Girls
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: MI
Posts: 102
Girls
I love to drink beer, I love to get drunk to end a day. I love to slam a nine pack of those aluminum pints on my 40 mile drive home from work. I often tell myself that if I ever get my first DUI, I will thank the officer for saving my life. I'm a naive, disgusting, irresponsible and flat-out dangerous human being at this point.
A few weeks ago I decided I had a serious addiction to kick and made a thread on this very website about my withdrawal concerns. I went three days sober, the first three consecutive days I've had in three or four years, and I had very mild withdrawal symptoms. I think this is the worst thing that could have happened to me because I think I've rationalized to myself that I must not be a serious alcoholic.
Today a fantastic girl from my past sent me a text message out of the blue. She wanted to know if I want to hang out when she's back in town in a few weeks. Well yes, of course I do. My initial thoughts are that this is a great time to stop drinking and start working out hard to try to cut a few pounds and look good when I see her.
I feel like girls are a very dangerous thing to set your hope for sobriety into. Has anyone leveraged a new relationship into new sobriety? Should I forget about this and not see her and take a more fundamental approach to normalcy?
I'm just looking for anything I can utilize for a change because I feel like my body is betraying me and making this problem too easy to manage.
A few weeks ago I decided I had a serious addiction to kick and made a thread on this very website about my withdrawal concerns. I went three days sober, the first three consecutive days I've had in three or four years, and I had very mild withdrawal symptoms. I think this is the worst thing that could have happened to me because I think I've rationalized to myself that I must not be a serious alcoholic.
Today a fantastic girl from my past sent me a text message out of the blue. She wanted to know if I want to hang out when she's back in town in a few weeks. Well yes, of course I do. My initial thoughts are that this is a great time to stop drinking and start working out hard to try to cut a few pounds and look good when I see her.
I feel like girls are a very dangerous thing to set your hope for sobriety into. Has anyone leveraged a new relationship into new sobriety? Should I forget about this and not see her and take a more fundamental approach to normalcy?
I'm just looking for anything I can utilize for a change because I feel like my body is betraying me and making this problem too easy to manage.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
Welcome.
A) Girls from the past are always trouble
B) You're one of us, social drinkers don't slam 9 beers driving home from work
C) A new girl won't help you get sober. More likely to make you get drunker
A) Girls from the past are always trouble
B) You're one of us, social drinkers don't slam 9 beers driving home from work
C) A new girl won't help you get sober. More likely to make you get drunker
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I think it's a great rule of thumb for anyone newly sober to focus on staying sober as a priority.
There will be other text messages and other girls later, when you're more accustomed to living sober.
D
There will be other text messages and other girls later, when you're more accustomed to living sober.
D
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
It's not your body that will get you sober, it's your brain. You have solid rational reasons to sober yourself, like continuing to live, for e.g. If you keep drinking and waiting for your body to make you quit, you will join the list of people who no longer shop at Sears. If you can accept any reason at all to have a beer, maybe you can start widening your acceptance criteria for reasons to not have a beer. At this point, any approach to normalcy is worth investigating.
You can make a plan to quit drinking, and quit drinking for good. Your own good. Are you ready to make a plan about continuing to use alcohol?
You can make a plan to quit drinking, and quit drinking for good. Your own good. Are you ready to make a plan about continuing to use alcohol?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
I feel like my body is betraying me and making this problem too easy to manage.
Obviously, you are young.
Keep living like you are living and eventually your body will give out. Age catches up to everyone, and I think it catches up to alcoholics quicker.
Alcoholism is progressive, and there will come a time when a nine pack of beer won't do it for you. And drinking large quantities of beer takes to long to get a good buzz. For me, that's when vodka entered the picture. Don't let that happen to you.
Obviously, you are young.
Keep living like you are living and eventually your body will give out. Age catches up to everyone, and I think it catches up to alcoholics quicker.
