'll beat myself up bad for it, because I know myself..

Doug39

If the people around me didn't drink, I doubt I would have the desire to drink at all.

My wife still drinks and likes to go to bars, etc.

Saturday night we were out at a bar with my wife's friend and they both got wasted. I was miserable.

But I didn't want to drink with them- I wanted to go home.

I also realized that even if I was drinking with them at that bar I would have been miserable. I just DO NOT want to live that life anymore.

Yes I said I do miss the bar scene, wineries and parties sometimes, but I believe it is just fond memories coming back; I need to realize I can never recreate those memories again.