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Doggie power.??

Old 06-07-2004, 03:10 PM
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Choosing Life
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Doggie power.??

I thought I would share this, as it was quite a moving moment for me today.

I've been out working building fences, something I'm new to, but good stuff. Anyway we finished today at 1pm - got home, and the whispers started. Thought to myself, must get out, take dog for a walk. I do this 9 mile walk which is a big circular walk from my place.

Soon as I'm outside it starts in my head .....

"What is all this ******** with the AA .??"

I pull myself back and say to myself - hang on mate - I want to get better.

But my mind is off ......

You're a tosser if you can't drink
You like a drink
Get out this afternoon and have a good **** up (booze up) etc etc.

I'm getting really really frantic with this knot in my stomach, this row going on in my head. I'm at that point - pass or fail. Knife edge stuff - one more resentment or bit of anger and I think I would have cracked. This goes on for about two miles, and we get to a spot where Boo-boo (my boxer) always scampers down a bank to get a drink from the stream and bounce around in the water for a bit. I'm standing on the top of the bank - just about to say F*ck it, I'm going for a beer.

She comes back up and looks at me as if to say "What's up bud.??". Well it hits me straight between the eyes (or ears).

I was going to go home, drop the dog off, wash, change, get money, get cab, sit in a bar and drink myself into oblivion (as I always have, and always will do if I drink) when there is something as simple to enjoy as a dog having fun in a stream, on a beautiful day, in gorgeous countryside, surrounded by nature everywhere ......... killed that drinking thought stone dead.

I don't know exactly what happened today, but just that simple scene saved my butt. I am so grateful to have been there at that point to shut up that side of me which in all honesty, probably would have had a drink.

I’m putting that one in the ammo pouch for when I start making offers to myself that are very difficult to refuse.

I’m going to a meeting tomorrow night too.

Much love

JC
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Old 06-07-2004, 03:15 PM
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Dan
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Originally Posted by JaySee

I was going to go home, drop the dog off, wash, change, get money, get cab, sit in a bar and drink myself into oblivion (as I always have, and always will do if I drink) when there is something as simple to enjoy as a dog having fun in a stream, on a beautiful day, in gorgeous countryside, surrounded by nature everywhere ......... killed that drinking thought stone dead.


I’m putting that one in the ammo pouch for when I start making offers to myself that are very difficult to refuse.
JC
Tears mate...
Tears. Thanks for sharing JC.
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Old 06-07-2004, 03:49 PM
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Yep, you got me....right here :heart:

Bravo.....
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Old 06-07-2004, 04:46 PM
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Smile (((((Jay)))))

So glad for this thread. I've battled those whispers today too...warm and muggy out, a beer drinking day, so it's a big trigger. And guess what my little puppy saved my day too, gave him his first bath, took my mind off my demon who's been poking at me, I can feel him, and don't want to dance with him anymore, he likes me so sick. So booted him to the curb, and looked my puppy in the eyes, and gave him the love back that I feel from him.

Jay thanks again for this, and I'm so happy you're getting this too, big big hugs, much love.

A very grateful Denise too.
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Old 06-07-2004, 05:37 PM
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Hey JC
Thanks a million for sharing that, like you and Denise I have struggled today.
My addictive voice keeps telling me to "friggin' have a drink." "you'll feel better, numb" I just have to keep reminding myself how good I have been feeling being sober,I have been able to be truly honest, how much it means to me to have my husband starting to believe in me again, my son is coming this weekend for the summer...yadayadayada...
Your post really touched me...
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Old 06-07-2004, 05:51 PM
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Hi Jay,

Never underestimate the power of our pets. My cat saved me more than once simply by being there and not judging me!

Love, Anna
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Old 06-07-2004, 05:58 PM
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Ahhh JC!! I'm telling you, they do have a sixth sense on stuff like that, glad you went for that walk! *hugs*
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Old 06-07-2004, 07:06 PM
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JC....... that is an amazing story! Thanx You got to love them critters. I know I do.
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Old 06-08-2004, 10:33 AM
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The "unconditional love" of my dog has pulled me back many times from the edge.May you and your dog live a long and healthy life sober.
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