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Lost my dream job, made a fool of myself?

Old 11-01-2013, 11:04 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Blueeyes

i did many tests on people like you described. the test you took i am positive that is a tox screen looking for common drugs. but some of them do not look for alcohol.
i think you have rights after reading this. i would look into them if i was you. if they terminated you for "smelling like alcohol" and did not test you, in my view that is wrong and i would look into that.
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:45 PM
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Depends on the state. My state is a "Right to work" state, so they can terminate pretty easily. If you are a temp, they have the right to tell the temp agency they don't want you back for any any reason.

If they think you are intoxicated they have the right and responsibility to ask you to leave, without much explanation. Permanently terminating your employment is another issue. Anti seizure medication shouldn't make a drug screen pop positive.

Tough break for you. Where is your part in what happened?
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Old 11-01-2013, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by behindblueyes View Post
They didnt have to be so mean about it. They ripped my badge off of me and took everything I had. I was nice and handed over my belongings. I was crying and instead of saying anything reassuring they just said get out. Then I collapsed in tears outside at my moms car and they watched. Like come on. You're watching someone get their career ruined and the one girl just said "take care". They didnt even give me a warning. Nothing. Just get out. I am sick and disgusted. I want my level back because I wasn't drunk.
Honey, you sound so young and I am truly sorry they were mean to you **{hug}}.
That being said, let it be a harsh lesson about the real world: No one respect a drunk and alcoholics tend to be humiliated and abused a lot.
Whether or not you were intoxicated is really not relevant, they smelt alcohol on you and decided they did not want a drunk working for them.
Since you were a temp, there is not much you can do about it legally but what you can do is get up, brush yourself off and use this as a wake up call and a reason to get sober. If you keep on drinking, far worst things will eventually happen to you.
Why don't you join us at the 24 hours club and commit with us to stay clean and sober for the next 24 hours?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-join-us.html
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Old 11-01-2013, 01:20 PM
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You got sober and then you got fired for smelling like alcohol. And then you drank. Right? I don't imagine that drinking helps.

I was fired from three out of the four jobs I had during my three-year relapse due to drinking. (Or was it four out of five?) Three (or four) of them were at major university/hospital research centers. The remaining job was working in a group practice, where I was sane enough to leave before it got out of hand. Totally humiliating in each case, particularly letting go of my patients, but it was the thing to do. I ended up working a minimum-wage, dead-end job so that I could drink around the clock. And then got fired again.

Burned and buried a lot of bridges in the process, and it's taken a great deal of time and effort to get back to working in my field. Today, I couldn't be happier.

It always sucks when you're asked or told to leave, more so when it's due to our drinking and/or our drinking behaviors.

Life has given you an opportunity. What happens next is up to you.
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Old 11-01-2013, 05:41 PM
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I'm sorry you lost your job. I hope you can recover your sobriety. With that I'm sure you can find a way to land on your feet.

I also wanted to say I love your alias, BehindBlueEyes. That was my favorite song for many years and is possibly the best musical description of addiction that I have ever heard. There are numerous stories about what it's "really" about but it summed up my feelings of anger, loneliness and alienation as an addict (who happens to have blue eyes). For those who don't know it, here's a link:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfuWXRZe9yA

and here are the lyrics:


No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
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Old 11-01-2013, 06:59 PM
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Sounds like you could use a hug. That was really rotten the way everything went down. I'm sorry to hear it, and it sounds like the experience really hurt you. Just reading your posts, it made me feel a bit of that pain too.

A lot of us have lost jobs directly or indirectly to alcohol or drug abuse. In some cases it's fair, in other cases it's not. I actually quit my job before I lost it, but it was in the mail. It was humiliating the way I left, I basically slunk out and just stopped going into the office while I drank away all the bad feelings. I felt so underappreciated, much like others here who helped a company grow from the ground up...only to leave in shame after a few bad decisions and changes in management, etc.

It's okay to grieve for this loss. But it might not be particularly productive to try and start looking into your legal rights. Alcoholics have to learn to let go of the past and embrace the present - look at where you are now, not where you were yesterday. Take a sober weekend, stick close to safe zones and enjoy some simple things. Rest. Breathe. Cry if you need to.

Maybe this week you can start looking up other opportunities, and start enjoying the process of finding out where you might end up next. Good luck with everything, it will be okay, just try and stay positive and remember that you can do this - many of us have! All the best.
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Old 11-01-2013, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by behindblueyes View Post
As some of you guys know I have a software degree.

I took a great job a GNC. I was doing really well. I hadn't drank in months. I was picking up and becoming one of the top persons to fill orders in the warehouse.

I went out last night. I had been sober two months, absolutely no alcohol. None.

Someone mentioned when I started my shift at 10:00AM I smelled like beer from the night before. I was a temp. My boss decided this should be the day he puts me in front of all HR crew and has me drug tested. I DO NO DRUGS.I am on epillptic meds. I drank the night before.

Some girl on my team who isn't as high up in hours in GNC called me out for drinkng the night before. She called me a drunk. She said I smell like alcohol. I drank the night before but honestly (and this is EXACTLY WHAT I TOLD HR( I dont know how much.

I was stripped of all my badges. I was kicked out. I was fired. I was told i needed a ride. My mom had to drive an hour down there. I was told never come back. The drug test will come back in three days. My job is gone. GNC is a horrible company. I wasn't even drunk. Do I have any rights? I am a single mom. They all said they smelled alcohol on me and fired me on the spot. Help? Thanks.
The only thing ahead is a BETTER work enviroment for you, because things
that aren't right for us, will go right out and tell us that. It's not just the fact that, you weren't right for them. You dodged a bullet. But you feel hurt I'd imagine right now, so that will distort your thinking until you heal. Then you will be left saying, "Wow, things DO happen for the better. I thought people were just sparing me the bull's sh*t, but they were being honest."
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Old 11-02-2013, 12:01 AM
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I've actually got to go to my head office on Monday afternoon for a disciplinary meeting with HR.
I went back to work last Tuesday after being signed off for two weeks due to alcohol/possible seizures.

I've spoken to my boss several times already and she said I won't be sacked, but you never know.
I've worked at the company for 14 years and if I was sacked or left, they would have to shut down the entire regional office as it would leave just one full time member of staff, the other four are all part time.
So basically, five other people lose their jobs if I go.
So thinking logically, it puts me in a fairly 'good' position, but as I said you never know.

When I was off I was stressing to the point of being sick about it, but then I just thought 'what is the worst thing that can happen?'.
I get sacked.
Is that the end of the world? Hell no.
My main focus is to just get myself healthy, kick alcohol out of my life for good (i'm on day 20 now) and rebuild.
I'm determined not to lose sleep over it, what's done is done, it can't be changed, so you just have to focus on the future. If that future involves looking for another job, then so be it.
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Old 11-02-2013, 12:18 AM
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Sounds like you have a good attitude. No point in worrying. Worry is wasted emotions, in my opinion.

My youngest daughter is a worry wart. She worries about stuff that has already happened...like she would worry about a test she took already. I would say...the last thing to worry about is something that has already happened. You cannot change the past.

I also used to tell her...quit worrying so much. It's not they're going to take out a gun and shoot you.
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:23 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I worry and beat myself up so much. I have not been out of bed and went an entire day with no food. I didn't drink but didn't want to face what happened was true. I am up for the first time very early. The time I would get ready for work. I wake up, panic about it and humiliation sets in, then I go back to bed. That cycle repeated for 30 hours.

People saw me crying and that place is full of gossip so I know my name is being drug thru the mud. It didn't help that I was escorted out like a criminal and humiliated which I think is the worst. I just don't want anyone talking about me or remembering me this way. I am confused by the fact that I was told I would be sent home for the day then all the sudden I had my badge and everything taken off me. I wouldn't really want to go back but it took me months to find this job. Yes it was my dream job because I was getting physically fit and losing weight plus it was just full of positive people. I loved going in there.
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:34 AM
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Thanks for all the help. I just don't know why I react to things this way. I know I will spend today in bed also and won't move. The only reason I was up is to take my medicine. I have always been like this since I was little.. I can't just get up and start over like normal people.
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Old 11-02-2013, 05:32 AM
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Yeah, I understand it's not that easy to find a job. It's not like you can just "get another job" these days with no effort. This whole thing was not only embarrassing, but it also put you in a tight spot. There's no way around it, this was a bad experience.

We all grieve in different ways and if you stay in bed all day there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of folks would do the same. You don't need to get back on the horse right away - it will be alright, though yeah it's tough to see that now.

One tiny thing to remember is the role alcohol played in this. You were sober for 2 months, and enjoying work. You broke your sobriety, went out and got wasted and the next day you were fired. Coincidence? Maybe. But perhaps there was more to your drunken evening than you know? And if not - maybe you should just take this as a sign. Maybe this is a good time to focus on sobriety? Are you 100% clean from all prescription drugs, and alcohol? Do you have a way to work on this?
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Old 11-02-2013, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by behindblueyes View Post
I worry and beat myself up so much. I have not been out of bed and went an entire day with no food. I didn't drink but didn't want to face what happened was true. I am up for the first time very early. The time I would get ready for work. I wake up, panic about it and humiliation sets in, then I go back to bed. That cycle repeated for 30 hours.

People saw me crying and that place is full of gossip so I know my name is being drug thru the mud. It didn't help that I was escorted out like a criminal and humiliated which I think is the worst. I just don't want anyone talking about me or remembering me this way. I am confused by the fact that I was told I would be sent home for the day then all the sudden I had my badge and everything taken off me. I wouldn't really want to go back but it took me months to find this job. Yes it was my dream job because I was getting physically fit and losing weight plus it was just full of positive people. I loved going in there.
No sense in beating yourself up. Unexpected things happen in life whether fair or not you just have to pick yourself up, dust off and move on.

I worked my butt off for this Banquet hall for the entire Spring season one year and just when it slowed down they laid me off. I was salaried and they knew they would have to pay me to sit home half the week in the summer. The unfairness was, I worked 70 to 80 hour weeks when it was busy and only got paid 40 hour checks. I figured only fair to work 20 to 30 hour weeks for a while and recoup. They thought otherwise as all shrew business people think.

I immediately called an old Chef buddy and was working again before I could even collect. The moral here is that I didn't let the jerk who laid me off get me down, I knew he was wrong but I just moved forward instead of dwelling.

You need to try to do the same now, get up and get out. Enjoy the day and browse around town for places you might like to inquire for employment.

As I said in the last post, they don't deserve you and you deserve better.
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Old 11-15-2013, 07:46 AM
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I feel your pain...but....as a temp you have no recourse. Our continued use of drugs/alcohol can and WILL ruin our careers, our relationships, our health and maybe even take our life. The only way we prevent that from happening is to get clean & sober and stay clean & sober. For the rest of our life! It' not worth messing up our life's just so we can have our drink or our drug. So sorry Good luck to you.
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Old 11-15-2013, 08:25 AM
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So, BBE, why would someone who has not drank for a couple months and got their life back on track to some extent, suddenly got out and get hammered?

It's a question I asked myself a hundred times. It's also a question that AA's Big Book describes as the 'real' problem with the alcoholic. It was (somewhat) easy for me to quit when the pressure was on. Staying quit was a whole other deal. I found exactly what those first AAers found, and it's led to many years of contented sobriety.

"After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery."

quote aabb1st
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Old 11-15-2013, 07:32 PM
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Oh, the consequences of relapse. Been there, done that, lost a lot.
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Old 11-15-2013, 07:58 PM
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You say it was fun and full of positive people? Yet you worry they are dragging your name through the mud? Really? Which is it? Love/Hate relationship - sounds like a crappy place to work with the walk of shame scenario. Things happen for a reason, we just don't see it at the time. Met a woman once who was diagnosed with breast cancer - she was so upset and had to get surgery. During the surgery they found out she had advanced lung cancer (which caused the breast cancer). If they hadn't found the breast cancer - she would have died. She survived - and was glad to have a breast cancer diagnosis. Maybe God is trying to give you a wakeup call. Losing a job from your drinking might be the push you need to stop finally - before something WORSE happens ....................there is worse and lower bottoms with alcohol.
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Old 11-15-2013, 08:09 PM
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You said you are a single mom and yet you spent the entire day in bed? Who is taking care of your children?
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:27 PM
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Forget them.

I had an interview with GNC not long ago that lasted all of 45 seconds. I figured she took an instant dislike to me or something.

Two weeks later she calls me and asks if I'd like to come for an interview. I told her I already had and she made the excuse that she'd lost all her paperwork on past interviews and was starting over.

What kind of company keeps people around like that? I wouldn't work for them ever.
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