Well I *almost* made it a week
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Yes I agree with the fine line between dependence and full blown alcoholism. That's why I'm here - to be honest and look at my issues. I have done fine the past couple days. I don't crave it at all actually. Boredom is an absolutely stupid excuse though you are right.
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early on I didnt crave it it was just something fun and enjoyable to do on a friday evening and or saturday night. I binged of course and it progressed from there. towards the end of my drinking days I couldnt suck back those first few drinks fast enough to take the edge off. I'd literally moan and thank god as i drank the first couple every evening. *sigh*.
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I suppose what I am trying to reconcile within myself is like, there are plenty of people who have a glass of wine most evenings and are not an alcoholic. There are plenty of people who drink too much on occasion "for fun" (bad as that sounds) that aren't alcoholics. Am I "ok" or not. I really do not know yet. More than anything I really did feel like it was a pure habit to drink a couple glasses of wine in the evening to unwind and that the fact that it was an every night habit was surely unhealthy. But do I need to label myself an alcoholic for it and abstain for life or can I just knock it off a while and go back to drinking my wine here and there instead like I used to. Again it's often hard when I think I'm harder on myself than I need to be at times, then my husband is "easier" on me than he should be because he does love and accept me, and yes because his mom's 12 pack a night type habit screams problem while 2 glasses of wine a night with occasional overindulgence says 'eh whatever' to him. I do admit I have been dealing with depression and anxiety in general and have wanted to consider going back on meds (was able to wean off of them years ago for mild depression, didn't like how the meds made me feel). Wine kinda "took the edge off" in small quantities and let me avoid taking meds that numbed me. I'm rambling. As usual 
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You could be self medicateing to a degree with the wine. It could be as harmless as someone who takes a simple sleeping pill to get to bed at night for you. You could be over complicateing it all together. Keep in mind the perspective you'll get from this board is one from a bunch of alcoholics. I went to a vegan board and started to feel like I was a screw up because I enjoyed a steak now and then but its the perspective of that board.
Ultimatly you have to figure out you. All we can do is tell ya from our expierence stuff to watch out for. Its sounds to me like you have to watch out for the progression of this and keep the binges in check. If it becomes to difficult or you find yourself dwelling on it too much trying to get a handle on it I'd say yeah it might be a problem and cutting it out all together might not be a bad idea.
My wifes mother drank daily bottle of wine or 2 you'd never even know it she held her booze pretty dang well. At the time I could drink and if she poured me a vodka I was toast but she'd have plenty of those and be just fine. She was half my size practicly and could probably out drink me any day and still totally drive a car and carry on a normal conversation with out slurring. She would however get mean and nasty. She also felt her drinking was normal just kicking back in the evening. She says now she only drinks on the weekends she has it in check, so she says etc.. Anyone who knows her knows shes either lieing and still drinking daily or shes binging each weekend. Either way its pretty apparent shes an alcoholic but she has no idea that its an issue. Of course she drinks ions more then you do.
You have to be mindful of it which it seems your doing. I never thought I was an alcoholic. I was also afraid of the "label" it has a stigma to it. But its almost liek a badge of honor now. In many ways i'm pretty happy to be an alcoholic its helped me in many other areas of life simply learning how to overcome booze etc...
Ultimatly you have to figure out you. All we can do is tell ya from our expierence stuff to watch out for. Its sounds to me like you have to watch out for the progression of this and keep the binges in check. If it becomes to difficult or you find yourself dwelling on it too much trying to get a handle on it I'd say yeah it might be a problem and cutting it out all together might not be a bad idea.
My wifes mother drank daily bottle of wine or 2 you'd never even know it she held her booze pretty dang well. At the time I could drink and if she poured me a vodka I was toast but she'd have plenty of those and be just fine. She was half my size practicly and could probably out drink me any day and still totally drive a car and carry on a normal conversation with out slurring. She would however get mean and nasty. She also felt her drinking was normal just kicking back in the evening. She says now she only drinks on the weekends she has it in check, so she says etc.. Anyone who knows her knows shes either lieing and still drinking daily or shes binging each weekend. Either way its pretty apparent shes an alcoholic but she has no idea that its an issue. Of course she drinks ions more then you do.
You have to be mindful of it which it seems your doing. I never thought I was an alcoholic. I was also afraid of the "label" it has a stigma to it. But its almost liek a badge of honor now. In many ways i'm pretty happy to be an alcoholic its helped me in many other areas of life simply learning how to overcome booze etc...
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You could be self medicateing to a degree with the wine. It could be as harmless as someone who takes a simple sleeping pill to get to bed at night for you. You could be over complicateing it all together. Keep in mind the perspective you'll get from this board is one from a bunch of alcoholics. I went to a vegan board and started to feel like I was a screw up because I enjoyed a steak now and then but its the perspective of that board.
Yep that's my quandry - is it OK that 2 glasses of wine serve the same purpose as a sleeping pill or anti anxiety med without leaving me cloudy? Maybe, maybe not. I at least am positive that I don't want it to be the "crutch" that it was. I started googling random things like How often do you think or How much wine is OK or Do I drink too much etc and ended up here and I like the different perspectives. I am not necessarily afraid of the label of alcoholic I just don't want to stigmatize myself internally if it's not necessarily so. I took a few "Are you an alcoholic" type screening quizzes and got very low scores and wasn't able to say "yes" to many questions. However there is no one size fits all for every person and every habit.
Yep that's my quandry - is it OK that 2 glasses of wine serve the same purpose as a sleeping pill or anti anxiety med without leaving me cloudy? Maybe, maybe not. I at least am positive that I don't want it to be the "crutch" that it was. I started googling random things like How often do you think or How much wine is OK or Do I drink too much etc and ended up here and I like the different perspectives. I am not necessarily afraid of the label of alcoholic I just don't want to stigmatize myself internally if it's not necessarily so. I took a few "Are you an alcoholic" type screening quizzes and got very low scores and wasn't able to say "yes" to many questions. However there is no one size fits all for every person and every habit.
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How long have you been having two glasses every night for? It seems to me that this would most likely progress overtime. At some point two glasses would not give the same effect then your up to a bottle a night. Speaking from lots of experience here with wine.
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Arbor8 - I would say that I had been having at least 2 glasses a night (and on occasion more but rarely more as of late) for at least the last 3 months. But had been drinking consistently for the past 3 years, at least 4-5 nights a week, and I used to binge more when I "started" drinking 3 years ago. Didn't often feel a need to drink "more" in the past year, just "had to have" at least that moderate amount.
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My goal is abstain until I am fairly positive that I won't slip back into nightly dependence and then drink in moderation, likely just socially. Like I have never ever had an issue of going to dinner and having a drink, or at a party or social event, it's the boredom of drinking alone etc. I feel that at this point I have almost made it the 30 days I wanted to but will continue to abstain for a while yet.
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Susan, I'd like to recommend Allan Carrs, "Easy Way to Control Alcohol"
It has a different perspective, and addresses the concerns you have.
I found it in the library last winter, It had a big impact on me. However I didn't actually stop drinking until I found SR. Others here have also spoken positively about the book.
It has a different perspective, and addresses the concerns you have.
I found it in the library last winter, It had a big impact on me. However I didn't actually stop drinking until I found SR. Others here have also spoken positively about the book.
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