Alcoholism is progressive, and there will come a time when a nine pack of beer won't do it for you. And drinking large quantities of beer takes to long to get a good buzz. For me, that's when vodka entered the picture. Don't let that happen to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: MI
Posts: 102
Originally Posted by freshstart57 
It's not your body that will get you sober, it's your brain. You have solid rational reasons to sober yourself, like continuing to live, for e.g. If you keep drinking and waiting for your body to make you quit, you will join the list of people who no longer shop at Sears. If you can accept any reason at all to have a beer, maybe you can start widening your acceptance criteria for reasons to not have a beer. At this point, any approach to normalcy is worth investigating.
You can make a plan to quit drinking, and quit drinking for good. Your own good. Are you ready to make a plan about continuing to use alcohol?
You can make a plan to quit drinking, and quit drinking for good. Your own good. Are you ready to make a plan about continuing to use alcohol?
However I know my behavior is absolutely disgusting and it will end one way or another.
The addiction just doesn't seem real though so I grasp at straws, I use reasons like seeing girls as reasons or vehicles to propel me to sobriety.
Sigh. I'm so confused about where I'm at right now.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Well maybe one day after 9 beers and driving you will cause a fatal accident. Then I am sure you will be ready but it will be too late. A DUI is the least of the potential problems.
Sobriety has so much to offer Make a plan and start a new life
Sobriety has so much to offer Make a plan and start a new life
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Anaheim CA
Posts: 22
Agreed......I respect the fact that you think you have a problem....but what you are saying is you are not the type who listens to his brain until it is way to late....good luck (unfortunately luck runs out), you will soon be in good company here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: MI
Posts: 102
Look man, I just want to not do this and I'm looking for advice on how to reach that goal when the incentive isn't quite there. I don't have a wife or kids or past arrests or alarming physical reactions to scare me to where I need to be. I just need to figure this out.
I think what I really need is a psychologist. Maybe that's why I'm venting on here.
I think what I really need is a psychologist. Maybe that's why I'm venting on here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,791
What I honestly suggest is you come here and read threads every day. After a bit of time you will see yourself now and your possible futures in them. There won't be 1 response in any 1 thread with 'the answer'.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by foolsgold66
Welcome.
A) Girls from the past are always trouble
B) You're one of us, social drinkers don't slam 9 beers driving home from work
C) A new girl won't help you get sober. More likely to make you get drunker
A) Girls from the past are always trouble
B) You're one of us, social drinkers don't slam 9 beers driving home from work
C) A new girl won't help you get sober. More likely to make you get drunker
In saying that, if the OP can use this girl's emergence on the scene to stop drinking for a while and start going to the gym more often than that is undoubtedly a positive outcome. Even if in the longrun it's not really dealing with the underlying alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
You should be absolutely terrified ashamed and awestruck at the fact that you would drink nine drinks in your vehicle and have been spared the horror of killing or maiming someone or yourself.
No one could convince me to stop drinking.
Sounds like you want some more consequences from drinking to scare you straight.
That's your choice, but for Gods sake, stay off the roads that my children travel on.
No one could convince me to stop drinking.
Sounds like you want some more consequences from drinking to scare you straight.
That's your choice, but for Gods sake, stay off the roads that my children travel on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Why would she be that interested in someone who doesn't care enough about themselves to at least try to give up? You know you've got a big problem otherwise even though the break from drink would still be a break . Go on for your life get sober work on that then perhaps people from your future might take an interest. Go on give up for the past and then carry on. Keep on here you will be able to with the right support and once things settle down the void left will be yours to fill with everything you ever wanted !! Well anything you would like to do!
Good luck John.
Good luck John.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
Drinking 8 beers on the way home on a 40 minute drive is one of the reasons I finally quit. Thats a beer every 5 minutes. It was like being in prison,because by the time I got home I was too drunk to do anything or see or talk to anybody.
I'm afraid your an awful lot like me,and you are going to find you can't quit. I also had a pretty physical job and worked off hangovers in a couple hours. (At least by lunch anyway). When 5 Oclock came I was going to the beer store and there were no two ways about it. I went through this cycle for 30 years.
I was almost 50 when I quit. You sound a lot younger. I hope you don't do like I did, and finally sober up. Realizing you spent a major part of your life drunk or hungover. What you might not realize is when your not drinking during the day. Booze is still running your life. It was mine anyway. I had to sober up a few months before I realized everything I did revolved around beer. I couldn't see that while I was still drinking.
