Wishful78

Jsbodhi thank you. I am looking forward to staying away from this and settling back in to reality. I get so tired of having to think about it. Plan out how I will get loaded. Or how I will try not to. It seems like a no brainer. Just remove the booze. But we all know on here that's not so simple. Maybe it finally can be

Coldfusion

It's good to see that you made it back, Wishful!

Never forget that there are many who don't make it, and we could go that way too very easily. I hope you do whatever is necessary for a permanent recovery.

Jsbodhi

Oh god, the thinking about it is like a full time job!!!
It gets easier though, it just kinda goes away if that makes any sense.
New hobbies, ideas, lifestyle, routine kinda just become normal, and the drinking slips further to the backburner- still there sometimes, but not a bloody daylong obsession.
Xoxo
At least that's how it worked for me.
Took a year of relapses though, it hasn't come easy.
I was a wine binge drinker

Arbor

Wow, hey wishful. This IS an old thread. Was very cool to read through again to see where my head was at over two years ago.

Just sounds like to me you gotta make a commitment and stick with it. Things become a lot easier once you do. Accept the problem and move on. Consider it a major life improvement not a loss.

I have two kids too. That second one really signified change for me. I had to do something. Two years of relapses and slips and I'd had enough again. I'm now six months in and have never felt better.

You don't want to be that drunk Dad. You can do it. It's very possible. Good luck.

Wishful78

No Arbor I don't want to be that drunk dad.

Dee74

Welcome back Wishful

I think if you've demonstrated time and again that drinking is not good for you, and there's been no improvement since last you posted, I think it is dangerous to continue drinking.

You may be lulled into the false sense of security that you have no desire to drink, but watch how that changes after the first drink or two...

Your wife and child deserve a sober partner and Dad, right?

Noones doomed to be an alcoholic if they don't want to be

what about coming back here to change your life rather than vent about he one you have?

D

MIRecovery

Millions have tried. Millions have failed. Maybe you will be the first alcoholic in history that can drink normally again but statistically I'd say the odds are against you

Wishful78

Thanks Dee and MI Recovery. I have spoken to my wife and I was being very dramatic with all of this I fell off hard due to all of the things going on. As we all know the hangover can bring some of the worst depression we can endure. So I needed someone and I came back here. And I am thankful for everyone giving me opinions. I am, however, taking this as a sign I need to change things in life to be the person I need to be. The longest I have gone completely sober the past few years was 3 months. There have been many full sober months here and there in between through out the years too. Usually on account of a drunken experience I wasn't happy with so I stay away. I also stayed away from booze for 2 months before pregnancy. After that I had some time there where I felt very in control. Was able to keep my drinking to a minimum and pretty controlled. But obviously I dropped the ball. Beyond pregnancy there are many other things going on in our lives. It's just not excusable for me to be drunk and unavailable. The way I am dedicating to change for now is first and foremost trying to beat that 3 month sober. And maybe that will turn to 6 months etc. But I am starting today. Being the 3rd day. I am going back in to full therapy and keeping up with the sober people in my life. I can't get fully away from the alcoholics in my life. I live with them on the road most of the year. And there is a lot of work coming up and I need it. So I just have to do my best. Last night they had a huge party night after the show but I went to my bunk on the bus and went to sleep. I just can't be around it if I'm not indulging at least not right now. I have been to AA meetings before and it just was not for me. I am not totally counting it out though. I thank everyone here for their support. I may not post as much but I get a lot of insight and inspiration here. As we all know it has to come from ourselves so I am going to spend this time really searching within myself. Without the booze it's a lot easier to look at it all.

FBL

Wishful, if you truly want to stop and stay stopped, you'll find plenty of support here. I wish you well.

Wishful78

Thanks former beer lover as I said coming here really has done a lot for me. I have definitely failed and stumbled since being on here but it's also prevented many stumbles too. Sometimes just signing in and realizing why I ever even signed is enough to decide against that first drink.

Wishful78

Yesterday I posted this on one of my other threads figured I should post here as well. Makes just as much sense in this thread. Here I am at over 3 months sober. Its now even clearer that if alcohol is not something I can have in my life I will be able to go on without it and not struggle a lot. I will say that just like the last time I took extensive sober time I have solidified yet again AA is not for me. I have been to meetings. I have spoken and been to readings as well. I have very close family and friends in AA. Unfortunately they may even be the reason for some of the dislike I have for it. I just don't like how it rules their life. But it's how alcohol ruled their life so I definitely understand. Would rather it be AA of course. Alcohol just doesn't run my life that way. So as of now it's not for me. I would never say never to anything though. I do feel like I need to come here and be honest. If anything coming on here has helped me more then any of it. I don't know if I am done. I know I won't drink today. Or tomorrow. But just know myself and that now that I have some sobriety under my belt I may try again. But I don't know. In this time I have had pretty much everyone in my life say "just go ahead and have a drink". My wife, friends, family. All of them. Not the sober people though of course. A lot of sober people tend to act out in similar ways of the drunk people with their mingling. They like the company of other sober people to sit and watch the really drunk people and reassure each other that it's what they are so glad is out of their lives. Or that they never have to deal with. Just like the drunks like to sit and look at each other all loaded and loath the sober people. It's quite an interesting game. The insecurities and projections that go on are very similar to the skinny/fat fit/unfit human reactions. That's not everyone in either community though there are people that are very in touch with them selves and don't act out that way. Matter of fact you can find a lot of them here.
I write this today because I know everyone comes on here to be honest. Dishonesty is counterproductive. And it's nice to look at myself in relation to others in these posts. And also have a detailed time line in my posts. If I come here in 2 months/ a year or even 5 years and I am hungover distraught over my decisions with alcohol I will be able to track my progress and digression. But for today I am sober. And will stay that way. Hope everyone is doing well. And doing what is best for themselves.

FBL

Wishful, glad things seem to be working out for you.

Wishful78

Thank you FormerBeerLover. All is well in my world today. Hope all is well in your world as well.

thomas11

Just keep doing what you feel is right. Things seem to be going well, I wouldn't mess with the formula.

Wishful78

Thank you Thomas 11 I am figuring it all out as I go. Hope all is well for you.

Arbor

All we have is today, wishful. I can't predict whether or not I'll drink again, but I do know today that I won't. It's as simple as that, really.

Im glad you have figured out what works for you. There are so many resources for help out there these days.