blackoutgirl

Hey guys, today is close to a month sober. I thought I'd write and note my progress. The "shakes" in my hands has finally subsided completely, thank goodness. It took a few weeks but they are gone. The dark circles under my eyes have drastically faded also. Plus, I can't sleep in anymore. I'm usually up before my alarm on work days and even on my days off, I'm out of bed by 7am. I've never been a morning person...ever.

I had a different mind set the last time I quit drinking. I've thought a lot about where I went wrong. I realized that I hadn't made up my mind about long term sobriety at all. At the time, I had quite a few people "on my back" about quitting and there were ultimatums looming over my head. I had almost lost my BF as well as my best friend. As a result, I had quit drinking for everyone else, and not myself.

As soon as someone suggested that I had done well and should try to moderate, my alcoholic self jumped at the opportunity and let go immediately. And as time passed, I started to drink more before friends came over to keep up the appearance that I was still doing well with "just a few."

I had talked myself out of the fact that I'm an alcoholic and always will be. Now that I've acknowledged my patterns of drinking over the years, there's no way to deny it anymore.

When I was drinking all the time, I used to have dreams of being healthy, eating healthy, being active, etc. I'd wake up feeling depressed and hung over knowing that my dreams were far from the person that I wanted to be. It was like a part of my brain didn't want to accept what I was doing to my body. I had those dreams quite often. Since I've quit, almost a month ago, I've started to have scattered dreams of running...maybe this is also a sign. I haven't ran in almost 5 years.

I'll close for now. Just thought I'd share my thoughts and check in.

misspond

That's wonderful to read blackoutgirl. I look forward to reading about your continued sobriety in the months and years to come x

Gottalife

Well done. It sounds like you've got it sussed. Keep us posted

robgt350

hay blackoutgirl
i think that was the part that really got me to stop drinking. i had to do it for my self not for other people. i had to do some looking at my self and find my evils. i had to set goals for my self. sounds like you are doing so great. just keep doing some soul seeking and goal setting. i plan to do it. i will soon be 10 months sober.
congratulations blackoutgirl!!!

Hevyn

Proud of you blackoutgirl! Look at you - up at 7am! You're really doing this thing & it'll keep getting better.

Dee74

Congrats on your month Blackoutgirl - thats fantastic

D

Sudz No More

Keep up the great work girl!

Kathleen41

Yea!! Way to go!! Thanks for sharing with us, happy for you.

Levitz

Start running!,
Exercise is the one of the cornerstones of by sobriety
It feels like I get the opportunity to meditate while ( mountain biking for me) and it really helps my mood
Start.
Great job on a month !!!

jutam

When I was drinking all the time I use to dream of a life where I woke up happy, and I felt good and I didn't think about drinking, and did the stuff other people do.
Last sunday, I went to the gym, did a meditation class, had lunch in the park by the pond in the sun , went out for coffee etc.....
Im living it... I wanted it I just didn't think I could do it.... but the weeks mount up and here I am... Keep going... and don't stop... you can live your dream for the reminder to have gratitude for that:-)