I wish you the best.....
Fred
I'm afraid your an awful lot like me,and you are going to find you can't quit. I also had a pretty physical job and worked off hangovers in a couple hours. (At least by lunch anyway). When 5 Oclock came I was going to the beer store and there were no two ways about it. I went through this cycle for 30 years.
I was almost 50 when I quit. You sound a lot younger. I hope you don't do like I did, and finally sober up. Realizing you spent a major part of your life drunk or hungover. What you might not realize is when your not drinking during the day. Booze is still running your life. It was mine anyway. I had to sober up a few months before I realized everything I did revolved around beer. I couldn't see that while I was still drinking.
I wish you the best.....
Fred
Not angry just direct
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 257
Hi Spartan,
Two things mate:
1- Getting sober to get a girl is a false economy. It's the ego talking. Get sober for yourself.
2- If you drink & drive and kill someone you'll be in prison for a long time so you'll be the girl to a lot of very unpleasant men. Not forgetting that your internal pain level will increase beyond reckoning.
Think about that, eh, fella?
Two things mate:
1- Getting sober to get a girl is a false economy. It's the ego talking. Get sober for yourself.
2- If you drink & drive and kill someone you'll be in prison for a long time so you'll be the girl to a lot of very unpleasant men. Not forgetting that your internal pain level will increase beyond reckoning.
Think about that, eh, fella?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Ya. Stay off the roads. This is one of the reasons I have stayed quit. A dear friend's husband and infant daughter were killed by a drunk driver, and the carnage was horrific. The drunk driver died too. It is one thing to run with scissors, but another to play russian roulette with a small bomb that will destroy the lives of a dozen people. Give it one more spin and pull the trigger? I refuse to do that. What about you?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
" My initial thoughts are that this is a great time to stop drinking..."
IMO, not a good motive to stop drinking. wanting to stop this:
"I'm a naive, disgusting, irresponsible and flat-out dangerous human being at this point."
would be a better motive.
" I don't have a wife or kids or past arrests or alarming physical reactions to scare me to where I need to be."
how bout the fear of ending up in prison for killing someone while drunk? keep slammin them 9 pints down on the drive home and it could happen. it just hasn't happened Y.E.T.( You're Eligible Too).
causing the death of another human while drunk is something that happened to me and I don't wish it on anyone.
IMO, not a good motive to stop drinking. wanting to stop this:
"I'm a naive, disgusting, irresponsible and flat-out dangerous human being at this point."
would be a better motive.
" I don't have a wife or kids or past arrests or alarming physical reactions to scare me to where I need to be."
how bout the fear of ending up in prison for killing someone while drunk? keep slammin them 9 pints down on the drive home and it could happen. it just hasn't happened Y.E.T.( You're Eligible Too).
causing the death of another human while drunk is something that happened to me and I don't wish it on anyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"I do kind of wish my body would react a bit differently, a bit worse. I wish I could just -feel- the problem more. I don't physically feel the addiction. Because of this I don't respect the problem. Maybe it's because I work an extremely physical job burn loads of calories per day that my body manages this well."
if ya keep doin it, yer body will start being effected. I was a carpenter for a long time and used that excuse for a long time. it started happening eventually.
the great news is that you don't have to wait that long! and if you do,you may well wish you hadn't.
please don't wait that long to get help. ya gotta lotta good years left if ya don't wait.
and reading this:
"I'm just looking for anything I can utilize for a change because I feel like my body is betraying me and making this problem too easy to manage. "
tells me its already happening
if ya keep doin it, yer body will start being effected. I was a carpenter for a long time and used that excuse for a long time. it started happening eventually.
the great news is that you don't have to wait that long! and if you do,you may well wish you hadn't.
please don't wait that long to get help. ya gotta lotta good years left if ya don't wait.
and reading this:
"I'm just looking for anything I can utilize for a change because I feel like my body is betraying me and making this problem too easy to manage. "
tells me its already happening
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