IOAA2

Hi all. It's a rainy chilled day where I'm located but I know the sun is warm above the clouds. It saddens me to read about so many people having so much difficulty staying sober here and other spots. What do you think are the reasons in your experiences. By long term I mean more than a couple years but depends on your years trying should be considered also.
A few of mine: I didn't think I was that bad, I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober, that hasn't happened to me, I was afraid of losing a good friend, I was afraid of the unknown, I didn't know how to handle what many took in stride, I needed it to cope with my daily stresses,
and then my life became unmanageable due to all the drinking and then slowly great when I started doing the work involved to get and stay sober.

I'm from the old school and consider sober not drinking and thinking and reacting in a healthy manner. Dry to me is acting and reacting like we were drinking. JMO BE WELL

dwtbd

I'm autodidactic and consider sober to be the lack of intoxication. If you end an addiction to intoxication , or any form, you are 'sober'. Is chronic happiness endemic to the human species? I doubt it, absent an addiction we are all in the same boat.

I know I was addicted to alcohol.

I am fairly sure I am in danger of becoming addicted again, if I choose to drink even 'small' or 'moderate' amounts of alcohol. Therefore I am resolved to not drink alcohol.

In the 'big' picture drinking is a very 'small' part of life. The bigger parts are true happiness , health , productiveness and everything that makes life worth living. Learning how to do all those things is the same for everyone. Some may need help to see how to get there , or have problems they need help to resolve, but sometimes it is really just realizing that you have to try harder. But I think this applies to all people: those who were once addicted and those who may never have been. I do not think there is a difference in regards happiness , other than those who were addicted knowing they can not self intoxicate without risking addiction, again.

MIRecovery

I can only speak to my own experience. I tried to quit for over 20 years at least that is what I say. In reality I wanted to know how to control my drinking. Until death was eminent

I was unwilling or unable to grasp the concept that I could never drink again. I had multiple people tell me both professional and lay that a lifetime of absence was essential.

I just discounted those people because that meant I would have to quit drinking. I even stayed sober onces for 6 years but the thought that I could never drinking again its not on the radar screen

For me staying sober required me to rebuild my life not repair my old drinking life. I had to replace all of the old habits with new ones. I had to learn how to be happy again without alcohol. I had to honestly look at my life and repair the pieces that need to be fixed.

LadyBlue0527

That line really speaks volumes to me. I try so hard to understand what it is that I did this time that seems to be working as opposed to previous times. I'm pretty sure that quote feeds right into what was wrong before.

Every time that I made a commitment "yup, this is it. I'm done, no more, nada", I think I knew in my own head even as I spoke the words that there would come a day that I would drink again. I didn't know the circumstances of when and how but in the depths of my mind I knew I wasn't done.

I can only equate it to the fact that prior attempts were because someone else wanted me to or because I felt that I "had to". This was also at the points that I thought were my lowest of lows.

This time nothing major had happened but yet another verbal altercation with my husband. I knew divorce papers were coming and really, to tell you the truth, I didn't care. I could think of lots of reasons to be single, one being no one to bit&* about my drinking anymore. Free reign of alcohol.

Something struck me on the morning of May 27th. I don't know if it was an awakening but it didn't really involve anyone but me. I was completely alone and just really thought about my life and who I was. I had to admit to myself that it all wasn't worth it anymore. Life pretty much sucked whether I was drinking or not. I knew that I was done. I hated me.

Did I crave? Sure, however, one thing that has never faltered since that day has been my determination to not take that first drink, no matter how harmless or how good it looks. No excuses. I know when I'm trying to lie to myself, I can see it coming. I just wave it off and give it the hand. Not happening!

IOAA2

[QUOTE=LadyBlue0527;4266719]Something struck me on the morning of May 27th. I don't know if it was an awakening but it didn't really involve anyone but me. I was completely alone and just really thought about my life and who I was. I had to admit to myself that it all wasn't worth it anymore. Life pretty much sucked whether I was drinking or not. I knew that I was done. I hated me.

[U]Did I crave? Sure, however, one thing that has never faltered since that day has been my determination to not take that first drink, no matter how harmless or how good it looks. No excuses. I know when I'm trying to lie to myself, I can see it coming. I just wave it off and give it the hand. Not happening QUOTE]

To me that's the way it works, resolve, honesty and work one day at a time and after a certain time we are grateful and learn new ways. BE WELL.

LadyBlue0527

Sometimes it's pretty hard too, even overwhelming. However, for each time that you get past that craving the sobriety legs get stronger. Once again too, I have NEVER regretted not drinking. Not once.

Doug39

Over the last 25 years of drinking everyday, I never tried to quit drinking forever. Sure I tried to slow down countless times but I always wanted to be a drinker.

Today I am sober 94 days and I still have the thoughts in my mind everyday that "someday I will drink again" - and it irritates me.

I feel so good sober, I don't want to go back to the anxieties and hangovers but I just can't shake the feeling that someday "I could handle it".

thisisme

I found dealing with Life's issues, many created by drinking, in some ways harder than sobriety. Facing problems instead of drinking them away is a hard lesson but when you get that down you should be good to go.
Realizing that alcohol does nothing and takes all was a life changing moment. It certainly put me in the mindset of "I will never drink alcohol again".

Boleo

I can relate to that. In the long run - short term goals were my biggest enemy.