gaffo

As an ex chronic drunk driver (but never a DUI) I say this guy sounds like a chronic drunk driver.

MIRecovery

while technically there is nothing the police can do you may what to try this. Ask to speak to a captain or lieutenant. explain the situation and say that you are reasonably certain that he is drinking and driving with the children because of the flask and previous history. let them know the make model and license plate number of his car, his address, and when he's most likely be driving under the influence. It may not do any good but it might be just enough for a patrol to spot him and get him off the road. You may also want to talk to his parents and let them know that he's in dangering their grandchild. you may have done this but would also talk to Child Protective Services and see if they will do a home visit.

Anna

Are you involved in AlAnon as a support for yourself? I hope so.

LivingStronger

In my jurisdiction, if one has a credible concern that a spouse/former spouse poses an imminent danger to you or the children, you could file an emergency motion with the court for a temporary restraining order to keep him away from the children and then a full hearing within 10 days to determine the merits of the concern. But, simply finding a flask with nothing more would likely get you a stern warning from the judge to not come back without more proof that he is putting lives in danger.

I would start with his job. Is he showing up for work after dropping the kids at school? If so, ask his boss/coworkers what condition he's in when he reports. If he's not working, what does he do after he drops the kids off? Talk to his friends, follow his Facebook page, follow him, have someone else follow him.

Does he have a history of dui/other alcohol related issues? I would assume that he does by your concern but then again, he apparently convinced a judge that he is not so much of a threat that he shouldn't be given liberal visitation and/or he convinced you to agree to the visitation schedule. Either way, you will have to do more than present a flask to show he is now unfit to care for his children. We can jump to all the dire conclusions we want to, and you are certainly right to be concerned, but absent further evidence, there's really nothing you, a court, or the authorities can do.

whiskeyman

Maybe it was your kids. They start early.
I know that when i was actively drinking i actually would have used that as a lie to try and convince.
And would have fought it.

wanttobehealthy

Yes I confronted him. He said he took it from the house after being here w our kids(moron judge allows him visitation in the house bc it's still in both our names). He said it was a momento from out wedding and he wanted it for nostalgia. Said he had it in his pocket then decided it was safer in case he was pulled over, to have it in the back so the kids car seat is clearly logical.

whiskeyman

Oh yes clearly logical.
lol

KateL

I was having a sneaky vodka in the kitchen one day and my little girl caught me with it in my hands (not actually drinking it). She asked me what it was and I said cleaning fluid.. makes me cringe to think about it now.

GracieLou

Clearly!

I mean putting way in the back with the spare tire or in the trunk would be stupid. It would be to hard to reach it while driving.

Ethos23

My $.02. It was hidden there because nobody would think to search there, in his mind. It remained there because he was drunk when he hid it there and forgot about it.

RhodeIsland

We need back up. Flask could have been put there by anyone.

SpouseRecovery

My AH would stash empty beer bottles on the floor below our child's car seat. He hid how much he drank for years.

wanttobehealthy

Empty beer cans and full ones for that matter used to be found under the same kids car seat in the past. I used to be able to ban him from driving the girls but the moron judges in my community seem to think that if you're a HF alcoholic who coaches and teaches and is seen as a stand up guy, who cares if your ex wife is scared about you driving drunk with your kids...

So, until next week I am stuck letting him drive them each morning. And I just pray nothing happens.

foolsgold66

Reasonable is a word for laws and courts. You know the answer to this already, it was there because a drunk thought it was a good ready spot to stash the goodies within arms reach and not get caught.

Uninvited

The cops won't look under there?

Upsetnneedhelp

wantstobe, have you ever considered your child being able to get a hold of the flask and drink it? The husband sounds like a repeat drunk driver and the cops are not dumb. In the inner city, cops look into baby bottles and diaper bags for dope all the time. It's a common hiding place. Hopefully, he will not crash with the kids in the car. The judge allowing you to have an overnight visit in your house doesn't make much sense. DO you live in the countryside or something?

wanttobehealthy

I live in the live free or die state where the belief is that personal freedoms take precedence over the well being of others... Rugged independence, no one is going to infringe on the rights of the individual crap...

I despise this state and the law enforcement attitudes. And my small town where the xAH is a teacher/coach and viewed as a great guy cares only about that image. So when he kills someone driving drunk THAT is when the court will care I guess.

I am beyond frustrated with the legal system.

zjw

Someone who drinks out of a flask and feels the need to conceal it and well take it in a car at all I mean really do you have to ask if the intentions where good? No normal sane sober person just so happens to carry a flask around and goes on concealing it. Non drunks dont do those sorts of things period!

Now if the flask is full of koolaid or water then i'd just think this person as strange.

zjw

Thats a tough situation. My step father growing up was a great guy in the community everyone liked him he was just so wondrful etc.. Meanwhile what they didnt know was be beat the snot out of me was drunk night after night and was running around on my mother. we lived in HELL while he walked on water in everyones eyes!

Just keep in mind the wheels of justice may turn slowly but they do turn....

Ruby2

He took the flask for nostalgic reasons and it still had alcohol in it? And then hid it? That is a quack.

I have to say that in my line of work I have read through a lot of police reports. People are capable of no end of foolish and dangerous things. Anyone thinking that they are pulling one over on the police by hiding something in or around a baby seat, thinking the police would never look there, is only fooling themselves. It might even be in the top three places the police would look first. Because they have sadly seen it all before. I've seen reports of guns being recovered from child seats, ammunition, crack cocaine. You name it, it has been found there. So, long story short, he is quacking and was drinking in the car and didn't want to get caught.

I am sorry that you were told nothing can be done. Perhaps another lawyer not in your town who doesn't have anything invested in his reputation? I have spent a good amount of time in your state in a small town up north. I can understand your concerns and frustrations. Sometimes very insular. Pretty state though.