missing meetings a bad idea
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
missing meetings a bad idea
I learned the hardway that going to only way that going to only two meetings a week is bad for me I only had time for two this week because of work it wasn't possible to make more. I was feeling really moody yesterday and this morning and just resentful at coworkers and the job in general. I went to two meetings this morning because I happened to have the time and don't have to work till 6pm and I feel so much better. I am meeting with my sponsor next Thursday for lunch to go over some step work with her and a worksheet my therapist gave me. I hope I never relapse again the last time I went two weeks without meetings and decided to take a drink and that was a bad idea.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi Anoronha.
I'm so happy you posted this comment. What's true for you was true for me in early sobriety.
What many people here who avoid live support -- such as is readily available in AA -- are missing is what for me was a tremendous bump in self esteem, a way to battle my intense feelings of loneliness, and a great way to build a reliable support system. I got out of myself, and was far less miserable than otherwise. Somewhere along the way, I started to get serious about getting sober, and allowed other sober people to help me through. And now I live what some people have called "a charmed life." I want for very little in life. I don't see how I could have accomplished any of this by sitting home by myself, or making superficial connections with a couple of people each week who patted me on the back for my abstinence. I needed to work at it as hard as I've worked for anything valuable to me in my life. I don't care how much my Mom, my boss or my mailman was supportive of me getting sober; their cheers of support could never be enough for me to remain safe and sane.
We see it all the time here: "I don't like people." "I'm afraid of what people will think about me." "I don't like groups." "I hate people." "I'm an atheist." "I don't have the time." "I don't want anyone knowing I have a problem with alcohol." "There's too much talk about God." Add to this growing list of excuses the infinite preconceptions regarding what AA is and isn't, and there's always a good reason not to go. AA isn't for everyone, but boy oh boy does it work when we make a commitment to get sober.
Too many people continue to isolate themselves in early sobriety, believing that getting real help will in some way hurt or humiliate them. Never bothered me what people thought when I woke up half naked on my neighbor's lawn, or when I made a bloody fool of myself in public. Newly sober, we're suddenly sensitive to every little bodily twitch.
I imagine people sitting alone in their rooms, or pacing, reading the comments here and feeling increasingly miserable with each passing day. Being abstinent is never enough. Cheering each day without a drink is empty and ultimately meaningless without doing the necessary work to live a sober life. And when we don't do the work, we forfeit the luxury of bemoaning our misery. Without doing the work, all we've done is buy some dry time. With any other major affliction, we'd seek out help. Why is it that so many of us are determined to get sober in relative isolation?
I don't push AA here or anywhere else. My experience has been that there's a tremendous amount of support available at meetings, lots of laughter, and care and concern that are freely given.
If you're determined to stay locked in your mother's basement for the rest of your life -- or if you're just sitting around waiting for that magical "Aha!" moment that never comes, then I'm afraid your chances of staying sober are poor. Neither AA nor sobriety are magic. You don't get sober by staying at home and hoping for the best. Nor do you get sober by sitting in a chair in a church basement. People get better by making connections with other people who are struggling with or have recovered from alcoholism, by learning how others got sober, and by accepting help and continuing to work on all these things. There are no shortcuts.
I don't make the rules; I just reap the benefits of cooperating with them in my own recovery.
I'm so happy you posted this comment. What's true for you was true for me in early sobriety.
What many people here who avoid live support -- such as is readily available in AA -- are missing is what for me was a tremendous bump in self esteem, a way to battle my intense feelings of loneliness, and a great way to build a reliable support system. I got out of myself, and was far less miserable than otherwise. Somewhere along the way, I started to get serious about getting sober, and allowed other sober people to help me through. And now I live what some people have called "a charmed life." I want for very little in life. I don't see how I could have accomplished any of this by sitting home by myself, or making superficial connections with a couple of people each week who patted me on the back for my abstinence. I needed to work at it as hard as I've worked for anything valuable to me in my life. I don't care how much my Mom, my boss or my mailman was supportive of me getting sober; their cheers of support could never be enough for me to remain safe and sane.
We see it all the time here: "I don't like people." "I'm afraid of what people will think about me." "I don't like groups." "I hate people." "I'm an atheist." "I don't have the time." "I don't want anyone knowing I have a problem with alcohol." "There's too much talk about God." Add to this growing list of excuses the infinite preconceptions regarding what AA is and isn't, and there's always a good reason not to go. AA isn't for everyone, but boy oh boy does it work when we make a commitment to get sober.
Too many people continue to isolate themselves in early sobriety, believing that getting real help will in some way hurt or humiliate them. Never bothered me what people thought when I woke up half naked on my neighbor's lawn, or when I made a bloody fool of myself in public. Newly sober, we're suddenly sensitive to every little bodily twitch.
I imagine people sitting alone in their rooms, or pacing, reading the comments here and feeling increasingly miserable with each passing day. Being abstinent is never enough. Cheering each day without a drink is empty and ultimately meaningless without doing the necessary work to live a sober life. And when we don't do the work, we forfeit the luxury of bemoaning our misery. Without doing the work, all we've done is buy some dry time. With any other major affliction, we'd seek out help. Why is it that so many of us are determined to get sober in relative isolation?
I don't push AA here or anywhere else. My experience has been that there's a tremendous amount of support available at meetings, lots of laughter, and care and concern that are freely given.
If you're determined to stay locked in your mother's basement for the rest of your life -- or if you're just sitting around waiting for that magical "Aha!" moment that never comes, then I'm afraid your chances of staying sober are poor. Neither AA nor sobriety are magic. You don't get sober by staying at home and hoping for the best. Nor do you get sober by sitting in a chair in a church basement. People get better by making connections with other people who are struggling with or have recovered from alcoholism, by learning how others got sober, and by accepting help and continuing to work on all these things. There are no shortcuts.
I don't make the rules; I just reap the benefits of cooperating with them in my own recovery.
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