Embracing sobriety
 

Living sober IS different from living a drinking life. For example, went to dinner last night with hubby and daughter. A really lovely, laid back but fun Italian restaurant serving superb food and lovely ambiance. Had a lovely evening, dropped daughter off to wine bar to meet her friends, home by 10.30. Sitting here thinking to myself, if I'd been out with mates drinking (Friday night!!!), no way would I have been in by 10.30. I would definitely have got home by at least 1.30 am, p....d, just about able to take clothes off for bed, make-up still on, not brushing teeth, yuk, ugh. Wake up with resulting hangover.

My life now is: calmer, more peaceful. I seem to have more hours in the day to do the things I want to do. A different life entirely as before I would spend half the week drinking the other half recuperating. I was also thinking the other day; it's not just heavy drinkers/alcoholics that I don't envy but I don't envy anybody who drinks, even so-called "social drinkers" as in "social smokers" lol, I was one of them too. I don't want to ever drink any alcohol at all, whatsoever. None. Not even "a glass" of wine. I see now even a glass changes people. I don't ever want to feel that feeling again, from slightly tipsy/fuzzy to full blown drunk.

I am embracing sobriety. The quiet times, the reflective times. The utter stressful times when I want to cry with frustration. This is all part of living a feeling human being. It will pass, the stress. I want to work through those feelings without numbing my body and brain with poison. I will never, ever drink again.

I can defiantly attest to this. Friday night here as well, which is usually (especially with the Fall weather) a drink night! Drink Drink Drink Drink! Then wake up, have a hangover from hell and do it all over again.

Instead, I went to a meeting, came home took a nice shower played with my son SOBER (which I'm learning more and more everyday is amazing) and watched some shows on Netflix. It is still hard, the obsession/thoughts are still there...but I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Tonight I just "am" and that feels really really good.

I used to think that I wouldn't be able to enjoy things like dinner out without wine, or a concert in the park without a cocktail, or Sunday Brunch without champagne. But I don't ever even miss it anymore! I love to eat great food and listen to lovely music. Alcohol doesn't enhance these experiences...Alcohol deadens my senses and subtracts from my joy. I don't miss it at all...not one tiny bit.

Yes I can relate too! Tonight I went to an AA Halloween party, dressed up, danced and drank ginger ale, am now home and sober at a reasonable hour, and plan on waking up rested, refreshed and not hung over tomorrow. Awesome.

Oh how I long for these days!

I know they are ahead. Thank you for this post :)

Today I am 90 days sober.

Over the last 3 or 4 years my anxiety and stress have been brutal.

I was in denial that alcohol was causing anxiety and stress because I had been drinking everyday since 1989 and never had a problem.

Well today my anxiety and stress is at an all time low and I am able to think clearly without being drunk or hungover.

My body was screaming for me to stop the madness but I had to hit rock bottom first. Good thing I listened before the booze killed me.

Yeah. It does take a while to get that "caged wild animal" feeling out of your system. Even when you do start participating in more calm activities, there's that alcoholic inside you that is crawling up the walls with boredom/anxiety.

Stay the course. One helpful thing is to build "sober memories", like the one you had tonight. Keep that memory close. Start creating more of them. The more you make, sobriety will become more natural and more peaceful. Thanks for sharing the info about your night!