EndGameNYC

Many people found it helpful to go to rehab following detox. Usually provides a safe place where newly-sober people can heal.

Bostonsportsfan

What would I expect from rehab? I know there are in and out patient options, at this point I'd almost wanna go somewhere for 14 days and learn to live a sober live.

EndGameNYC

This largely depends on your attitude and thinking going in.

At the very least, rehab can be a safe place where you can work on your sobriety without all the internal and external distractions and crises that often come with early sobriety. The only thing you have to think about is you.

You'll be living with other people trying to kick alcohol and drugs. You'll be treated with respect, and you'll have trained professionals as caregivers and guides to a better life. And, when you leave, you'll be in a much better position to succeed. It's all up to you.

Bostonsportsfan

I mean going to detox was tough as it gets for me I'm all for being sober. I think going some where for 7-14 days would help me get started. Did you ever go to rehab?

EndGameNYC

Yes. Following my three-year relapse that ended just over two years ago, I couldn't function on my own, so I had little choice but to drag what little was left of me to detox. My plan to die as an active alcoholic had failed. Or at least was postponed.

The five days that I was continually drugged up in detox were the best five days of my life in the three years leading to my collapse.

My plan, both in detox and rehab, was to get back on my feet ASAP so that I could continue drinking. But rehab was also an oasis for me. No worries, no deadlines to meet, and no drinking. Plenty of support. The terrible readings for my blood and my internal organs that were taken when I entered detox were back within normal limits when I left rehab. Though I don't recommend what's needed to get into rehab, it helped save my life.

Bostonsportsfan

**** dude never would of thought that's how it went for you by your supporting nature. I can relate the 6 days I was drugged were the best days for me in awhile, I finally felt like my life could be alcohol free. How long was your rehab? I'm leaning towards something 7-14 days or maybe even out patient if it's the better option.

EndGameNYC

Thanks. Not everyone here would agree with your assessment.

I totally get that. I begged for them to keep me in detox longer, but it wasn't meant to be. The way I was feeling at the time, I'd have consented to staying for a year had it been offered.

We all know that everyone is different. But it's difficult for me to imagine that each of us can't benefit from live support. All of your stated options sound good to me.

Time to start doing some research and making some calls.

Bostonsportsfan

Yeah already am. Everything in my area is 30+ days or out patient, so out patient will probably be the way I go. I think it would be enough, be able to get help but still come home to my friends and family and sleep in my own bed.

freshstart57

Boston, you can't change the crap that happened to you and the crap that you did. But you can leave it all behind you by never doing it again. Ever. No matter what. If you are sober you can move forward and get to work and build your life into what you want it to be. There will be some changes, and they have to fit into the life of a person who doesn't drink, they have to fit into your life, and you get to choose.

Congratulations to you. Onward!

Bls57

Hey Boston,
I know what you mean about up and down with the feelings.... I am 16 days sober today and I still get panic attacks every day when I come home from work because that is when I would plop down on the couch and watch TV. Something must change!!!

For me I now come home and don't go near the tv, because I know it's a trigger. Instead I clean the kitchen (which always seems to need it), read a book, log on here to read the forums, take the dogs for a walk... ANYTHING to change the routine I had gotten myself into. I strongly encourage you to do the same. You will find that there is plenty to do to over one boredom, but your AV will tell you "hey let's just relax..."

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I would suggest that the same holds true for drinking and using. If there are not radical changes in your daily lifestyle patterns it will be even harder to stay away from the stuff. This past weekend I read 3books....I haven't read a book for years! But it was actually fun and relaxing....and I wasn't watching tv and drinking. I also found that my mood swings happened when I forgot to eat something at least every three hours. If I got hungry I wanted a drink. This is an easy fix, and once I discovered the problem I set my phone to remind me every three hours to eat something, whether I was hungry at the time or not.

Hang in there. Look for things you used to like to do before drinking and try those again. I have also found a great deal of help by visiting these forums and chat room to get support from others' experiences.

TucTee

I still do all the stuff I used to: go to bars, watching sports with friends, etc. I just drink something else than beer (iced tea, soda, water). If bars, sports, etc. are going to be a trigger early on, avoid it for now and watch the games at home. However, I've been successful so far just jumping back into that scene and staying dry. I don't really go to parties anymore, but I stick to the same menu when I go to one.

