Relapse Thinking
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Originally Posted by TrixMixer 
I get it Maxx. You are probably a really good looking guy also. That makes the drinking, partying, sex thing even more intoxicating.
I lived for parties, clubs, events anywhere there would be men and good times. I was one of the lucky ones too who had the looks that allowed me to get whatever I want. It was such a rush for me to get ready to go out because of the excitement of who I might meet and being the center of attention. Even blessed with good looks, grate body, great career etc, I was still soooooo insecure that I needed alcohol to feel good about myself.
Believe me I understand you more than you know. The thought of letting go of that "Rush" scared the hell out of me. I thought I would become this meek little wall flower that would just be ignored instead of being the center of attention.
If I may I would like to share a story with you that may resonate. There was this guy who was always at the center of the club scene . He was gorgeous, funny, charming, sexy, and always dressed to kill. We were drinking buddies. Of course the beautiful people. After I got sober I ran into him , still at the same clubs, still drinking....but the looks were bloated, the Italian custom suits were now too tight , his charm was more sloppy, and his wit-when you could understand him , was just slurred jibberish. This was 2 years after I got sober , so he was 35--he was also younger than me.
The point of this story is he was STILL looking in the mirror seeing the guy he ONCE was, and probably could not figure out why he was not the lady killer he once was. Alcohol had caught up with him as it always does. I sat with him for a while and he could not belive I had quit drinking, but I found out in that 2 hour conversation--I was the Lucky One, and he still had to face his demons, it was a very sad time for me. The end of the story is for another day, but you only have ONE chance at your life--please do not waste it by going back to that "Oh so Cool Guy" who is really only that way in his own mind.
Find how life can really be a gift and live it sober free until the end, You will meet that special one, and also have lots of fun in that search Trust me!
Would a purple and pink stripped cat lie to you? Come on look at that smile, eh?
Sincerely,
Trix the cat
I lived for parties, clubs, events anywhere there would be men and good times. I was one of the lucky ones too who had the looks that allowed me to get whatever I want. It was such a rush for me to get ready to go out because of the excitement of who I might meet and being the center of attention. Even blessed with good looks, grate body, great career etc, I was still soooooo insecure that I needed alcohol to feel good about myself.
Believe me I understand you more than you know. The thought of letting go of that "Rush" scared the hell out of me. I thought I would become this meek little wall flower that would just be ignored instead of being the center of attention.
If I may I would like to share a story with you that may resonate. There was this guy who was always at the center of the club scene . He was gorgeous, funny, charming, sexy, and always dressed to kill. We were drinking buddies. Of course the beautiful people. After I got sober I ran into him , still at the same clubs, still drinking....but the looks were bloated, the Italian custom suits were now too tight , his charm was more sloppy, and his wit-when you could understand him , was just slurred jibberish. This was 2 years after I got sober , so he was 35--he was also younger than me.
The point of this story is he was STILL looking in the mirror seeing the guy he ONCE was, and probably could not figure out why he was not the lady killer he once was. Alcohol had caught up with him as it always does. I sat with him for a while and he could not belive I had quit drinking, but I found out in that 2 hour conversation--I was the Lucky One, and he still had to face his demons, it was a very sad time for me. The end of the story is for another day, but you only have ONE chance at your life--please do not waste it by going back to that "Oh so Cool Guy" who is really only that way in his own mind.
Find how life can really be a gift and live it sober free until the end, You will meet that special one, and also have lots of fun in that search Trust me!
Would a purple and pink stripped cat lie to you? Come on look at that smile, eh?
Sincerely,
Trix the cat
Huh, never thought a purple and pink stripped cat named trix would make me smile today
How long into your recovery were you able to go on holiday trips/social gatherings etc?..any slips?
Just the advice I was looking for coming from a good looking/intelligent women that's been there before.
it means more to me than you know...
I need a wife and kids to keep me occupied! quick!
Maxx
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Johnston
Maxx,
Man oh man do I relate. Scary that in the back of mind I romance a night of booze and broads. Luckily age has conspired to make the likelihood of the former ever smaller, day by day. BTW, I also suffered from pancreatitis. Not fun. Focus on that.
Man oh man do I relate. Scary that in the back of mind I romance a night of booze and broads. Luckily age has conspired to make the likelihood of the former ever smaller, day by day. BTW, I also suffered from pancreatitis. Not fun. Focus on that.
