Feeling down
 

I am sorry to post, I am sure there are people with way worse problems than mine.

I am going through a lot of family stuff right now. Illness, death and problems with my mom.

It's after midnight here and I am in bed with a book and a cup of camomile tea.

I kinda feel like I should be doing something...I don't know what exactly. I never went to bars or nightclubs even when I was drinking. I seem to be in bed early most nights, with a book or two.

Maybe part of this stems from the fact that my uncle is dying. He is not that old...my parents would be older.

Also, I will be 33 in one months time. I have been thinking about this a lot. I am an unemployed, recovering alcoholic, living with my parents. I finished college yet again in May and have been sending out CVs. But I feel like a giant loser. I feel like I haven't accomplished a lot in life yet. There are things I still want to do...travel and that.

My dad says things like "baby steps" and "Rome wasn't built in a day".

Sometimes I meet girls I was at school with years ago, and they seem to have their lives together. I just feel really, really lost right now.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I love this site, it helps to know that I am not alone.

Love and hugs to all of you x

the grass is always greener on the other side. that fact you competed you second degree is an accomplishment i love to have.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Tetra. You've accomplished much with your studies. And many of us wish we'd have been strong enough to correct our drinking problems when were were as young as 33.

I understand. I didn't graduate from college until age 35, I felt like I was way behind. I think we all feel that way from time to time, and things like Facebook don't help!! People only seem to brag about the good stuff going on, and keep their challenges on the down low.

Don't get discouraged. Things will get better for you, you will find your way. Stay the course, keep doing the next right thing everyday. The days of doing right will pile up, and the next thing you know miracles will start to happen.

Peace and Love.

Action is the key. In recovery I am finding it one thing to gain knowledge, but now what. There is an amazing life with unlimited opportunities, but it starts with action. Everyday work towards your dreams...you will get there - you sound like a wonderful person.

I have those nights too. Hugs. It sounds to me like you did the best thing. Got into bed with a book and some tea and shared honestly here. It's a gift to others to let them know they are not the only one's feeling lost or discouraged.

I find it a blessing that the only life I am required to live or can live is my own. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you and I both are sober. Some days life just feels sad and scary.

Hi Tetra, I'm glad you posted. So I can tell you that you are among friends here. I'm glad you are recovering. Keep going. Congratulations on finishing school. Well done.

I'm 31. I am lucky and grateful that I have a job and my own place. But I thought by now I'd be married to a nice women and have a few kids. Instead, I sit in church basements everyday and deal with this horrible disease. I think, "who would want to date me now, given my history?" But I have faith that if I stay sober and work my program, then I will get what I want out of life. I don’t think I'm asking for too much. I need to keep practicing patience and fortitude. I need to be grateful for what I do have and not sad about what I do not. I need to not compare myself to others but just compare the progress I personally have made during my sobriety.

Focus on what you have already accomplished. Push yourself to be proud of what you've achieved.

And listen to your dad! :)

I understand completely. I first quit drinking a year ago I had no job experience and was just starting to apply for jobs and I only just found one 4 months ago. Not my dream job but still an actual job. I too feel down on myself a lot because I haven't accomplished much by my age. I see my old classmates that have so much more. But I try and remember baby steps things do change slowly not always when I want them to but eventually they do.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. It means a lot to me.

Hope everybody is having a good start to the week.

Love and hugs,
Tetra.

Hey Tetra, I'm in your EXACT same boat. I'm 30/m, and I moved back in with my parents a year ago. Because of my drinking/drugs, I finished college very late. All my friends have jobs, careers, and a family. Basically, they have their sh*t together. I am unemployed, and have been for a long time. Because of relapses, it's been nearly impossible for me to do anything productive. I have been sober for almost six months now, and I'm finally getting the ball rolling on prospective jobs. I feel like i'm so far behind compared to others. I'm working on my resume, and I feel so embarrassed and lost because of the lack of experience I have. I also have past legal troubles that lowers my self-esteem when I look at prospective jobs.

For a long time, even before my last relapse, I would make up so many excuses as to why I don't have a job. I have and still live in fear, but nothing starts unless you take the first step. Even if it's a baby step, the ball will start rolling. First thing I did was go to a job center, and see what they could do for me. It wasn't much and it didn't guarantee anything, but it gave me a sense of relief that I actually was productive. I really needed that feeling of being productive because I was really hiding behind the fear. My aunt recently told me that you can't expect every situation to be perfect otherwise you'll always be stuck waiting. This was exactly what I was doing. I still do it, but it's something I'm working on. Before going to the job center, I would not even look at job applications because I would already say to myself that they don't want to hire me because I have no experience and I have a criminal record. This just kept me from even taking baby steps.

I'm not even close to being a success story, but going from hopeless to a little hopeful is a huge step for me. Life isn't grand right now, and I'm with you on that one, however, it's going to stay this way unless we get the ball moving. Just remember, you aren't alone in this exact situation. We started a little late in life, and that's okay. There is no rule that says we have to do certain things by a certain time. I guess this is why they say suggest not to compare yourself to others.

I live in the US, so i'm not sure how Ireland works, but I suggest looking at the gov't job resource center first. Make an appointment to talk to someone.

rome wasnt burnt in a day either. It takes a long time for us to screw our selves up it can take a while to heal ourselves too but in time we can all get better and heal. Its amazing how the body can work.

I'm not much older then you I got a carreer a wife kids a home etc... by many peoples standards i've made something of myself etc.. And yeah i guess i have but it is not all its cracked up to be. I see your in ireland I could also sit here and be upset and feel bad that I have never been there and would love to go there. I'll probably never get to go to a place like that. You living there might be thinking whats so grand about ireland?

Sometimes its just our perspective is off and we need to focus on what we have and be greatful. Its easier to be greatful and thankful.

hang in there it will get better.

Tetra, first :You_Rock_

What you have accomplished is no small feat! It takes a lot of strength and will to get and remain sober. You have every right to have ups and downs. We all do.

Glad that you came here to post

:hug: