Br00ksie

Haa!

FeenixxRising

"Concluding" that someone isn't particularly intelligent isn't making a "judgment" about that person's value.

There's a guy who works at my local grocery store who brings in the grocery carts from the parking lot. He talks to himself constantly; when he talks to the customers, it's apparent his mental capacity is diminished. However, he's a friendly guy, he seems to be well-liked by the customers, and it appears he's found a way to help himself. I can "conclude" he's not as "intelligence" as most people, without making a "value judgment" about his character.

I sure most people see the point I've attempted to make. Those that don't are entitled to their opinion. I'll bow out of this thread for now, as it seems this is a very contentious subject, and I rather not add any more fuel to the fire.

wakko

About 10 percent of the general public is affected by addiction of one form or another. Professionals make up a relatively small percentage of the general public. They are underrepresented in the general populace so they are underrepresented in AA as well.

From my perspective I couldn't care less what somebody does. What makes a difference to me is how they lead a healthy happy sober life.


I will never be remembered for what I was. I will be remembered for what I did.

ronf

I have not read all the posts in this thread, so I may be repeating here. The point I want to make is. I live in a city that's just big enough to have different sides of town. Yes, we all have the same story to tell, BUT, the person in the mission will tell it differently than the person of education. Go to the meetings where you hear you're own story! After going to meetings all over town I found the group that I could really relate to.

Ron

Raufoss

I have found a lot depends on the meeting. The friday stag meetings I view as my home group is made up of professionals. When I visit the Alano club at noon there are a bunch of less successful folks. I get a lot out of both places, but I do feel more at home at my home meeting. In the other one, I'd feel bad about talking about drinking in graduate school, given that so many folks didn't graduate high school.

On the other hand, we're all drunks. Find a group that's right for you.

hawkeyefan

Yep!!! Sometimes it just best to give your opinion and then walk away!!
This is obviously a touchy subject..
An alcoholic is an alcoholic is an alcoholic..put me in a designer dress..I'm still an alcoholic!

KristyCat

Fenix, I think you need to be careful that you're not thinking you're "better" than other people in a meeting. I feel like we all do this to a certain extent, especially in the beginning--we like to look around the room and think, well I'm not as bad as THAT guy, who has multiple DUI's and legal problems, or THAT lady, who's pregnant and just had a relapse, etc...

I think it's something we alcoholics do to make us feel like we're "not as bad as" the "others" in the meeting, but this is hurtful to our recovery because you end up feeling like maybe your problems aren't that severe and you don't need to be in AA. We all have problems, we're all alcoholics, and nobody is better or worse than anyone else. We're all just working on improving ourselves and helping others.

The fact that a professional may feel he/she is smarter, more educated, has a bigger vocabulary, more money etc. just doesn't matter. It doesn't make their disease any less severe. I'd try to focus on your similarities with people rather than your differences. Don't separate yourself...that's what your addiction wants and could lead you to stop your program and back to drinking.

rowd44

Just wanted to say: I wanted to share my observations from what I have a seen and experienced. I go to AA and could care less what people do for a living. I know alcoholism can affect anyone...wealthy; poor; etc. Just a personal observation and perhaps a personal perception that may be inaccurate on my part...thanks for sharing!

FeenixxRising

Kristy, I'm not sure why you feel I might think I'm better than other people in meetings. I've never felt that way, nor did my posts in any way suggest I've felt that way. Please reread what I've written. For what it's worth, I'm not what most people would consider a professional--at least in the traditional sense. And I really could care less about the demographic make up and any meeting.

I believe a few of you are reading things into my comments that just aren't there.

foolsgold66

That's simply not true! You did say you saw a pink elephant salsa dancing with a squirrel on Tuesday.

We drunks can be a sensitive lot.

I do think that some or all of us have likely been treated poorly by others for dumb reasons like dress, haircut, occupation, etc in life. That crap is hard to take, fits in the category of 'baggage' for some.

And sometimes people do read into things what they should not, perhaps because they have baggage, perhaps otherwise.

