BackToSquareOne

Something thats rarely talked about is the ability to pick up the pieces and restart a sober all the time life. As I was getting older, after many prior attempts and starting over cycles the ability to keep doing that was growing very thin.

The very desire to start over after a bad drinking cycle was beginning to slip away. This scared the hell out me as when one reaches that point the next stop is death. What I mean by that is it takes a certain amount of drive, will power and desire to restart a sober all the time life again and again. I often wonder how many times a person can do that until there's no desire left?

Mountainmanbob

"sweet spot"
never thought of it that way
but
I think that you have hit on something there
as I look back to this last time getting sober
all the ducks were in a row

I had deceived myself regarding drinking for the last time
my contact with God was weak
the wife was disappointed, scared and _issed off
neighbors wanted me out of the area
Sponsor wondered why I did not call him
for this getting older guy the courts had my butt yet one more time
Pastor at church said that "he thought that he knew me better"
could not see straight due to blackouts

the list could go on for a while more

very grateful to be sober today at 62 years old
and yes
when I die and meet my maker I wish to show up sober

MM

Boleo

I suspect I would have had a harder time accepting the idea of surrender when I was younger. I would have certainly done a lot more of you might call "exploring my options".

I explored my options for 3 years as it was and it darn near killed me.

Muns

Age carries more opportunities at life experience, In my case that meant more days for drinking to excess. Which resulted in more hangovers and worse hangovers as time passed. At 40 I was tired of being tired everyday. This is where the maturity comes into play. I looked up and realized I was making choices that no longer fit who or where I want to be in life. That realization along with urging / support from my wife led me to say enough and at 9 days sober I'm without regret.

RobbyRobot

I think both age and maturity matter, in fact in my experience they are essentially linked to my now being recovered. I started seriously drinking at 12 - not just some drinks here and there - and by 15 I was a total alcoholic down and out street-wise loser. By 20ish I was in a mental hospital, and stint in jail, and by 24 I was in a rehab at the end of my rope a totally lost case and hot mess.

Alcohol seriously mind-fu cked me having started at such an early age. I threw in the towel by 15 but my addictions and lousy lifestyle to alcohol/drugs kept me dying for another 9 years. There are worse things then physically dying I can tell you that in all honesty, and when you want to suicide before your even a middle teenager then, yeah, age and maturity have everything to do with a persons ability to quit. I kept abusing during those 9 years because alcohol was the working solution which worked best for me. Quitting seemed worse. That is royally fu cked up and shows how lost I really was. In the end at 24 it was either quit drinking or die drunk as my choices were all done and gone. I couldn't have cared less about sobriety - I just didn't want to die drunk. I suppose at the very end not wanting to be a dead drunk finally won over and in that sense that day I could have been any age and I still would have been successful in my quit.

It took a long time for me to care enough about my sorry life to want to not die as a drunk. And I wasn't even yet 25 years old. Wow. I look back now being 56 years old and I just am absolutely filled with gratitude for making the right choice back when. My cup runneth over everyday now.

Its good to be alive and free.

Doug39

Well like I have said before, one of the hardest things about giving up drinking is that I feel like I am giving up my youth.

I enjoyed going to bars, wineries, parties, etc. I enjoy excessive behaviour - be is sex, gambling, eating, drinking - whatever.

So by saying I will never drink again it is like saying the "fun young me" is dead.

I will admit that trying to live that lifestyle and do all those things at my age became pathetic, boring and painful - but it is so hard to let go.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, I "let go" in my youth, and surprise, my addiction kept me going anyways. I lied to myself that it was difficult to quit. Really, I didn't face up to my being addicted - I justified myself out of being responsible by believing it was so hard to give up what was solving my problems.

Party on, I always said.

Man, I was sooo dead wrong.

LadyBlue0527

Agreed, the day I walked into a bar and realized that I looked like I was everyone's mother I knew that day was over for me. That and questioning if every other person who was in the bar was legal to be there. I knew it was time to go home.

I am also in agreement about it being easier as you get older.

Leadfoot

I'm trying to think of people I know with long term sobriety that quit in their twentys. The list has some people on it but it's pretty short when compared to everyone I remember trying to quit in their twentys. Me being one that tried several times to quit. I had the attitude that said I was much to young.

CousinA

I got here when I was 22 and the last year of my drinking damn near killed me. Some of the "highlights" - I was living on a park bench, went into respiratory arrest and turned blue and alienated just about everyone who cared about me.

Came a day when none of the above scared me. What did was the thought of not drinking and I had that moment of grace and knew I had run out of options. I haven't found it necessary to have a drink since.

It wasn't easy getting sober at 22. I don't think it's easy at any age. I was speaking with an old friend after my meeting this morning who got sober at 25. her partner when she was 43. We get it when we get it.

-allan

Doug39

My wife's 50 year old drunken friend still thinks she is the hottest chick in the bar - but she is really just loud and obnoxious. I spent so many times at bars with her and watched as she would get made fun off by young people.
She is so pathetic - and is totally clueless that she looks a mess.

el9292

I am 21 and have been sober for 6 months - I think there are differences in sobriety for certain ages. For example, being sober in college can be rough because everyone around you is at bars and drinking, it's hard to escape.

Db1105

Stopping drinking for an alcoholic is hard no matter what age you are. I quit at 17. At the rate I was going I never would of lived to make 20.

I was very fortunate to come into the fellowship where there were quite a few people my own age. We did everything together. There were usual a gang of us that went to bars to hear a band, concerts, parties, and the like. We rented beach houses for the summer, and rented houses of got rooms for ski trips in the winter. We traveled to different cities for meetings, or just hung out at someone's house for game or movie nights. We never lacked any kind of social activity because a lot of us were up to doing stuff to have have.

You have a choice. You can sit and pout because you can't drink, or you can take advantage of this great opportunity to start living. My Higher Power gave me a second chance, it's up to me to make the most out of it.

Grungehead

I quit for 7 years at age 29. I quit for 7 years at age 37. I quit 6.5 months ago at age 52. I have found it more difficult to quit each time, but I believe that is because my disease/illness has continued to progress and has little to do with my age bracket. I think different age brackets may face unique challenges, but I think once you have passed the line into alcoholic drinking it's going to be a challenge to quit no matter what.