Arbor

Best of luck with this. Eat well before you go and or during. I'm early in my recovery too. You can't avoid all social situations. Lock yourself up in your house. I play in a band and rocked out last night without drink. Something I would have never done in the past. It was awkward in my own mind. Also felt a lack of confidence in my abilities but had no craving whatsoever to drink those beers in front of me that my band mates were enjoying. They could care less that I wasn't drinking. It was all in my head. I think if you made this decision to be sober and are determined to want it more than anything right now you will make it work. Let us know how it works out.

MattM316

Well, the day is tomorrow!
Got to get the coach at 10.45am, which means I should get to the Emirates by 2pm and it's a 5.30pm kickoff.

Feeling very confident at the moment.

Dee74

Just wondering how this turned out Matt?

D

MattM316

Very good all round!

I got there a bit later because of traffic so I ate, went into the betting shop and stayed in there a while watching the first half scores come in, then went into the pub.....and had a large coke, and then made my way to the stadium
It was nowhere near as difficult as I had expected it to be, any thoughts of 'just have a couple' never stayed in my head more than a couple of seconds, so I'm very happy I got through what I saw as a bit of a challenge.

On top of that, my team Arsenal won and I also won just over £1000 from the bets I placed!

LadyBlue0527

What great news to hear! You did it! On top of that it wasn't nearly as bad as you had expected. Even though that's the case I think it's good that you thought it through, asked for thoughts here, and prepared.

Tis what it's all about

Dee74

glad all went well Matt.

D

MattM316

I haven't got to go up again until the 23rd, so by then I should hopefully be even more confident and more at ease.
I don't want to tempt fate, but it's going well so far at day 21.

StevenT

Congratulations on being able to go into a situation that would have previously put you in a bad spot and being able to get through it sober. That in and of itself is a miracle.

I know that for myself, I avoided this sort of thing for my first 6 months or so. Only recently did I allow myself to be in a situation that would be potentially threatening to my sobriety, and even then there had to be a good reason for it. But I didn't get clean and sober so that I could become a hermit, so living life is something I definitely enjoy today.

Glad to be trudging this road with you

DarkDays

The cravings drink thoughts etc that build up to the event for me in the past have been the worst. Every event I have done sober has honestly been a cruise , yes some events have been good and some very dull being surrounded by drinkers. The whole thing gets easier it really does , but one must be alert to identify the thoughts and the rare really penetrating thoughts.

Well done.

tootsl1

Well done Matt and glad the gunners did it for you!

bigsombrero

Good to hear it went well, Matt.

I'd proceed with caution and perhaps look elsewhere for social opportunities in the coming months. The pub cannot continue to be an option for you. I know it's tough to accept, but there really aren't that many sober folks who spend much time in pubs. I don't think many alcoholics want to admit this to themselves "I have to give up my drink...and now the pub, too?" - it's gut-wrenching.

Early in my sobriety I imagined myself meeting up with friends at the bars. My alcoholic mind even tricked me into thinking it was a good idea. I rationalized: "I'll be sober, and it will be easy for me to pick up girls!" I actually tried it a few times. I'm only human, and just like you I wanted to keep my lifestyle intact.

In the end I found that hanging around bars and pubs was holding me back from completing my next step through sobriety. I had to let it go. And I had to grieve over that loss for a long time. It sucked. But once I finally put it in the rear-view mirror, I was able to move on to the next stage of sobriety.

I am only speaking from experience and just giving my opinion. I am a supporter of yours and think you'll do well if you stick to your plan. And, I should also tell you that I've been to the Arsenal stadium before (I'm American) and wow - what a zoo that was, leaving the game! The lines for the tube were out of control! I did have some great curry nearby. I went to 4 EPL games over a 5-day stretch, saw the home stadiums of Arsenal, Tottenham, Stoke and Man City. I love the EPL and your Gunners look like they have a real goal-scorer there with that Ramsey kid.

Joe Nerv

Didn't read past this post, so I'm sure it's been addressed, but I want to drop my $.02 before being influenced by other responses.

I'm a musician and work in clubs and bars on a regular basis. I don't drink. There's no test. It's not happening. Period. Can it ever happen again? Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I'll have an indicator. I don't believe we're blindsided by alcohol. If I were questioning whether or not there'd be an issue, if I were looking at it as a test, that would be an indicator. That would tell me I'm on shaky ground and I probably wouldn't go. If it was something I HAD to do, I would bring a huge bag of tools and throw my pride out the window. I'd make sure I had people I could talk to on the phone if needed, I'd have stuff to read, I'd find an AA meeting in the area, and yes... I'd even sit in that mcdonalds by myself drinking coffee and playing games on my phone. If that's what I had to do.

12 days is a very short time away from a drink. Took me 3 months before I went anywhere near a bar when I got sober, and when I did actually enter the one I used to hang out in, I stayed about 10 minutes. Didn't return to any drinking establishments until I was sober over a year.

