Threshold

Have you done the steps?

My understanding of a sponsor is a guide through the steps, not a guru or even a personal example of how to live life. It would be cool if every sponsor could be a glowing example of spiritual change and spiritual living but we are all works in progress and we all have our less than stellar moments.

I had a hard time not getting caught up in the drama of various groups. One of my weak points.

I ended up moving to an isolated area with no meetings...and funny thing. This is where ultimately I did the steps for real and got clean and sober for real. Not a meeting in site, but the steps on a daily basis and tuning in to SR to stay in the atmosphere of recovery.

Everyone has different things that support or wear down their recovery. I think it's important to examine our motives very honestly, and be willing to tweak if something is not working.

I didn't stop going to meetings volunteeraly but when I no longer had them to turn to (and all the juicy excitement) I had more time and energy to focus on my OWN recovery rather than talking about recovery (and other people).

There were times I excused myself from meetings for various reasons (including various speakers) as long as I did it politely and didn't smack talk them or blame them for my discomfort, I don't see a problem with it. We don't have to love everyone or relate to everyone in the program.

One thing I learned was that expectations are unreasonable...including the one's I had for myself! I didn't make any headway in my own recovery when I was comparing myself to anyone else, trying to follow a time table or make myself feel other than I felt.

best to you

keithj

I was recently taking a mental inventory of how I'm spending my time, and I obviously had to consider how much of my time goes into AA (meetings or otherwise). In this brief little consideration, I quickly had the powerful realization that if it came down to it, I would gladly give up all the meetings and other service work in favor of regularly meeting with new guys for 12th Step work. I mean, I neither want to nor have to give up the other stuff, but I know that the other stuff is just other stuff. The real heart of the program for me is giving freely to others that life changing experience that I was given through the Steps.

The funny part is, that when I'm engaged in solid 12th Step work, staying involved with meetings and service seems like an opportunity instead of a burden. When my own spiritual condition is solid through continued practice of the program, it's not so much about what I'm getting out of AA, but more about what I'm giving to it.