pinkdog

Hi Susan, I agree with what Dr. Phil says "addiction never really goes away, you just learn other behaviors that are incompatible with them". As you adjust your lifestyle to sobriety, you get different routines and habits. Alcohol is no longer at the center of it. That's my experience. Very best wishes to you.

LadyBlue0527

A little over 4 months in and I'm finding that the active perception of "not drinking" is decreasing. In the beginning I thought about it all the time. Weekends were my downfall so that's where it was most noticeable.

My brain is now somewhat accustomed to the fact that I don't drink. Not that I don't have moments here and there, it's just that there's less of them.

Nevertheless

Every day when I got of work,the first thing I did was go to the beer store. I did that for about 30 years. Every day.
I think it was a little after the 6 month sober mark,when I got almost all of the way home (45 minute drive). I realized I walked into the convenience store after work,bought a bag of chips and a coke and never even looked at, or gave a thought about the cold beer in the cooler.
That was a true feeling of freedom for me. And actually after drinking for 30 years 6 months is a reasonable amount of time. I very rarely give it a thought anymore. I have been sober over 4 years.
Hang in there it does go away.

Fred

Susan2984

Re: Days - I quit drinking my nightly wine as of Sept. 9th. I did slip on the 15th but didn't "start over" my count. I know some would, but I didn't feel it was necessary.

Amajorityofone

Friend-

I do not feel that it is even necessary to count. Counting, in my opinion, reinforces the "prison" of sobriety instead of the freedom from alcoholism.

I do feel strongly that if you are even remotely serious about your sobriety that it is essential to be honest. A bottle and a half of wine six days into your sobriety, and I say this with love, is not a "slip." A bottle and a half of wine six days into your sobriety is a continuation down the path of alcoholism.

Put simply, your sober walk starts not from when you stopped having your nightly wine, but from when you had your last drink....and the only person that will ever know for certain when that was is you.

Good luck and God Bless

Susan2984

Oh I get what you are saying. And I had to look at the calendar to count anyway, someone asked in one thread about something else what day I was on and I had to think about it and look at the calendar was why I know now I guess it's perspective. My ultimate goal is not being dependent on a drink at night to calm my nerves and to be able to drink on occasion and socially, so it's possible I'm also not as hard on myself as others may be. I suppose if someone told me they had been not drinking for say 2 years and then drank a few times in one week then went back to not drinking that they wouldn't necessarily be "Starting at square one" again despite the 2 years. But again, it's a bit of perspective and opinion.

Amajorityofone

What you're describing is moderation.

Unfortunately, because alcoholism is progressive, moderation doesn't work. In fact, case studies have shown that moderation has a 98.4% failure rate. I don't know about you, but when i drank, I drank to get drunk. Thus, moderation has never appealed to me.

Once again, if you're even remotely serious about your sobriety, the most important thing to do is to be honest, with yourself.

I do wish you and your family well.

Susan2984

I know, that's what this time of abstinence and self reflection is about - being honest with myself and figuring out where my issues lie. As weird as it sounds, in recent months and really for the past year, I didn't really drink to get drunk often. I became "dependent" on a couple glasses of wine every night to take the edge off and calm my nerves, and I didn't like feeling dependent on it! Years ago when I started drinking I would have many more nights when I actually got drunk, but then that faded away for the most part quite a while ago except on a rare occasion. What had me worried then again was the fact that after making it a week with nothing I did binge which isn't my norm. But I shook it off, got mad at myself then forgave myself, and haven't had any issues really since. But I'm keeping on abstinence for now, because I do want to better myself, in many ways, and keep working through my issues without alcohol as a crutch