I get misinterpreted sometimes when I say that a way to establish better perspective and attitude can be to look at folks that don't have it as good as you in whatever way. I mean that group no disrespect when I say that, but It gets seen that way sometimes.

jaynie04

I do feel like Feenix is now getting thrown under the bus. We constantly make non-verbal assumptions about each other. Whether it even registers or whether we place value on those assumptions is a different matter. In fact we couldn't walk down crowded streets without the non-verbal cues we give each other, a slight tilt to the head and shift in direction indicates to people who are approaching us which side we are going to pass them on. Based on the fact that I am a female, it is logical that people will drawn certain assumptions. The fact that I am a certain age also gives away information about me. The list is endless. I don't think Feenix was being judgmental, we assess each other constantly. Placing a premium or a discount on certain characteristics is what gets us into a better than/less than mode.

TeriJane

Funny!

caboblanco

isn't a professional anybody who makes money for doing anything? hence prostitution?

BarbieKen

Hi Brooksie,,
I'd just like to comment that I'm a 55 year old woman, who lives near Pasadena, CA. My husband and I are not rich. Our insurance, Kaiser Permanente paid for a good portion of my De-Tox ( at Kaiser), and at the Women's Rehab I lived at for 1 month. My husband and son are both Recovering Alcoholics/Addicts who did not go through Rehab. 8 and 5 years respectfully. However you get to Sobriety .....

TrixMixer

Hi rowd44,

I am not quite sure why your question garnered the kinds of responses posted on this thread,

IMO--At one time or another I would venture to guess everyone here "judged a book by it's cover" , so I am not sure why the defensiveness. I think (unfortunately) it is human nature .

I know when I was 18 working in a department store, this little old lady , dressed rather shabbily always came in around lunch time just to look, never buy anything. I was always very sweet to her because I felt SORRY that she did not have much--I judged her by her appearance and her clothes--because that was what I was all about at that age

The President and owner of the store stopped at my counter one day to tell me how much HIS mother enjoyed talking to me and how I always made time for her. Well you could of hit me in the face--here I am feeling so sorry for this little old lady assuming (by appearance only) she was this pitiful little soul , when in actuality she was the Matriarch of the wealthiest family in Philadelphia. It was a good lesson to learn at an early age. The way I looked at life and people changed forever that day.

I am certain Life and People will always surprise you.

john44

Cool story. Born and bred Philly boy here.

IWLSAST

I had avoided this area of SR because IMHO these types of discussions serve little purpose. I let myself get dragged (or was I drugged) into another of these posts a couple days ago. I simply must move on...but after this...

After reading the headline, I thought of a half a dozen friends of mine that are wearing their business suits on the under side of the ground these days.

One of them would have at minimum been our Governor. I mention him in more detail because the last time I saw him he weighed 85lbs and needed to hold court at the party we were at since he could no longer even remain standing.

Lastly, I was at a Big Book study meeting last week that was starting over at page one when Tom (a butcher) shared the following; "I remember reading Bill W's story in rehab in 1987, and I wondered why it didn't say it was Tom's story." He then looked at me for some crazy reason and continued, "or Carlos's story,"...etc.
I

TrixMixer

Actually am a Jersey Girl (that shouldn't surprise anyone, ie my Sober story), but worked and Partied in Philly. Still Love that Town and what it gave to music!!!!

Good to see someone from Home on here!!!!!

All the Best, John

rowd44

You do never know who's who. I found out one of our members was a doctor but I had no idea. Again, as many mentioned, people coming to the rooms aren't necessarily dressed in their work cloths. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter since we all share the same common problem and that's we are all there supporting each others.

ippochick

there are all sorts of people at the meetings i go to.

if you saw me, with my bright blue hair, tattoos and piercings you might assume i was not a 'career woman'. you would be wrong.

it's all good though. as one of the guys in my home group says, part of the joy for him is meeting people in the fellowship he might otherwise not have befriended. life's rich tapestry, and all that...