DoubleBarrel

Some of us lost our professional status due to excessive drinking.

Celebration1994

I am a retired drug and alcohol counseler. For me I was careful where I attended meetings because a client might be there and in seeing me may have felt uncomfortable with me at a meeting and not shared what they wanted to. Most of the meetings I would attend would be a wee bit out of town. I go to meetings for me and my recovery, and to me that is enough, not who is there or not there. Since retiring I have relocated and have never introduced myself other than to say...."My name is Terry and I am an alcoholic. My profession isn't that important to most people....they want to know how I stay sober 1 day at a time. This post is certainly not to judge anyone of there opinion, it is just my opinon.

rowd44

True, it is really cool meeting people from all walks of life that you normally wouldn't connect with. It's truly an amazing experience.

Grungehead

I agree Terry. I go to meetings to listen to people sharing about the solution. If a ditch digger is living in the solution and shares it with me I am all ears. Honestly I can't remember anyone sharing much about their occupation, and if they do it's in a general way and they don't get into specifics. I live in a town where the average salary is well above the state and national average due in part to the high tech companies and large universities with medical schools and large teaching hospitals located here. Still I can't really tell who is who. I go to mostly 8PM meetings so most people are out of their work clothes and into their "go to meeting" clothes.

There are a couple of famous retired athletes that attend the same meetings as me. It's hard not to know what they do (did) for a living since anyone into the sport they played would recognize them immediately.

IOAA2

I've noticed a very large proportion of the general population has a characteristic of "act as if" we have it together and are knowledgeable but in reality are falling apart inside and turn to booze and drugs for a temp relief.

BE WELL

miamifella

One way this impacted me at meetings was with so many people sharing stories of getting jobs at the supermarket or visitation rights with their children, I felt bad sharing my successes. It was hard to share my successes with people who were just barely getting by.

So I was a lot more comfortable in meetings when I was unemployed and living marginally than when I got my career on track. This was in part because I remember how bad I felt when I was really down and out--when you can't buy groceries it is hard to listen to a story about cooking a great Thanksgiving feast. I did not want to be a jerk.

How do you share when your life is so different from everyone else in the program? We are supposed to share the benefits of being in recovery, but how do you do that with out rubbing people's noses in it. I have been on both sides of this in my years in the program and never figured out how best to act.

DoubleBarrel

Thats not anything for you to worry about.

I never resent other peoples successes, because I don't know what kind of work and sacrifices they have had to endure to attain them.

Life isnt fair, either, and as soon as I start worrying about the hand Ive been dealt by looking at someone else, I have more work to do on myself.

You deserve the successes. When I see someone in AA who is accomplished in their career, it gives me hope for my OWN future.

Sometimes it can feel that all the alcoholics are in dead end jobs or no jobs at all. I enjoy seeing guys like you at meetings.

Carlotta

I think one thing we can all agree on is that when it comes to drinking, we were all professionals

Carlotta

It all depends on how you define success. In you case it seems like you define success from a purely materialistic point of view.
For me success is someone who is balanced, at peace and contributes to the community at large.
As far as sharing goes, the preamble clearly states:
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened and how we are like now .
One does not need to be specific and braggy like in:
I just got a promotion, I make 6 figures and bought a new BMW.
A more useful share would be: Through working the steps and staying sober, I was able to become a valuable employee and have not been fired since I stopped drinking. The promises did come true for me: Fear of economic insecurity has left me.

miamifella

I do not myself think of success in terms of material things. That is one of the reasons I left the program.

In meetings generally what was shared was job success and family success. These were the marks of successful recovery. Success was not always financial--often it was just doing a good job.

Two of the reasons I found therapy more helpful than 12-step programs was that in therapy I could discuss my failings and in therapy I was able to define the success of my recovery in terms of how I dealt with the cards handed me by life. The rewards of my success were usually not related to work or money.

I think that the use of financial/job success as a goal marker in recovery is probably because when you are struggling financially that matters alot. When I was poor, I used that as marker too. But when I started doing better...it was less central to my life. I could not brag about family stuff and I did not want to brag about job stuff. What I really needed was to share more about internal changes and my fear of relapse---the stuff you don't bring up in meetings.

(Also I went against the program and planned so I could move and get a better job. I shared that once and got reamed after the meeting for not trusting the promises. So I did not feel I could share this part of my life even if I wanted to.)

I am grateful to my years in the program, but in the cities where I lived the people attending meetings were mostly disadvantaged. I have heard this is different in NYC and I am sure in other places as well. And maybe they talk about different things in meetings.