dwtbd

What a difference a few weeks can make.
Tonight is the perfect night to lead to regaining the world in the morning and wondering what if anything of significance happened in the preceding hours.
I would have been free to indulge in beer and bourbon to my heart's content for a number of reasons.
My wife is out for a social event, meaning I could exploit any guilt she may have(totally unwarranted,but hey you take what you can get) about me being the one to stay home and care for our daughter and put her in bed to let the getting hammered begin deservedly. I could add some justified celebratory bourbon toasts in honor of my son's achievement on the firing range, hoo rah.
Since ,though, in the recent weeks I have decided not to drink and not change change my mind on that, I realize that those reasons or excuses ,good or bad were the things I would use to justify my addiction.
I parented properly , that in itself is a reward ,getting drunk because of it would just be an excuse. The pride in my son's accomplishment being an occasion to get drunk would diminish his achievement whether he knew it or not, I would know.
My daughter is sleeping soundly, and my son is going to have a great badge to wear and be proud of. Knowing I no longer twist or use these things to justify my drinking and knowing I can't "unknow" that is a new perspective , what a difference for the good a couple of weeks can make.

Now if only the damn Yankees could get their sh t together, it'd be a perfect evening.