The power of alcohol is amazing, but it lies!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 123
The power of alcohol is amazing, but it lies!
Alcohol turned me into the person I didn’t want to become & recovery is turning me back to the person I was meant to be. Is this positive change automatic? No, it’s process…and takes effort, time and patience.
The power of alcohol amazing! It’s deceptive, it lies, my problem solver turned on me and it didn’t happen overnight. Early in my drinking days, alcohol was awesome…it did what I wanted it to do. It was the solution for everything…it seemed! It made me feel 10 feet tall, gave me courage, gave me confidence, and was my answer to forgetting problems relieving my day to day stress. It helped me celebrate by enhancing my mood, making me fun and humorous.
But eventually it started taking over. It became a problem, I felt hung-over every day. I hated morning and hated the fact people were so upbeat and refreshed in the morning. I felt like sh**. Alcohol lost it’s magic. It didn’t have the same powerful affect on my life. It didn’t have the same relief and it didn’t pick up my mood like it once did…so what do alcoholics do? Drink more and faster…I was blacking out all the time. Problems really started to pile up. The problem was that I was so entrenched with using alcohol on daily basis I didn’t know how to cope and live without it. Personally I was a lair; a cheat, manipulator; sneaky; false & living a double life. I hated myself for it. I turned into exactly what I didn’t want in life.
But I find hope. I found hope in God. 27 years I tried to fill a hole with materialism, fun, work, people and of course our friend alcohol. It all gave me a small temporary lift but it stopped working.
Now I am letting go of the wheels and letting God take control and here’s what I am experiencing. My worries about how things will end up if I give up control don’t happen. Things not only work out they way they are intended but to my amazement even better. I understand things I couldn’t see and feel like feelings of Hope like I never felt in my life. I am start to let God take my agenda and fill it daily. I have no idea where I am going and what is going to happen…and it’s so exciting! I just know it is good and feels right. I am sober, and happy, and want to help and be a better person. It’s working! Finding God in my life made all the difference.
The power of alcohol amazing! It’s deceptive, it lies, my problem solver turned on me and it didn’t happen overnight. Early in my drinking days, alcohol was awesome…it did what I wanted it to do. It was the solution for everything…it seemed! It made me feel 10 feet tall, gave me courage, gave me confidence, and was my answer to forgetting problems relieving my day to day stress. It helped me celebrate by enhancing my mood, making me fun and humorous.
But eventually it started taking over. It became a problem, I felt hung-over every day. I hated morning and hated the fact people were so upbeat and refreshed in the morning. I felt like sh**. Alcohol lost it’s magic. It didn’t have the same powerful affect on my life. It didn’t have the same relief and it didn’t pick up my mood like it once did…so what do alcoholics do? Drink more and faster…I was blacking out all the time. Problems really started to pile up. The problem was that I was so entrenched with using alcohol on daily basis I didn’t know how to cope and live without it. Personally I was a lair; a cheat, manipulator; sneaky; false & living a double life. I hated myself for it. I turned into exactly what I didn’t want in life.
But I find hope. I found hope in God. 27 years I tried to fill a hole with materialism, fun, work, people and of course our friend alcohol. It all gave me a small temporary lift but it stopped working.
Now I am letting go of the wheels and letting God take control and here’s what I am experiencing. My worries about how things will end up if I give up control don’t happen. Things not only work out they way they are intended but to my amazement even better. I understand things I couldn’t see and feel like feelings of Hope like I never felt in my life. I am start to let God take my agenda and fill it daily. I have no idea where I am going and what is going to happen…and it’s so exciting! I just know it is good and feels right. I am sober, and happy, and want to help and be a better person. It’s working! Finding God in my life made all the difference.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Wonderful post!
I love this part! That is how I feel too. I used to plan out ever detail, then I was upset when things did not go as I had planned.
I don't do that anymore. I can plan but if things don't go that way then I am okay with that. If is meant to be then it will happen.
Originally Posted by rowd44 
I have no idea where I am going and what is going to happen…and it’s so exciting! I just know it is good and feels right.
I don't do that anymore. I can plan but if things don't go that way then I am okay with that. If is meant to be then it will happen.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
What a wonderful, uplifting post. I'm so delighted by your enthusiasm...It's infectious!
Yes, indeed, feeling real feelings about real things, whether sad or happy, is the greatest gift of a sober life, especially after so many years of my head not connecting to my heart. I thought it did, but all of the maudlin tears and the gushing laughter that came out as the wine went down were just illusions. Like dreams, those fake emotions faded away as soon as the alcohol wore off.
Now, when I feel a rush of love for my husband, or swell with pride over my kids, it's REAL. My heart is connected to my head again. And that is not just a gift for me, it's an even greater joy for my loved ones, who know that I'm absolutely sincere. If you are new to recovery, I hope that you understand that these feelings are coming, and it's so worthwhile!
Yes, indeed, feeling real feelings about real things, whether sad or happy, is the greatest gift of a sober life, especially after so many years of my head not connecting to my heart. I thought it did, but all of the maudlin tears and the gushing laughter that came out as the wine went down were just illusions. Like dreams, those fake emotions faded away as soon as the alcohol wore off.
Now, when I feel a rush of love for my husband, or swell with pride over my kids, it's REAL. My heart is connected to my head again. And that is not just a gift for me, it's an even greater joy for my loved ones, who know that I'm absolutely sincere. If you are new to recovery, I hope that you understand that these feelings are coming, and it's so worthwhile!
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