I try not to think about my pancreas to much cause it throws me into a wonderful anxiety attack. Thinking about that pain again..my goodness.
So far I still can eat whatever I want with no pain whatsoever.
Have you had more than one bout of pancreatitis? I don't know anyone else who has this problem - so its nice to know your here.
It's almost been a year since my first attack, so I feel healthy now.
So that can be both a good/bad thing for me..
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Bostonsportsfan
I know what you mean. Alcohol/partying/sex all just go hand and hand. I wouldn't have gotten with most of the girls I've been with if it wasn't for booze.
I have always related to allot of your posts - especially your/our withdrawal symptoms.
Unbelievable how hard it is not to drink..huh?
Your in your early 20's right? maybe think of your early sobriety as a blessing.
I'm not that much older than you..but who knows...maybe I am lucky to be alive after all the stupid **** ive done. I dunno?
I'm just going to hide and not drink..that all I know.
wish you all the best too bro..
maxx
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
Originally Posted by MaxxPower
Bostonsf,
I have always related to allot of your posts - especially your/our withdrawal symptoms.
Unbelievable how hard it is not to drink..huh?
Your in your early 20's right? maybe think of your early sobriety as a blessing.
I'm not that much older than you..but who knows...maybe I am lucky to be alive after all the stupid **** ive done. I dunno?
I'm just going to hide and not drink..that all I know.
wish you all the best too bro..
maxx
I have always related to allot of your posts - especially your/our withdrawal symptoms.
Unbelievable how hard it is not to drink..huh?
Your in your early 20's right? maybe think of your early sobriety as a blessing.
I'm not that much older than you..but who knows...maybe I am lucky to be alive after all the stupid **** ive done. I dunno?
I'm just going to hide and not drink..that all I know.
wish you all the best too bro..
maxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
Originally Posted by MaxxPower
Hey Johnston, yah.
I try not to think about my pancreas to much cause it throws me into a wonderful anxiety attack. Thinking about that pain again..my goodness.
So far I still can eat whatever I want with no pain whatsoever.
Have you had more than one bout of pancreatitis? I don't know anyone else who has this problem - so its nice to know your here.
It's almost been a year since my first attack, so I feel healthy now.
So that can be both a good/bad thing for me..
I try not to think about my pancreas to much cause it throws me into a wonderful anxiety attack. Thinking about that pain again..my goodness.
So far I still can eat whatever I want with no pain whatsoever.
Have you had more than one bout of pancreatitis? I don't know anyone else who has this problem - so its nice to know your here.
It's almost been a year since my first attack, so I feel healthy now.
So that can be both a good/bad thing for me..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by MaxxPower
Huh, never thought a purple and pink stripped cat named trix would make me smile today
How long into your recovery were you able to go on holiday trips/social gatherings etc?..any slips?
Just the advice I was looking for coming from a good looking/intelligent women that's been there before.
it means more to me than you know...
I need a wife and kids to keep me occupied! quick!
Maxx
How long into your recovery were you able to go on holiday trips/social gatherings etc?..any slips?
Just the advice I was looking for coming from a good looking/intelligent women that's been there before.
it means more to me than you know...
I need a wife and kids to keep me occupied! quick!
Maxx
Well thank you, Sir Maxx! Let's see----to answer your questions :
Since I was 35 when I quit and had a job that revolved around entertaining and parties (I was a Merchandise manager for a chain of department stores), and my then boyfriends and eventual husband still drank...oh it was about a week, LOL!
Seriously the resolve I had to stop killing myself and being that "one night stand" far outweighed the magnet drinking had become. I knew the rest of the world was going to go on drinking and partying, they sure were not going to stop because poor little me was a drunk and couldn't do what they could do. So somehow a higher power ( like to think it was MY higher Power) kept me strong.
Here is a little trick that might help you--Social Anxiety is why a lot of us drunks are just that. Alcohol gives us a false sense of confidence, exactly like -------------- said. A few drinks will take our inhibitions , put them in a box under the bed, and allow us to be God's Gift to the world, especially the opposite sex. It takes away all our sexual inhibitions--it is no wonder you did things when drunk you never thought you would do--Yee Haa!
See a doctor and check out the possibility you may have Social Anxiety and there is medication for that--and it is not alcohol. That helped me tremendously. Read books on alcoholism . It is amazing the things you will learn.
