Messedup12

I've just started a post detox recovery programme and met a few people on the course, one man invited me round to have a meal with him and his wife. He seems really nice and i agreed. But then he said they were putting alcohol into the dish which really messed with my head, he also said his wife would be drinking wine, so i cancelled. I feel bad for not going, but if I'd have eaten a meal with alcohol in and been sat with someone drinking wine i think it would of been unwanted temptation, and even though the alcohol would have evaporated like he said i would have felt like i'd of had a substance. We're on an abstinence based programme so i was a bit shocked when he said they were putting alcohol in the meal. Am i cop out or would this have effected anyone else in a similar way?

bob8619

I cook with wine sometimes. I even had fondue at the melting pot and the cheese fondue is mixed with beer.

suki44883

I think you did the wise thing, Messedup. Early recovery is tough and if you thought you might be tempted, it's best to just make your apologies and not go.

Opivotal

I think you made the right decision! I couldn't be around anyone drinking for quite some time. I really wanted to hold onto my sobriety and knew, I didn't have the strength in early recovery, not to cave in.

We have to look out for ourselves and pleasing others wasn't on my menu. I say, good call, Messedup12!

Best Wishes To You!

foolsgold66

The bit about the alcohol cooking out is variable, it really depends. But skipping the meal entirely if you didn't feel comfortable going is what I would call a GREAT decision in early sobriety.

Sudz No More

You did the right thing if you think it would bother you. For many here at SR they consider alcohol in food breaking their sobriety. For me, I was obsessed with drinking and actually tasting straight beer. Cooked in something has never bothered me and I don't consider doing so breaking my sobriety. I am in the minority saying that though, but cooking with wine really does something for certain dishes. I mean, Chicken Marsala without Marsala?

gaudi

I am three years sober and I cook with alcohol. However, you MUST be do what is best for you to keep you sober. I think you did really well to say you wouldn't go. If you feel comfortable saying why then you should just be honest. Especially at the beginning you must do whatever feels right to keep you going in the right direction and not make it any harder than it already is.

LadyinBC

You shouldn't feel bad. Nothing or no one can be more important than my sobriety. It always has to come first. If I don't have than, I won't have anything.

Spinach

Only thing you can do is make sure your comfortable, and I'm sure that's what they understand.
John.

Messedup12

Yeh thanks everyone. It would of been nice to mix with sober people but right now i'm not ready to mix with people who are drinking, i think that would have been putting myself in the path of temptation, so yeh think i did the right thing. Thanks

tomsteve

very wise that when asking "lead me not into temptation" to then walk into it.


good on ya!!

Croissant

It's good you thought it through....there's lots of things we have to be aware of to protect our sobriety. I'm glad you didn't take it lightly.