eolc94

I am sooo confused right now -
But before i start let me just give some background - A few months ago i posted on SR wondering if I should seek help - I am 19 years old and have been binge drinking since i was 15 but since i was 17/18 the binge drinking was something like 20 drinks a week (all in one or two nights) and then when I finished school i started drinking almost everyday (Even DURING class from a water bottle at university) until my parents found out that I had a stash of empty bottles in the back of my cupboard....Anyway I posted on here and was encourage to get help - i called the youth drug and alcohol service, got 'diagnosed' by several offically type people and then went to alcohol 'therapy' for a while, then I did some other intense therapy type things and promised my mum I would 'cut down'.

Since i live at home I couldn't get away with drinking alone in my room anymore, and i basically just started going out partying less but even though i went through a couple days of really gross, sweaty withdrawals I still continue to drink occasionally - maybe once every couple of weeks when i go out to bars with my friends.

HOW is this possible? seriously, I don't feel out of control like i use to, I actually feel quite normal.... So does that mean I was never an alcoholic in the first place? This seems weird to me because all the therapist people kept saying that i wouldn't be able to even have a little bit of alcohol again and all that but then here i am having a few drinks on a saturday night here and there and it not causing problems...whuut??

Threshold

I cannot know what is true for you, but I do know that many times when people go off booze for awhile, then pick up again, they do seem able to moderate for awhile. But very very often in time that begins to pick up and within a few months we are right back where we were or worse.

There are people who go off booze and are able to come back and moderate, but it seems to be rather uncommon among people who drank the way we did.

Personal experience and the experience of many many people here of all ages etc show that picking up drinking again, usually takes us right back where we were.

And many have also said that quitting again was more difficult.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Eolc.

I just can tell you my experience.

A couple of years ago I decided to stay away from wine for three months because it messed up with me hitting my target weight ( I am a crazy gym rat). So I did.

I hit my target weight right on the New Year's Eve. Celebrated it. Enjoyed. Then was able to moderate drinking for a while...

...Then a year ago I joined SR and sober since then...

Moderate again? No thanks...

Hope everything will be ok with you.

Best wishes.

Ncognito13

It's hard to say really. I'll give you an example. I had a buddy of mine that I lived with for years that was a heavy drinker. Him and I would drink at home, go to a bar, buy more beer, go home and drink, and would be sitting in the car at 6am waiting for 7-11 to start selling beer again. He once threw up in a movie theater and projectile vomited over the next five rows. Needless to say, he (we) exhibited alcoholic behavior.

But, he graduated college, got married, worked at Capital One as an analyst for two years, then got a job at the Pentagon. He has a nice house, between him and his wife they clears around $170k a year. He only drinks twice a month with a three drink limit. I met him at a sports bar recently and he was drinking iced tea even though we were slamming pitchers. I have several friends like this. How do they do it, I don't know.

All I do know is that while they could cut down, I just got worse and worse. From 3 drinks a day, to 6, to 8, to 10, to as many as I could get til I blacked out. I guess some people are wired differently.