rowd44

My addiction and my career were building up at the exact same time. So as I was growing, climbing the corporate ladder; learning new skills; taking on leadership and responsibility and acquiring & developing business and at the exact same time this success was happening my addiction was growing. I usually hear opposite stories. Can anyone identify with this? It kept my in denial unfortunately.

Kathleen41

Yes. Earned 2 degrees, received 3 promotions, and passed a national board exam, over a period of ten years. All the while my alcoholism was progressing rapidly. It kept me in denial big time!! So did the sucessful husband, house in upper middle class neighborhood, money in the bank, etc.

Thankfully, in a moment of clarity, I had a vision of the house of cards falling down. I would have rather died than quit drinking, and I was gonna kill myself if I kept drinking!!! The jumping off point!!!

rowd44

thanks Kathleen. I go to AA and most of the stories are about all that was lost. I came to acceptance at the peak of my career. I have never made more money and have everything I dreamed of from a society point of view...except peace and happiness

FeenixxRising

Yes, I understand. I don't know quite how I did it, but as my drinking increased, so did my income. But then I've spent a lot of money on alcohol and alcohol related nonsense. Being a binge drinker probably helped me sustain a good livelihood, as I would focus on work and only drink during down times.

But even when I wasn't drinking, I wasn't functioning as well as I should have. And I haven't been working on my skill sets, and that's important in my occupation.

And the reality is if I don't stop now, the drinking will increase, and my income will fall, if not go away completely.

So I consider myself lucky. There are many people who have lost just about everything because of their addictions. I can only imagine how hard it would be to basically start all over again. And I have a lot of respect for those who have lost it all, but are successfully recovering.

rowd44

that is so true - consider myself lucky I am recognizing it now and not waiting to lose it all!

rowd44

I wonder if people who haven't lost it all have a tougher time coming to terms with their alcoholism...just a thought

EndGameNYC

There are many who would say so. In AA, this is referred to as "the gift of desperation."

rowd44

Thanks I like that - the gift of desperation!

FeenixxRising

I sometimes think so, but it's hard to say. We all have our bottoms. I may be a high-bottom drunk, but I did a a lot of low-bottom things while drunk--really irresponsible and often dangerous behavior that shook me to my core.

GroundhogDay

Exactly. My high paying career was making me miserable, so I left. I cannot relate at all to people who are happy in corporate careers working for someone else.

My spending priorities have changed completely now that I pay my share of the household bills solely from my savings and investment income. I don't miss buying the expensive things that seemed important when I was basking in my career success. I also no longer have to worry about things that used to be important when I was working.

I had to make these changes before I got sober. My job and lifestyle were literally driving me to drink.

JustODAAT

My addiction grew as my career grew--it was where I put the stress and my "reward" and justification for getting drunk every night, because after all "my job was so hard" and "I deserved it."

But I found that being an active alcoholic and having a job with lots of responsibilities is really having two enormous projects to manage, and often those projects conflicted. I literally found myself having thoughts like "How can I get my work calls out of the way early in the evening so I have enough time to drink?" and "I better not schedule that meeting until later in case I don't feel fully sober in the morning."

Taking on one of the top jobs in my company was an impetus for me to get sober. I knew the new big job was too big to try to do and also work around my "getting drunk time."

And guess what? I was able to be much more effective when I wasn't doing my job around being drunk AND when I actually slept and let my liver work on other things besides alcohol. It's amazing how much energy and time I was wasting on getting drunk and being ashamed of being a drunk.

That isn't to say it is all easy. You have to find somewhere else to put the stress. But in other ways it's a relief.

Doug39

I often convinced myself that alcohol is the reason for the good things in my life. I used that excuse to keep drinking for years - figuring alcoholism was my destiny.

I met my wife in a bar, if I didn't drink my daughter wouldn't have been born.

I met a guy in a bar that got me a job doing the career I am currently in. If I didn't drink I never would be doing what I do.

I could list so many more examples.

Yes alcohol has been instrumental in what my life has become but that doesn't make it right to get drunk everyday. I don't owe booze anything.

Yankee73

Thank you so very much for this excellent thread. I've been pondering this exact question lately.

I noticed that the more I drank, the better the job I had, the more money I made. I am now thinking that this is merely coincidence. I was younger back then. I had more energy, even if I spent most of it on "managing" my drinking. I had more confidence because I was still married at the time, could rely on husband's income, had a beautiful roof over my head, etc. In other words: no worries.

Since I am now divorced, unemployed, flat-broke and living with family, I have to start from square one. Sounds depressing, but if I could reach those heights in the past while drunk, isn't it possible to exceed my past successes while sober?

EndGameNYC

A solid or successful career path never includes alcoholism. No matter how well we performed at work while drinking, we can never know how much better we'd have been were we sober.

I built up a pretty amazing career for myself during my twenty five years of sobriety. During my three-year relapse, I destroyed virtually everything that was good in my life, including a career I had worked on for almost thirty years. I had an obvious point of reference as to "what might have been." Getting back has been extremely difficult, and I'm only recently reaping the rewards of the work I've put into getting being sober for little more than two years back.

Carbonized

Misery is more tolerable when you are making lots of money. After all, once you have enough in the bank you can simply quit. Better to have and lose than never have.

Leshar

I identify very much with your post, Justodaat, thanks.

Speaking of careers, I find it odd when some people refer to their "drinking career".
Somewhat of an oxymoron, in my opinion!

BackToSquareOne

It's better to be rich if your happy, miserable or undecided. I think if the job made me truly miserable and I had a back up plan I'd probably quit.

Sobersunshine

Interesting thread. I got a masters degree, a second bachelors degree, and a DVM as my drinking progressed. It progressed even more when I got my first job, which was extremely stressful. Second job, more progression of drinking. I think my outward success at getting degrees and holding a professional job kept me in denial. Never mind that I was morally bankrupt, couldn't maintain a romantic relationship, was ruining my health, was wasting all my hard-earned money on booze, etc etc. towards the end, I was almost hoping that something would happen to make me lose it all, so I could finally hit bottom and stood drinking.

Thankfully, that didn't have to happen, but I came very, very close.

Renarde

Yes. I'm at the pinnacle of my success so far and have 19 days sober. It's easier to deny, for sure. Once my liver started hurting though, and that nagging voice of anxiety was going all the time, I knew it was game over.

Sobersunshine

Yes Ren, when I see others with a lower bottom, I just think, there for the grace of God go I... It keeps me sober, because I don't know if I'll get a second chance.