Sobriety was important enough to me to make it my #1 priority. Alcohol is one powerful emmer effer, and if we really have a problem with it, I don't believe we're going to beat that problem unless we give sobriety everything we've got. Sitting in a bar with 2 weeks sober isn't the wisest choice for someone in your position, season ticket or not. I gave up music completely for my first year sober, and the rewards I reaped over the next 28 years because I did that are immeasurable. Small sacrifices in the beginning yield huge and unimaginable gains over time.

I'd think about this one carefully if you really want to start living a sober life.

[edit] Just read the rest of the thread. Glad it went well, yet still stand by what I said, so I'm not deleting or editing it. I believe you are playing with fire.

MattM316

I actually don't go out to bars or pubs that often at all, most of my drinking was done at home and I'm just not a fan of packed and crowdy places like that.
I only tended to go out when there was a point to it, not just for the sake of going out like many do.

I've got a season ticket at Arsenal so i'm there pretty much every other week, and yeah it is always quite chaotic after the game, i'm glad I just get on a coach and not the tube!

MattM316

Just a little update.

On Monday I went to my head office for my disciplinary/stage 4 sickness meetings.
I was basically told that the outcome 'could be dismissal' but I think I put myself across very well and on my side I've worked there 14 years, am well liked and the existence of my regional office pretty much relies on me. If I go, that shuts down.
Although i'm not out of the woods yet, i'm fairly confident my job will be ok.

On Wednesday my cousin came to my office to repair a few things and as usual we went to the nearest pub afterwards.
I had two cokes, told him I was on pills for my shoulder. Seemed easy once again!

Also went to a recovery place on Wednesday. Much better than the place I had been to before.
Had to fill in loads of forms (one question being 'do you consider yourself a danger to children?', which I thought was odd) and the lady was pretty shocked that i'd had at least 3 withdrawal seizures in the past three years, and on the other hand she was happy that i'd gone 24 days without any alcohol.

Also had an ultrasound yesterday which seemed to go on forever.
I kept looking at the screen when she was doing it but all I kept thinking was 'that looks a bit tumour-ish' so I stopped looking.
All the poking and prodding she did meant I had real bad stomach pains all night and they're only dying down now. I think it's just trapped wind.

All in all, going well so far.

TDInstall

I have something positive to add.

I have just got home from an evening out with two of my old drinking mates.

We met in the bar we always used to go to. They ordered beer, and I ordered a non-alcoholic zero calorie beer.

One mate didn't mention anything at all, and the other said, "still not drinking? That must be nearly a year now, right?"

I said, "Yeah, coming up to"

He nodded, and we just got on with the banter as if I had never been away.

They were doing rounds, and when they ordered, they bought me a non-alcoholic beer (the bar staff had to look around for it for a while and we all joked that they were probably blowing the dust off it. Giggles all round).

I had a few of them, as they drank there beer.

We then went for a walk in the crowded night streets and stopped at a convenience store. They bought a beer each and I bought a sandwich. We stood outside, while they drank and smoked and I ate my sandwich. They went on to another bar and I went home.

Was totally normal and not awkward at all. I didn't feel the urge to drink alcohol, and was more than able to keep up with the banter.

So, it is possible!!

MattM316

Things like this are good to hear
We generally only hear of horror stories about people drifting away from friends just because of alcohol, but it's good to read more positive stories too.

I think you also have to accept a bit of banter/fun making about it all too, especially if your friends have been used to you drinking like a fish for years.

My next test is next weekend when I have two mates coming down to ******* for the 'Fright Fest All Nighter' which is basically horror films in a local cinema from 9pm to 7am.

YoungAndDone

I personally gave myself a year before putting myself into a situation where I'd be surrounded by alcohol, and a sporting event? Far worse. These days, i can spend 3 or 4 hours in the bar with people trying to buy me drinks and just sip on a sprite. In fact, bonus for me, most places in the states provide free drinks and food to the person who is designated DD for a group. I would say bring something with you, pick up a sudoku book, that will occupy your mind and time quite nicely. If not sudoku, find something else that you can easily bring with you, that you wouldn't mind losing, but will occupy your time.

Scout248

I know how you feel Matt. When I first stopped I was worried that being around drink would trigger a relapse. But I also knew that it wasn't being around drink that was the problem but my own frame of mind. Like another poster I actually enjoy going out socialising now with others who are boozing - I realised something really cool - that the thing I was afraid of (that I only went out to drink alcohol) wasn't true and thatI am a social kind of person who likes being around other people. Now I get the best of both worlds - fun AND a clear head.
20 days in is still quite soon so only you will know how you feel about it truthfully ie in my experience the decision to drink is never made on the spur of the moment' in reality the decision is made far earlier deep down inside us and then we let things take their course and lo and behold we are drinking.
So as one poster says - you don't have to spend 3 hours in the pub - could it be that you are making a decision to do that to line up that drink.. .? (Or maybe you are being wise and pre-empting the issue - I still have similar fears when I go away from work - perhaps we feel 'weaker' further from home??)
Whichever way it is great that you spotted the potential for a problem.. Why not have a plan b - there is a cinema near the tube station you could go watch a film to distract your mind if you feel vulnerable when you arrive?
Good luck (from a friendly Chelsea fan)

Just realised date of post - wonder how you got on?

MattM316

A few updates since the original post, all going well so far!