It's a matter of setting boundaries. Your friends just need to understand you won't be drinking. If they hassle you about it, let them. But stay focused on your own goals.

BreakTheCycle

I found exercise to be hugely beneficial on multiple fronts, it helped with the boredom, the anxiety and definitely the sleep! Getting motivated to do it can be tough, but I've never regretted it once I've managed to get off the couch and go to the gym or go outside for a run.

Bostonsportsfan

Yeah I actually bought some cans of mountain dew so it would be like opening a can of something that wasn't beer.

Problem is my friends think I'll be able to casually drink in the future once I'm sober for awhile and maybe I could, but I don't know at this point. I don't think I can ever really drink again because my love for alcohol.

Bostonsportsfan

My biggest issue right now is my friend from the army is coming home on the 28th and were going to a concert on the 1st. Not sure what to do. I wont have fun if I'm sober, but can't really back out either.

EndGameNYC

According to your terms of engagement, the fact that you're going to drink is entirely unambiguous.

I don't know how many times I've read here something along the lines of "I can't really back out," when the person posting the comment then returns to report their unimaginable despair after spending the day/night/weekend drinking during some activity or event that they insisted was impossible for them to "back out of." Either that, or they simply disappeared from SR.

Your priorities here are way out of whack.

Gottalife

I really appreciate your honesty and openess BSF. Endgame is telling you the truth though. Your biggest issue right now isn't your friend, it is whether you will survive this disease or not.

I can relate also to your feeling you can't have fun sober. That was true for me too. One of the reasons I didn't want to stop was that being sober was no fun at all. But that changed. Now I have as much fun as I can handle.

I relate also when you talked about feeling guilty for things you did. Shows you have a conscience and some good values in there somewhere, and those were the things that eventually motivated me to ask for help, and be willing to accept it. Only a psycho/sociopath could just walk away from those things and not look back. I found I had to do my utmost to repair the damage I did if I wanted to hold my head up again. I also found, in the process, that the things that I hoped would never see the light of day actually became very useful in helping others.

Rehab is a great thing for getting started, but it won't keep you sober. Something more is required. Of my last treatment, we had 10 in our group, when we left 2 went to AA and stayed sober. The rest of us didn't and got drunk. 2 years later I went to AA, without rehab, and recovered. By then the other seven were all dead. None were able to stay sober on rehab alone. We have a Salvation Army treatment program these days and they tell their patients the success rate on treatment alone is 2%, which I believe would be about the same as no treatment at all.

The point you raise about fun is actually very important and for me is one reason AA is so sucessful. Life for me in AA has been thoroughly enjoyable, apart from the rough patches that come along for everyone.

Some kind of program that helps you to live and enjoy each day seems vital to permanent recovery, at least for alcoholics of my type.

Bostonsportsfan

Just being honest. He's a good friend and backing out would be mean, yet there will be tons of alcohol so it'll be very hard not to drink. I could go in with the mindset of not drinking and be broken by temptation, I'd rather avoid temptation. I think I'll just just strong and have a good time sober. It just worries me. I'm not gonna drink, I'll either just let him know the temptation will be too much and to give my ticket to my other friend or be strong and go, one or the other. As I said it just worries me.

copernicus

BSF, do you really want to risk the progress you've made to go to one concert w/ a friend? To me skipping this isn't mean, it's the rational thing to do. Does your friend know your alcoholism situation? I think if your problem was serious enough to check into a week long detox, this decision you are making seems silly.

Bostonsportsfan

Your right and he does know about my drinking, but not the detox since he's away. Only reason I'm considering it is because he's been one of my best friends since 1st grade and we only get to see each other a couple times a year now. I do plan to skip it unless I can man up and go sober. It would upset him if I didn't go, but if I told him about the detox and how bad the drinking really got, he will understand it's in my best interests not to go.

Bostonsportsfan

Well made it to day 11, it's really just ups and downs. Never too horrible, never too great. I can be be relaxed throughout the day and haven't been having problems sleeping. I'm gonna go to the concert sober because going to Boston to a concert with my friends would be fun either way, hell beats a night in southern Maine. Small chance I change my mind if if I don't feel I can handle it that day, which would be my 18-19th day sober. I think the trip would be a fun way to get my mind off things.