I know I need help
 

I dunno why I'm posting really, I've been on this site on and off long enough to know all the responses/replies I'm likely to get.

But I need to reach out to someone, have no one here and feeling so so lonely, afraid and useless:-(

I have loads of RL problems I'm either ignoring, dealing with tomorrow (tomorrow never comes) I'm not living, just existing :-(

I was going to say I don't even know where to start, but the obvious one and the one you all will say is to stop drinking, but my alcoholism is so bad now I get to scared to just stop. I don't even get drunk, I'm just living this non life. I wish I could just wake up and feel normal :-(

How about finding a facility where you can detox under medically supervision. Once you are past the dangers of quitting, you can address staying sober and recovering the life you've lost to drinking.

I agree with Carl. And then you can start working on you. Your RL problems will fall into place because you will be able to deal with them.

I agree too, I would be more than willing to go, however I have a 3 year old with special needs, she can't talk and won't go near anyone but me, even her dad can't understand what she wants :-/ my mum could have possibly coped with her, though that's debatable, but not even an option now as she fell down last week (she's 70) and had to have an operation and now I'm having to care for her too as she is housebound and I have to go there twice a day to give her injections and to see to her needs.

I know people will say that's just excuses, but seriously I can't see how I can just up and leave them with no one :-(

It's ok I'm just having a bad day, like I said dunno why I posted really, nothing anyone can do, just feeling alone with it all.

You're not totally alone, Roomy.

Are you currently free of the drink?

I find that once it's been taken away, there is an acute sense of loneliness - and I'm married with two kids, so god knows there's no reason to feel lonely, but I am, and that's all there is to it.

I'm still waiting to find a away out of this that does NOT involve alcohol. I'm not about to pick up as I know it won't help. Maybe you are just waiting for something to come along and pick you up?

I'm feeling unwell at the moment, so that doesn't help, but it should get better soon enough.

Just hold on there as long as you can.

Life can be pretty boring.

I won't call it an excuse. It is a situation that is making it more difficult to address your issue. But it's not insurmountable. I wasn't suggesting 90 days rehab. Detox would be a couple of days.

There are ways to detox at home, but the alcoholic is rarely the one in the best position to oversee their own withdrawals.

Again, I understand your concerns, but your little girl has a father who can look after her for the few days it will take for you to get the alcohol out of your system, safely.

Your little girl needs a sober mom. Sooner the better. Take care.

Excuses or not, now is the time to help your daughter to learn to become reliant on people other than you. Perhaps this is why you posted here? You're carrying around an unnecessarily enormous burden. With or without alcohol, you won't be around to care for her forever, and you may fall ill or become injured due to your drinking or as a result of the natural course of things in life. Add to this that your daughter is going to need to grow into being with other people at some time in her life, and the sooner the better. The existing pattern only gets increasingly difficult to change as she grows older. Her relying on you exclusively -- and you're at least suggesting this in your comments -- is not healthy for either of you.

What better reason to help your daughter become less reliant on you and more independent (even if she's just taking baby steps at first) than for you to get sober and start to heal?

Now is the time.

Just an update really, didn't want to start a new thread, just needed to "talk" again. I've been trying to taper, I know I know, it's to hard etc but I've done it before I can do it again. Admittedly it's frigging hard and it goes wrong once or twice usually, but I get there in the end! I had 28 days last month! Just got to get to that point again.

I have to take my mum back to hospital tomorrow, hopefully they say she can start standing on her leg. That will help, she's getting depressed stuck in a chair at home all day, but who wouldn't??

Also have a meeting/event Thursday, it's a pre course type thing, basically a two hour talk about how to interact with your non communicative child, if you think it will help you sign up for a 12 week course, It is the Hanen course? anyone in the uk know about it? Not sure what to expect or whether it's worth going?

Anyways, rambling, just wanted to let peeps know I Am working on stuff. Not just posting and running like I usually do.

would you consider joining the November group Room?
a supportive group and regular check-ins can help I think?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2013-a-3.html

D

I'm very glad to see you back again, no matter what. :hug: I'm sorry for all that's going on in your life - but happy you reached out. You are never alone.