Sally3127

I'm almost 10 months sober and have attended AA at least 5 times a week until recently. I just feel I need a break. I know we are supposed to "take what we want and leave the rest" but even that was getting difficult. I also was disillusioned with my sponsor because she was not really practicing the principles. I don't mean to be critical but she got up and walked out of a couple of meetings because of some "assholes" that she couldn't stand. There just seems to be a lot of drama at AA sometimes. I still intend to read my literature and come here and get some ESH. I have no intention of drinking. I know where that road leads. I just feel I can focus on my recovery using different avenues and methods. At the end of the day not taking a drink is all that matters.

Tamerua

Hearing that is so disheartening but then I have to remember that AA is made up of a bunch of drunks. Any chance of finding a different meeting?

Johnston

I still like to pop into a meeting now and then, but have found sites like SR more than sufficient as a recovery venue. Good luck!

Sally3127

Hi Tam. Yes there are quite a few other meetings around my area and I intend to give them a try. I know I need to keep up with meetings for my recovery. I just need a little breathing room.

Boleo

5 times a week is a bit much for most of the old-timers I know. 2 -3 times a week seems to be more normal IMO.

Mags1

Like varieties of chocolate to satisfy us all there are different ways to help our recovery, not all suit everyone all or some of the time, for me I prefer SR! I'm sat here at just gone 2 am in the morning, For me, I would never dream of disturbing someone to talk, pontificate at this time in the night, but to turn on my iPad and have a wealth of help and experience, so much appreciated. Thanks To all at SR

Weaver

I kind of know what you mean. I have been attending a meeting every day for the past 17 days. It can get a bit overwhelming so to speak. I told myself in the beginning ( my sobriety date) that I would attend 30 meetings in 30 days. I don't necessarily agree with much of the AA philosophies but I am going to stick to my promise, and it is something that helps somewhat in the beginning. I am exploring alternate recovery methods including SMART and AVRT. Wealth of knowledge in these methods.


Nothing wrong with taking a break, or as you said getting some "breathing room." As you said the most important part is not taking that first drink.


That said, if you do feel the desire be sure and pop in here, read over your literature or ANYTHING. Just stay away from that first drink as we all know the road that it leads to.

I have found SR (this one is a biggie) to be very beneficial thus far.

DayTrader

Interesting to me that your sponsor bailing on a meeting seems tacky or distasteful..... but you doing the same thing from the program is acceptable. Not calling you out, just suggesting that may be something to consider.

Personally, I think if meetings are all you're doing in AA you're missing the whole deal anyway. I find it far more beneficial to be 12th stepping new ppl 5x per week vs sitting in a meeting 5x per week.

How are you doing with your current 12th step work? If that answer is less than you'd like it to be, I'd say taking some time from meetings to focus on the real deal in AA - carrying the message of how to have a spiritual awakening and recover from alcoholism is a greeaaaaat idea. Good for you!

(and just for future reference, unless you weren't looking for responses from ppl currently active in AA, Id suggest posting AA-related questions in the 12-Step area of this site as a good portion of the AA folks 'round here don't reply to AA-type questions anywhere else.)

and just for the record, I know people who've attended 2-3 meetings per day for months....... one for almost a whole year. So is 5 per week too many? I guess that depends. To some folks, it's far too little.

Ruby2

I was also attending around 5 meetings a week and burned out so to speak, much as you did. I was at ten and a half months and then I relapsed. Don't know if there was a cause and effect but that is what happened to me. I was attending pretty much the same meeting with the same bunch of people all the time. At first it was helpful but later on not so much.

Maybe if you can vary the meetings? I feel now I should have gone to different places once in a while. Sometimes there was a bunch of drama and it wasn't very helpful. Kind of like the island of misfit toys. A lot of people coming in from sober living and half way houses, some homeless people with mental illnesses and some people who had little tolerance for all that. Sniping and walking out of the meetings in frustration. i went to these particular meetings because they fit my schedule rather than what was most beneficial.

Bostonsportsfan

Not everyone needs AA to become and stay sober. It's useful to a lot of people, but not for everyone. I haven't gone so far and don't plan on going to a AA meeting anytime soon. Everyone is different and whatever works to keep you sober is what you should do.

Best of luck staying sober.

Weaver

Regardless of what current AA'ers tell you or non AA'ers tell you, do what feels right for YOU. All of these posts are just suggestions.

Do you think not going to AA meetings would affect your sobriety? You say not so I would tend to believe you.

At the end of the day, what matters most is what fits/works for YOU. Take our suggestions for what they are...suggestions that seem to be working for us personally, after all we are all alcoholics anyways. If you feel strong in your sobriety I would hate for you to feel guilted into something you do not feel comfortable doing. Maybe change of scenery?

Be well

Dee74

I know you don't, but I see lots of AAers posting in other areas of the forums DT.

I wish you well Sally - checking out some other meetings is a good idea. What else do you have planned for your recovery

D

Sally3127

Love all your comments and suggestions. And DayTrader, you certainly weren't calling me out. You definitely gave me food for thought. I am definitely staying sober. AA has kept me sober for 10 months. I'm certainly not going to stop going. I was going to the same meeting at the same time almost daily. It's time to change it up. Thanks so much. I love this forum.

MrGhost

"I have no intention of drinking."

No one ever does. If you happen to drink again you'll be back at AA.

Anyways, I think doing things how you want is part of being independent, so I am all for what you are doing.

Weaver

Glad to hear you sounding positive!

Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery, different group. Who knows, perhaps the next meeting you go to will be uber duber (those ARE words right?) fantastic?

Good luck

dizzychainsaw

When I distance myself from AA,I relapse. Not always right away but it's happened sooner or later every single time. That's my experience. I found 3 meetings a week to be good for me. Best wishes to you.

Sally3127

Dee, I'm going to continue to come to site is part of my plan. I'm going to look for different meetings and do some book studies.

IOAA2

There isn't much normal about alcoholics, read these pages as an example, normal for alcoholics may be closer.

I attend a noon meeting that 40-55 attend daily. The seats are set up in rows of about 5. Numerous times because of poor hearing I position myself in the first row. Several times in the last month I guestimated the total years of sobriety in that row to be around 200 years. Most of us show up on a daily basis.

This may not be the norm as many retired people live in the area and it's probably get out of the house time. JMO BE WELL

kentuckydan

Sorry to hear about the problems. Let's try breaking it down, the meetings you attend and the sponsor are not giving you what you need? Try other meetings but look for a person who has what you want and talk to them, from there go on to meetings that are more nurturing for you. I am happy that you seem to be over the terror bewilderment, but it seems not the frustration. For me at 10 months a meeting was the only place I got any peace, It stilled the screaming in my mind.

MIRecovery

I go to four to five distinct meetings every week. Each other its own flavor and its own personalites but none of them have any drama. In 4 plus years of going I've only seen one occurrence of drama so drama is not the norm. I would look for meetings where you feel comfortable the whole point of going is to make you feel better not worse.

If your sponsor is not meeting your requirements find a different sponsor. All I can say is that regular attendance at AA meetings has kept me sober for a while and I've heard one horror story after another about people who.stopped going to meetings.