JustODAAT

I am 14 months sober. For me, the difference is not that I magically stop having cravings. The difference is I don't assume that the only way to deal with a craving is to give into it. That took about 3 months for me.

The posts on this site about urge surfing helped me. Just reading this site every day helps me. I remind myself daily that I am not a person who can drink without negative consequences.

Joe Nerv

Hard to say for sure with me, but I'd guess at around 6 months. I came the closest I ever came to picking up at that point, and immediately following felt a different connection with AA. I had been going reguarly, but something just seemed to click right around the 6 month point. I think that's when I really started to feel a part of the sober community, and honestly started embracing a new way of life. The new people helped. People, places, and things needed to be changed and AA helped facilitate that. I also was really involved with the steps by that point too.

RobbyRobot

Feelings come and go - doing whatever to get a kind of feeling and then holding on to it just makes the journey more difficult, speaking for myself here. There were plenty of times I felt wonderful while drunk and also obviously plenty of times I felt lousy too while drunk - so chasing feelings is not helpful as a tool in my toolbox. Chasing feelings feeds selfishness and creates more not less addictive behaviors, imo.

It's more helpful knowing quitting will always take your life in directions drinking never will - and you'll have plenty of feelings about all that of course. Getting ourselves past all urges and obsessions is not easy for most of us but absolutely doable for all of us when we keep our eyes on the prize - freedom to live as we choose without alcohol.

I stopped missing alcohol years before I managed to finally quit. This statement would only make sense to a guy who failed at quitting as many times as I did. Yeah, epic fail. My mind was closed and my heart hardened against my helping others help me - and until I was agreeable to its not all about me and my selfishness I had zero success in quitting.

Nobody wants to hear about selfishness, really, and so its not an easy journey when we won't face the writing on the wall about our asking ourselves can this journey/event be made any easier?

Yeah, making it less about my selfish feelings made it easier, speaking from my own experiences. How any of us choose to be less selfish is entirely our own choice, and all roads lead home when we are more willing to give of ourselves.

Take it easy, and take some time to smell the roses...

DayTrader

Great stuff in that post. Brutal honesty - love it. Plenty of reasons to stay sober too, but isn't it interesting that in spite of that, you (we) still find a way to get drunk anyway? As you put it, sometimes those feelings just "happen" out of nowhere and all this awesome defense system you (we) had in place was almost non-existent. What happened to all that resolve we had yesterday.....last week? It's a killer, I know first hand.

As far as when it all changed......that was when I'd been changed. Boleo referred to a sudden experience that he had. For me, it was more of the drawn-out type. It happened over several (many?) months. In the beginning it was tough. Over time, it started to become more easy. See, my problem isn't THAT I drink booze. I'm alcoholic, I have alcoholism, so my problem isn't that I drink......it's that I can't live life WITHOUT drinking. Sure, the drink gets me in trouble and does all sorts of bad things to my health but that's not the source, the root. THE main problem was that I couldn't get through life without some sort of sedative, escape, numbing agent, etc. I didn't know how to live sober and happily at the same time.

For me, the desire to drink did leave pretty quickly, in a matter of days if I remember BUT I wasn't happy about my "sobriety" for quite a while. See, taking the drink away from me didn't solve my problem(s). It was a VERY necessary start though. I was happy about being sober and happy with life when I'd changed. I did a lot of stuff, did a lot of AA stuff, and my HP did a lot. All parts were necessary for me.

Now, I can promise you, I'm a totally different person. Old friends, when i run into them, don't hardly recognize me (well, the recognize my face but not my thoughts, actions, and demeanor). It's pretty cool.

BrandNewDay11

Robby Robot, and Day Trader thank you for all that you said, I plan to re-read it many many times. I need to think more along those lines...getting out of myself, and creating my own happiness by doing things that will ultimately change my patterns. And how true that taking away the drink alone won't change me. I have had some sort of escape agent my whole life, drinking an otherwise!

keithj

When did I stop missing it? Hmm, not exactly sure, but somewhere between Steps 3 and 7 I was sitting in a meeting and I realized that the thought of drinking hadn't occurred to me that day, and I really couldn't remember the last day when it had. And I knew something very remarkable had occurred within me as the result of the spiritual action I was engaged in.