The reality of alcoholism
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Location: Prairie Village, KS
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The reality of alcoholism
I found out today that my very first boyfriend and childhood friend died of alcoholism. He stood me up on our very first date because he had been drunk the day he asked me out and didn't remember. This was many years ago but I always would ask friends and family about him and would hear that he was a "hopeless alcoholic." His family eventually gave up on him, his wife left him and he was not allowed to see his son. He spent some years in prison for drunk driving (which means he either killed someone or critically injuepred them). He showed up at my aunt's funeral drunk. I remember also referring to him as a hopeless alcoholic and refused to see or talk to him.
And here I am now also an alcoholic. I am 9 months sober. My disease didn't progress until a few years ago. And that is the operative word here, "disease." I don't know if my friend ever tried to get sober. All I know now is that he must have suffered terribly. I feel somewhat guilty and ashamed that I too referred to him as hopeless. But I didn't know then what I know now. This is a deadly disease. I pray foe everyone of us here because all we get is a daily reprieve. RIP Danny.
And here I am now also an alcoholic. I am 9 months sober. My disease didn't progress until a few years ago. And that is the operative word here, "disease." I don't know if my friend ever tried to get sober. All I know now is that he must have suffered terribly. I feel somewhat guilty and ashamed that I too referred to him as hopeless. But I didn't know then what I know now. This is a deadly disease. I pray foe everyone of us here because all we get is a daily reprieve. RIP Danny.
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Also one of my dad's friends spent years in prison for DUI but never harmed anyone. He just had 7 of them, so maybe Danny never hurt anything he just kept getting caught driving drunk. By the time my dad's friend got the 4-5 one he spent a good amount of time in prison.
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Very true Boston. I don't know for a fact that he killed anyone. That was presumptuous on my part. I don't know what happened to him exactly. I was just told he died of alcoholism.
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Sorry for your loss, Sally. It's still hard for me to fathom but 3 of my friends all died to addictions in a 2 year timeframe. Each had separate stories but a common killer. All of us have a chance to win and live so let's take that gift to make the most of it.
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Originally Posted by Sally3127 
Very true Boston. I don't know for a fact that he killed anyone. That was presumptuous on my part. I don't know what happened to him exactly. I was just told he died of alcoholism.
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Originally Posted by Sally3127
I feel somewhat guilty and ashamed that I too referred to him as hopeless. But I didn't know then what I know now. This is a deadly disease. I pray foe everyone of us here because all we get is a daily reprieve. RIP Danny.
With my ex if I said it once I said it a hundred times how he was just a drunk. He had 5 DUI's and one he had our children with him. I was always so angry with him for not being a better father. For only doing what seemed to me as the very least he could do. He was mentally and physically unavailable for them most of their lives. Now I have had to look at myself and I see I was really no better. They may have lived with me but that just meant they got to see more of my disease then his.
The same goes with my brother although it was very long ago so many things are foggy. I remember him always being angry. He was always in trouble and I never understood why he could not just do the right thing. Why did he have to steal? Why did he lie? Why did he disappear for days? Why my parents forced him into treatment he said many times he did not want?
My brother took his own life and my ex-husband literally drank himself to death. It is the reality of alcoholism. My brothers name was Danny.
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