Good luck my friend--I better get an invite to the wedding---after you have had your fill of One Nighters, that is.
Trix
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 99
Great post!
The thrill: Before I hit my low bottom drunk (lol) for example, staying in the house, isolating myself, killing 2 fifths of vodka of day. I was in my high bottom in drink (lol) I had gastric bypass and lost 200 lbs. Due to me being ober 300 lbs for most of my teens and half of my 20's, the weight loss totally transformed me into a foxx (not tootling my own horn). My face changed, body totally changed, and confidence grew to higher heights. Now throw Vodka into the equation (lol). Hubby started divorce proceedings, I was 30 and not full blown into my disease (alcoholism). On my kid free weekends, I would get dressed and hit 3 clubs and 2 bars by myself, sometimes without a dime in my pocket because I knew I would get in for free, drink for free and eat for free. Sounds crazy I know, but the truth in our addiction is sometimes a bit crazy. This lasted from last spring going into the summer. Then....
The reality: My low bottom drunk came in to play. ( Why get dressed up, why be around other people when I could sit on my couch and blankly stare at CNN and drink myself into oblivion for 3 days straight).
This disease is pure insanity.
The thrill: Before I hit my low bottom drunk (lol) for example, staying in the house, isolating myself, killing 2 fifths of vodka of day. I was in my high bottom in drink (lol) I had gastric bypass and lost 200 lbs. Due to me being ober 300 lbs for most of my teens and half of my 20's, the weight loss totally transformed me into a foxx (not tootling my own horn). My face changed, body totally changed, and confidence grew to higher heights. Now throw Vodka into the equation (lol). Hubby started divorce proceedings, I was 30 and not full blown into my disease (alcoholism). On my kid free weekends, I would get dressed and hit 3 clubs and 2 bars by myself, sometimes without a dime in my pocket because I knew I would get in for free, drink for free and eat for free. Sounds crazy I know, but the truth in our addiction is sometimes a bit crazy. This lasted from last spring going into the summer. Then....
The reality: My low bottom drunk came in to play. ( Why get dressed up, why be around other people when I could sit on my couch and blankly stare at CNN and drink myself into oblivion for 3 days straight).
This disease is pure insanity.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by MaxxPower
How long into your recovery were you able to go on holiday trips/social gatherings etc?..any slips?
Maxx
I need to qualify my previous statement, Maxx. The parties and entertainment was always around me when I first got sober. I learned to nurse a tonic and lime, then leave early after making the gratuitous rounds. The one thing that helped was I made no efforts to hide the fact I was an alcoholic in recovery...ugh! it sure wasn't a secret ?
I did have to totally avoid ALL clubs, bars, and people I associated with who were still drinking. That was not easy, but I just poured everything into my work and somehow got through it. The first time I set foot into a club was the night I ran into Mr. Smooth. I still avoid parties where I know it will be All drinking, and New Years Eve is not what it once was for me. I stay home now.
I was 35 years old when I stopped drinking and the social whirl was a hard thing to get past, but I some how did and am one of the lucky ones to have never relapsed. I have been sober for 25 years...but still have some GREAT memories!
What you are doing may be the hardest thing you will have to do--let's hope it is. Not easy to give up a party life and all the women ...but we do survive it, and actually in your case can become more of a Babe Magnet then you are now. At least you will REMEMBER the sex!!
I sense you will make it Maxx!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
[QUOTE=MaxxPower;4284565]Huh, never thought a purple and pink stripped cat named trix would make me smile today
Hey Girlfriend,
That statement does NOT sound crazy at all. That WAS the Rush! I know it well---AAAHHHHH the good ole days!
TrixMixer
Originally Posted by JLC82
Great post!
The thrill: Before I hit my low bottom drunk (lol) for example, staying in the house, isolating myself, killing 2 fifths of vodka of day. I was in my high bottom in drink (lol) I had gastric bypass and lost 200 lbs. Due to me being ober 300 lbs for most of my teens and half of my 20's, the weight loss totally transformed me into a foxx (not tootling my own horn). My face changed, body totally changed, and confidence grew to higher heights. Now throw Vodka into the equation (lol). Hubby started divorce proceedings, I was 30 and not full blown into my disease (alcoholism). On my kid free weekends, I would get dressed and hit 3 clubs and 2 bars by myself, sometimes without a dime in my pocket because I knew I would get in for free, drink for free and eat for free. Sounds crazy I know, but the truth in our addiction is sometimes a bit crazy. This lasted from last spring going into the summer. Then....
