Trouble with a particular friend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: California
Posts: 101
Trouble with a particular friend
I've been sober almost 4 months now. Things have definitely been up and down for me during that time, for different reasons other than not drinking. Recently, I've been dealing with a bit of temptation and heres why:
A couple years ago I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity live in different parts of South America, studying and working. It was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. I traveled through several different countries and even held down a pretty good position in one of the countries. Throughout my time there I made a really good friend who was coincidentally from my hometown. He also lived in that country working as well. Together we experienced some amazing things; the best clubs, girls, traveling to real local areas, played for a South American baseball team, etc.
One thing we did do though, was drank a lot. We always seemed to be on the same page of how much we wanted to party. Though we still maintained the responsibilities we had, we definitely took the sayin, work hard and play hard to the fullest. Fast forward 6 months later, and I returned to the U.S. to finish school and pursue an opportunity I had out here. He stayed, but eventually returned as well, but to a different state to goto law school. We still keep in contact and touch base here and there.
Well, the time has come, he is visiting his parents out here and wants to hang out. Hes going to be out here a month so it's not just trying to avoid the situation for one weekend. I still haven't told him that I am not drinking and to tell you the truth, I feel the a bit silly telling him. I guess I just relate him to all those great experiences I had and get a bit of temptation. I guess this is a way that i feel I could connect to my old experiences in a certain way.
I'd appreciate anyones advice or if they had similar experiences.
A couple years ago I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity live in different parts of South America, studying and working. It was probably one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. I traveled through several different countries and even held down a pretty good position in one of the countries. Throughout my time there I made a really good friend who was coincidentally from my hometown. He also lived in that country working as well. Together we experienced some amazing things; the best clubs, girls, traveling to real local areas, played for a South American baseball team, etc.
One thing we did do though, was drank a lot. We always seemed to be on the same page of how much we wanted to party. Though we still maintained the responsibilities we had, we definitely took the sayin, work hard and play hard to the fullest. Fast forward 6 months later, and I returned to the U.S. to finish school and pursue an opportunity I had out here. He stayed, but eventually returned as well, but to a different state to goto law school. We still keep in contact and touch base here and there.
Well, the time has come, he is visiting his parents out here and wants to hang out. Hes going to be out here a month so it's not just trying to avoid the situation for one weekend. I still haven't told him that I am not drinking and to tell you the truth, I feel the a bit silly telling him. I guess I just relate him to all those great experiences I had and get a bit of temptation. I guess this is a way that i feel I could connect to my old experiences in a certain way.
I'd appreciate anyones advice or if they had similar experiences.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
A traveling companion is a special connection--he should understand. I know my traveling friends have accepted life changes I've made well. I would level with him right away and don't make a big deal about it. It's just how things are for you now. If he tries to tempt you, say clearly you cannot hang out. Your 4 month of sobriety is worth a lot more than a one month binge. Fast forward and run the tape if needed :-) Good luck!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Do you have other things in common then just drinking?
When I lived the "drinking life", going to bars, parties, etc. I had tons of friends. The main thing we had in common was we all loved to get wasted. If I were to call these "friends" now, probably 99% of them would not want to get together if alcohol isn't involved.
As long as you have other things you and your friend enjoy doing together, not drinking shouldn't be an issue.
When I lived the "drinking life", going to bars, parties, etc. I had tons of friends. The main thing we had in common was we all loved to get wasted. If I were to call these "friends" now, probably 99% of them would not want to get together if alcohol isn't involved.
As long as you have other things you and your friend enjoy doing together, not drinking shouldn't be an issue.
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