Drinking was my solution
 

Drinking was my solution to everything to me. I used it to manage my entire life – both in good times and difficult time. I used drinking to dream & think creative. I thought my vision was better because I could let go of the worries and anxiety of the day and get my mind into another world. I loved my thinking when I was becoming intoxicated.


Thanks to God, I hit a point when drinking really became ineffective in so many ways. Problems piled up as a result. My creative thinking while drinking wasn’t working like used to be. I couldn’t hit that sweet spot anymore; so I thought the booze wasn’t working its magic so I would just drinking faster and harder which didn’t work either.


In the rooms of AA it talks about “1 day at a time” or “just for today”. This helps and make even more sense as I get some sober time under me. Someone said once not to confuse a bad day for a bad life and living in the moment and today helps me focus on not taking on worries of the past or future.

Although this “one day at a time” help, it is also helpful to review the past & dream about the future.

The past can be helpful particularly when helping someone else because you can use your past experiences both negative and positive to help someone going through the same in the present. Dwelling on past mistakes to a point of having an impact on your self-worth can be extremely dangerous though.

In terms of the future, for me anyway...having dreams and a vision on where I want to be is very helpful. When I think of the person I want to become, it helps me understand why I need to be put in the work today...particularly when it comes to recovery. Worrying about the future is another waste of time and again can be very dangerous.

Hi Rowd, I didn't need an excuse to drink years ago, good day bad day, stressed, happy all excuses for me. Then I didn't need a n excuse it became a daily prop from home every day when I got home from work.
I'm so pleased I don't have that prop now, and for now I'm trying to enjoy the precious present, get my strength and confidence built up and look forward to a sober future.

it was my temporary solution that lasted 2 and half years

Same here. For 25 years I drank everyday, it was just what I did.

Countless times I would be sitting there, forcing a beer down and thinking "I don't even feel like drinking".

But like eating, breathing and everything else one needs to do to function, somehow alcohol entered into that list. I am so glad I wised up.

Hi. For me it came on very gradually over a # of years. I've always been a compulsive personality with most things and usually when I drank it was too much, fortunately that wasn't very often but gradually increased and the problem was I didn't know what I didn't know until I couldn't stop the daily addiction.
Fortunately with the help from the people in AA I can now be grateful for so much now after a lot of years of practice. BE WELL

I drank and drugged to "deal" with my fears and feelings. (or rather to NOT deal with them)

I call it my magic band aid theory.

I had a hurt. So I put a band aid on it. The band aid didn't fix it, so I thought "Hey, better add another band aid"

hundreds of band aids didn't fix it, Thousands of band aids...didn't fix it.

turned out I needed surgery.

Take off the band aids, address the real issue.

Finally got relief.

I just got tired of it .

Simple , I know , just tired of it

I had turned my will and my life over the care of alcohol. Alcohol was my higher power. Today I have a higher power that wants me to live not one that wants me to die. When I was drinking I lived a day at a time. I could drink away the past, the consequences of tomorrow and not happened yet, and as long as I was drunk today glife was good. In my sober life I've learned how to deal with the wreckage of the past, live in the day, and let my higher power take care of tomorrow.

Well since I quit drinking 96 days ago, I can't believe how good I feel. I am anxiety free and feel like I am human again.

When drinking I was so out of it all the time - even when I would stop drinking for 3 or 4 days I was still out of it so I figured it wasn't the alcohol messing up my mind.

It took a good month or so after my last drink to truly "sober up" and everyday I get better and better and am back to my old self.

I can actually sit and relax without feeling like jumping out of my skin and I can keep my mind on what I am doing without anxious thoughts creeping in every other minute.

I used to drink everyday as soon as i got off work changed and go out. I look back now and think i wasted so much time and money. i couldnt function id have to leave my car since i had some amazing friends who looked after me. id lose my phone usually in the parking lots. then id feel like poo the next day at work start feeling better when i left and id do it all over again. i sure wish i can go back in time and change things but its all a learning experience right. ever think about all the money wasted on alcohol and drugs and what you could buy yourself instead?

I shudder to think what we've spent on this rubbish. I spent many years lining the pockets of people who produced and sold cigarettes - only to have a heart attack and now have to live with the consequences of THAT habit.

I don't want to die knowing that I also lined the pockets of other leeches who produce and flog alcohol.

I didnt mean for it to me like that. im sorry to upset you and im sorry that that happpened to you.

I drank everyday for 25 years. I probably spent at least $200,000 on liquor alone.

Drinking at home cost up to $100 a week; when I used to go to the bars I spent anywhere from $25 to $75 per day.

This also led to addition spending like eating expensive take out food, gambling, and impulse spending like buying the bar a round of drinks or buying women drinks to try to get sex.

I DID IT !!!! - 96 DAYS SOBER as of 11-1-13

Congrats!

congratulations Rowd :)

D

Hi rowd, nice post. Hugs. :ring

Thanks Row!
That's really good stuff esp the line on dwelling on past mistakes. The Lord's really helped me in that regard big time but I blew it in Sept & even tho I have Phil3:13 as one of favorite memory verses, I seem to have it on my mind most of the time!! No I didn't pick up a drink, got locked up & it's really affected me badly
So any words of wisdom would surely help
But I will surely sleep better after reading post

Thank you for the post!