The reality: My low bottom drunk came in to play. ( Why get dressed up, why be around other people when I could sit on my couch and blankly stare at CNN and drink myself into oblivion for 3 days straight).
This disease is pure insanity.
The thrill: Before I hit my low bottom drunk (lol) for example, staying in the house, isolating myself, killing 2 fifths of vodka of day. I was in my high bottom in drink (lol) I had gastric bypass and lost 200 lbs. Due to me being ober 300 lbs for most of my teens and half of my 20's, the weight loss totally transformed me into a foxx (not tootling my own horn). My face changed, body totally changed, and confidence grew to higher heights. Now throw Vodka into the equation (lol). Hubby started divorce proceedings, I was 30 and not full blown into my disease (alcoholism). On my kid free weekends, I would get dressed and hit 3 clubs and 2 bars by myself, sometimes without a dime in my pocket because I knew I would get in for free, drink for free and eat for free. Sounds crazy I know, but the truth in our addiction is sometimes a bit crazy. This lasted from last spring going into the summer. Then....
The reality: My low bottom drunk came in to play. ( Why get dressed up, why be around other people when I could sit on my couch and blankly stare at CNN and drink myself into oblivion for 3 days straight).
This disease is pure insanity.
Hey Girlfriend,
That statement does NOT sound crazy at all. That WAS the Rush! I know it well---AAAHHHHH the good ole days!
TrixMixer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by TrixMixer
Well thank you, Sir Maxx! Let's see----to answer your questions :
Since I was 35 when I quit and had a job that revolved around entertaining and parties (I was a Merchandise manager for a chain of department stores), and my then boyfriends and eventual husband still drank...oh it was about a week, LOL!
Seriously the resolve I had to stop killing myself and being that "one night stand" far outweighed the magnet drinking had become. I knew the rest of the world was going to go on drinking and partying, they sure were not going to stop because poor little me was a drunk and couldn't do what they could do. So somehow a higher power ( like to think it was MY higher Power) kept me strong.
Here is a little trick that might help you--Social Anxiety is why a lot of us drunks are just that. Alcohol gives us a false sense of confidence, exactly like -------------- said. A few drinks will take our inhibitions , put them in a box under the bed, and allow us to be God's Gift to the world, especially the opposite sex. It takes away all our sexual inhibitions--it is no wonder you did things when drunk you never thought you would do--Yee Haa!
See a doctor and check out the possibility you may have Social Anxiety and there is medication for that--and it is not alcohol. That helped me tremendously. Read books on alcoholism . It is amazing the things you will learn.
Good luck my friend--I better get an invite to the wedding---after you have had your fill of One Nighters, that is.
Trix
Since I was 35 when I quit and had a job that revolved around entertaining and parties (I was a Merchandise manager for a chain of department stores), and my then boyfriends and eventual husband still drank...oh it was about a week, LOL!
Seriously the resolve I had to stop killing myself and being that "one night stand" far outweighed the magnet drinking had become. I knew the rest of the world was going to go on drinking and partying, they sure were not going to stop because poor little me was a drunk and couldn't do what they could do. So somehow a higher power ( like to think it was MY higher Power) kept me strong.
Here is a little trick that might help you--Social Anxiety is why a lot of us drunks are just that. Alcohol gives us a false sense of confidence, exactly like -------------- said. A few drinks will take our inhibitions , put them in a box under the bed, and allow us to be God's Gift to the world, especially the opposite sex. It takes away all our sexual inhibitions--it is no wonder you did things when drunk you never thought you would do--Yee Haa!
See a doctor and check out the possibility you may have Social Anxiety and there is medication for that--and it is not alcohol. That helped me tremendously. Read books on alcoholism . It is amazing the things you will learn.
Good luck my friend--I better get an invite to the wedding---after you have had your fill of One Nighters, that is.
Trix
My goodness Trixx, you see right through me.
Id like to skip everything and just marry you - if you weren't a purple and pink stripped cat
Looks like I have plenty of reading to do, and doctor appointments to book.
thank you!
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