Kaileym11

ok so let me see if I can explain this correctly (admins if I'm posting in the wrong spot I am sorry) I'm not sure I can but here goes...

My father lives in Hawaii and I live in Ohio. My father ha seen an addict for as long as I can remember. On my 18th birthday (7years ago) he went into rehab for prescription pill addiction and heroin. Well today I find out he cannot even go about his day without consuming roughly 175oz of alcohol a day. He wakes up goes to the store and buys 6 25oz bottles of beer- then goes to the beach and drinks them. He also told me that he cannot even take his credit card out of his wallet because his hands are shaking and trembling terribly. I understand that he spends roughly $400/week on alcohol and cigarettes. He won't go into treatment on his own- so I guess my question is what can I do as his daughter? Can I deem him temporarily incompetent and force him into treatment?

Someone please help me... I need him. He is worth saving...

Kathleen41

No you cannot force him into treatment. You can love him. You can pray for him. You can let him know you are there for him. That's about it.

You didn't cause it.
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.

Sorry you are hurting. Peace and Love.

Taking5

Laws vary by state, but generally, yes this can be done. You must get them declared legally incompetent to do so, and this is very, very difficult and expensive.

Other than that, I agree wholeheartedly with Kathleen41's post.

As an aside, 6 25oz beers, while certainly alcoholic level drinking IMHO, is a rather pedestrian amount for an alcoholic. I drank easily 2-3 times that much as did many of my friends in AA. In all of our cases except one, we sought out recovery on our own.

Kaileym11

Thank you both of you for your responses. And I do realize that it is a pedestrian amount however the beer he drinks is a local Hawaiian beer that is 14% alcohol plus he smokes marijuana as well as does prescription pills. So that is mainly why I am concerned. But then again I live over 7,500 miles away- how do I know if a) that is all he's doing of 2) that this isn't just the tip of the iceberg.

This is going to be a battle and I do agree with you Kathleen that I just have to be there to love him and care for him. I will try and be strong and be there for him and try and convince him he came up with treatment on his own... thanksthanks

Dee74

Welcome Kailey

yeah, in my experience it's not the volume we drink that matters so much as what happens to us when we do....

and you're probably right that it's more than what he's admitting anyway...

I'm sorry I have no suggestions as I don't live in the States and I have no experience at all with rehabs.

Have you ever thought of AlAnon for yourself tho - sounds like you could use a little support?

D

Kaileym11

Thanks D... And I will check out AlAnon- I have definitely been down this road with him before... It's just frustrating. He doesn't eat or buy groceries- he is losing weight rapidly and it scares me. So I will just have to do my best to be there for him

bob8619

Just don't start loving him to death. (Enable)

Kaileym11

Oh God no. I would never- I can't anyway he is in Hawaii and I am in Ohio. I have a contact down there- one of his friends ad she is helping me help him since I can't be there- she is kind of my spy if you will

Kaileym11

Any advice on what I say to him to get through to him?