Linz

Well, about six months anyways. I stopped toward the end of March when I found out about my pregnancy. I haven't had a drop since, and it has flown by. My baby's due at the end of November.
Since quitting drinking, there has been a LOT that has happened to me. (Found out the boyfriend was lying, mom received a breast cancer diagnosis, I have lost a lot of friends, and obviously, I have gotten rid of a lot of my bad habits.) Those are just some of the things that have happened over the passed six months.
I hear about people having "nervous breakdowns" a few months or a year after getting sober. Almost as if it's an eye opening experience, (their breakdown.) Something will happen like a job loss or getting arrested despite their quitting drinking. Some time after that, their eyes open! They can see clearly. Point being, I've heard that it takes time for the benefits of sobriety to kick in...
As for my question about it:
Today I am feeling a bit emotional. I am in my third trimester, so I'm sure hormonally, that has a lot to do with it. OTHER THAN THAT FACT, I am getting over my boyfriend's lies, my mother had the cancerous cysts removed, and we found out that the cancer has not spread, and I have started to reconnect with old friends. Today just feels very "eye opening." But what's odd is, it's not all in a good way... Should it be?
I have been so emotionally wrapped up in other people's business (the lies, the cancer,) that I have had hardly ANY time to think of myself during this pregnancy. Now that we have good news from the doctors about mom, and I'm starting to actually DEAL with the lies told by the boyfriend, I'm also starting to "feel myself." It feels weird.
During these six months though, staying sober has been really hard! There's no way that I would pick up... I am responsible for growing a life right now! The more I think about it, the more I have those thoughts that go: "When she's born, I will be a normal drinker..." Stopping for good still scares the daylights out of me!
Does this "eye opening" sound typical in sobriety? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, I hope I am! Anyhow, thanks for reading.

Amajorityofone

My .02

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Thus, try not to put energy into things which you have no control. The most important day will always be, today.

As for normal drinking....

1. I drank to get drunk, thus the idea of moderation has never appealed to me.

2. Like you, I am a young Father now. And now that I am, I don't want, or need, or allow, alcohol or drugs around my son. Your unborn child is like a mighty arrow. You are her Bow.

Aim well my sister.

Hope this helps.
Good luck and God Bless

doggonecarl

Six months sober. How wonderful, for you and your baby.

Yes, you have growing life. That responsibility extends past the birth. You have to be a mom, a sober mom, for many years to come. I've read some heartwrenching stories from mothers who pick up after their baby's birth. They go on to ruin their life, plus the lives of their kids.

Don't do it. Be strong.

GracieLou

I know exactly how you feel. I had six months sober yesterday. That is the longest time I have been sober in 26 years other than when I was pregnant with my kids.

I did not drink when I was pregnant, but I wanted to and it was one of the first things I did after they were born. At first it was just here and there as I had a newborn and all the work that goes with that does not allow for late night parties and Saturday binges.

I was drinking again pretty regularly when I got pregnant again. Rinse and repeat. No drinking while pregnant but again I drank again after.

As the years went by I drank whenever I could and the weekends the kids went to their dads I was letting loose. I looked forward to these no kid weekends so I could drink the way I wanted to.

As the kids got older and I had less responsibility with them, the more alcohol poured in. It happened so gradually that I was not even aware of it.

It starts with taking care of that baby 24/7 to them having sleep overs at friends houses, more time for me to drink. They could make their own lunch, more time for me to drink. They could wash their own clothes, more time for me to drink. They get a car and they our out being teenagers, more time for me to drink. Then they move out, more time for me to drink, the way I always wanted to. The responsibility I had because of the kids always kept my head just above water and I mean just above.

All of the responsibilities I had over the last 26 years kept me barely living. I managed but I managed everything around drinking. My kids, my marriages, my job, the housework and the shopping. Everything moved around the bottle. I could handle it all and cope as long as I had that relief. That escape. Sanity would say that as the responsibilities declined then so should the alcohol consumption. Less stress, less booze, it happens the opposite. The less responsibilities, more time for booze.

I tell people, be careful what you wish for. I got that time to finally drink the way I wanted to and it took two years but I fell right off the edge. My life had become unmanageable.

Now here I am, 44 years old. My kids are 23 and 25. I know I have heard it many times that it goes by so fast but when you are in the trenches, it does not seem that way. Well it does and I was drinking or drunk for all of it.

There are times I feel guilty. Why am I sober now? Why did this moment of clarity come now? Why not 20 years ago when it could have made such a difference in my life and their lives? I cannot answer that, nobody can.

My advice is to get some type of recovery going. Whether it is AA or something else. Once the responsibility of that baby comes, running to the bottle will happen. I was not sober those nine months, I was just not drinking.