TDInstall

I saw my former self.

A guy was sitting near me looking on the edge of withdrawals. Eyes gritted shut, head bent over, burping nearly puking, and utterly reeking of alcohol.
This was at 3pm.

I remember living like that.

Poor guy. Hope he manages to escape.

AdanteFornax

I've been that person as well. Thank you for posting this TDInstall

john44

I've been him, too. Prayer said.

awuh1

I don't often break my anonymity with strangers (or those who might overhear) but there are times, such as you describe, that I do. At times like this, what people know about my past becomes far less important than the good I might do by sharing it.

I did not do this in early sobriety. I had less time sober, less of a solution to share, and less confidence in my own ability to stay sober.

There came a point where I felt compelled to act. Sometimes what I say seems to fall on deaf ears. That's ok. I don't determine how my words are heard. I also keep in mind that words have a way of returning when the ability to hear them presents itself.

TDInstall

Yeah I was very tempted to at least acknowledge that I knew how he felt, but I stopped myself - when I was at that stage, the last thing I would have wanted was any interaction with another human. My inner turmoil and raging conflict between my addiction and mere survival already had me running at 200% capacity.

Seeing this guy like that took me instantly back to my darkest days and it actually physically hurt me inside to witness.

I pray for him.

MattM316

I always used to drink on trains but that was always fairly enjoyable, a few cans and a magazine or book or mp3 player to make the journey go faster.

I've never encountered anyone in an alcoholic state on there before, I just tend to end up near those annoying people who feel the need to have loud, personal conversations on their mobile phones.

TDInstall

I probably dont live where you think I do. I am in an extremely populated area of the world, where every takes the train to get around.

People jump on and off the train at will, so we get to see all walks of life.

bigsombrero

I also live in an area like that (see my profile), and I know what you mean. I haven't owned a car in 5 years and in my part of the city the train is just part of daily life. I have also been that guy you saw....at my worst I was the guy wearing a suit and tie on the Blue Line sweating like crazy at 7:30am going through mini-withdrawls on the way to the office.

When I see that kind of thing now - especially someone who looks like I did - I want to get away from them. Maybe I'm heartless, maybe I'm chicken...and maybe it hits too close to home. Either way it scares me straight.

Thanks for sharing that story.

TDInstall

Yeah, there was definitely an impulse to get away too. Not sure why, but you are probably right about it being too painfully familiar.

Banquo

I was that guy too. Except I used to combat my withdrawals by sneaking a miniature whisky or two in my coffee. Glad I'm not that way now. It nearly cost me my job. Because however you clean your teeth, or suck mints you still reek of alcohol.

MrDavid

Me too. By the grace of God go I.