mandymarie22

so im not as strong as i thought. i just lost my job because of "business decisions" after over 3 years. I was doing so well and i have many people who like me there. I did a good job and now this. what am i gonna do. After 10 days, i just poured a drink. dont judge me. Now that i know i can quit after 10, i know i can quit for good one day when i know how to handle these situations.

Mountainmanbob

no judgment
that's what we do
until we find other roads to travel

Mountainman

zjw

nows probably the worst time to pour a drink. it wont help if finances are tight due to lack of work if your spending money on drinking. Its also a slippery slope. I had a friend of mine who while out of work he got into the habit of waking up and pouring a glass of crown and coke for breakfast and then would procede to just be drunk the remainder of the day. he felt whats the use!. This is a friend who never had a drinking problem too! Lucky for him he snapped out of it. But while he was struggling to make ends me eat was pouring money into drinking it didnt make any sense. Of course it never does.

Point is now is probably the worst time to pickup. Its not going to solve anything thats for sure.

Dee74

sadly thats not really true Mandy.
the longer we drink the harder it gets to quit.

I hope you won't take this as judgement but there's no way you can learn how to handle these kinds of situations if you continue to drink through them.

I'm sorry you lost your job but don't compound one bad thing with another - there are other jobs around and you do have support here

D

zjw

I dont mean to come down on you dont take it the wrong way. But sometimes when you shouldnt drink the most are times like this. I know when i want a drink the most is normally when i REALLY shouldnt pour one if that makes any sense.

Going for a run and exercising works the same way the days i REALLY dont wanna go do it are the days i probably should do it the most!

zjw

Dee is right I'm thankful i'm scared ot pickup. Just the other day I said to my wife I sure could use a few day bender!! She didnt say much in response then i responded problem is I have no idea if it would be a few day bender or a decade long bender. So I just cant chance it.

NotTooSmart

At AA meetings, when you go the first time, they often put together a quick phone list for you. I have one in my bag. I'm gonna do what I'm telling you to do here and when the urge strikes, I'm going to go down the list until I reach somebody before I pour that drink.

Also- did you have the alcohol in your house? Having to drive to get it at least forces me to take a minute to consider what I'm doing. This time around I'm holding to a no-alcohol-in-the-house rule for the forseeable future.

Mountainmanbob

zjw

mountainmanbob is right. not drinking at times when you think you should good or bad each time is a little victory. they add up and they get easier. Best part is all you have to do is choose to not drink and you get this victory. as time goes by you realize you delt with a lot of obstacles and managed to survive without drinking and you realize you dont need it and never did.

Sobersunshine

Mandymarie, I'm so sorry you lost your job. When I lost my previous job (long story, not alcohol related, boss phoned me at 6:30am and said don't come to work), the first thing i did was pour a huge glass of wine. At 630 am. So I totally get it. No judgement here. I was still an active alcoholic at that point, but had a been in early sobriety, well, yeah, I can see the same thing happening to me.
But now you have to decide what you're going to do. Drinking, having lots of free time, being stress and upset and angry--not a good domination. You can get sober in spite of this. There's never a perfect time. AA or other recovery programs can teach you how to handle this crappy life situations without drinking. For so many years drinking was my automatic response to deal with any problem, and of course it solved nothing and finally my drinking became my biggest problem.
Don't give up on yourself! You can still do this, in spite of what just happened.

Hevyn

I'm so sorry about your job, Mandy. I know how horrible news like that is - and the pain it causes. You already know that drinking doesn't end up helping at all. The problem will still be there when you're sober again, and then you'll be mad at yourself for caving. I hope you'll stop as soon as you can. You don't need it to get you through a bad time - it isn't your friend or comforter.

We're here to listen and support you. I'm glad you wanted to share what's going on with us. Please keep posting.

Nuudawn

No judgement here either Mandy. But I too have to say that it is getting ourselves through these sometimes difficult situations that is in fact, sobriety. You have taken a really hard and perhaps unfair blow, and although you see the drink as remedy (and pacifier if you will) it will further harm your self esteem (the esteem that already took a blow today).

I am so sorry that the job loss is a trigger you feel you just can't get through without a drink. I wish..for your sake....that wasn't the case. But it is what it is. Free will is your God given right...but there's just a whole lotta folks here who wish that the drink is not the choice you make tonight. Nevertheless, we will all still be here to help you fight through triggers, letdowns, disappointments, loneliness and hurt. Caring people are your answer in this situation...not the isolation of the drink.

Alphabet

Much love to you, sans judgment. I went through the same ordeal and yes, drinking was easier than trying to find a job. Until I realized that I was miserable, homeless, physically ill and completely alone (I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not).

Then guess what? I got TWO jobs in one week!

Wanna know how?

I stayed sober for ten days. The longest period of sobriety I've had under my belt since before I was 21.

Best of luck to you. This is an uphill battle but when you reach the peak, it's incomparable.

foolsgold66

I'm sorry about your job. Tomorrow is another day. Please put the drink away, you know that won't fix it.

Olive1

I had to quit my job when I finally decided to get sober, because I was so terribly sick. When I got out of rehab, I eventually got a low key, low stress job. I like to think that this helped me to ease back into real life and begin to live again. I really liked the job, but I did have to get a real job after about eighteen months.
You are strong, because you did quit drinking, even if only for 10 days. Know that. Unfortunately these situations are called 'life' and they will happen regardless. I hope you can pick yourself up and start again.

DoubleBarrel

I really hope to see you back here safely soon.

pinkdog

Hi mandy, sending you a hug.

Blackcat11

This is only the beginning of a most interesting journey---lot's more to see down the road!! Be well and tomorrow is a new day!

Sobersunshine

Mandy, sorry for the typos and autocorrects in my post earlier, which I just reread. I meant combination of stress, anger etc., not domination. Lol. Anyway, I just got back from a meeting and a women there shared something that made me think of you. Her son had recently been in a very bad car accident and has a mutlitude of broken bones and injuries. Thankfully, it sounds like he'll be ok. While she was away in another city to be with her son in hospital, she left her other son, who is 12, with the child's father, who apparently neglected him terribly. Of course she feels horrible about this. There is also a custody battle issue going on, and an upcoming court date. She had every excuse to drink, but she didn't. Instead, she went to meetings and did other things to maintain her sobriety.
I'm not saying she's better or stronger than you, I'm just saying that it is possible to stay sober through crappy situations. She also has 5 years of sobriety under her belt, so for sure that makes it easier in a way. But she's still an alcoholic, and she did think about drinking, but she didn't. Five years of sobriety still means you're just a drink away from being an active alcoholic.
Just thought I'd share tht with you. Don't let this slip turn into something worse. Tomorrow is a new chance at 24 hours of sobriety.

Johno1967

You can handle the situation now. You have it in you, you just don't want to recognize that.
Unfortunately in life we are all going to have good days and bad days. We'll all gain and lose and be happy and suffer. That's life. I read somewhere and I agree, that no problem is bad enough that a drink won't make it worse.
Staying sober shouldn't be contingent on anything but faith in the fundamental fact that everything happens for a reason even though it may not be apparent to us at the time. Bad things happen to good people. Sobriety conditional on having a job, having an intact and healthy relationship, being contended and happy or anything else is setting us up for failure and more unhappiness.
Moments like this I read the serenity prayer and take faith that it'll work out.
Tomorrow when you get up, start over and count the things you can be grateful for. Find another and better job.