rowd44

I am ready after 20 plus years to give up the fight with alcohol and start to address my problem. As part of this process I am looking/searching at/for the root causes on why I even turned to alcohol as a solution to so many problems & emotions. Here’s the frustrating part: Old Habits are Hard to Die! I expect results immediately. I have old habits and old ways of thinking since I was a kid and I want to change on a dime and of course expect things to happen yesterday. Positive change can be slow and at times painful as I start looking at myself and being honest. Anyone having a tough time with this or is it just me?

Dee74

Hi Rowd

I spent a long time looking for the underlying reasons and not finding much - in fact not a lot happened,...I just kept drinking.

Eventually, I turned it on its head - I stopped drinking, got my recovery up and running, & *then* I looked at all the underlying stuff.

It's way better to do that with a clear head IMO

D

Gottalife

I think everyone has a tough time with this, you are not alone. The big question is what's wrong with us? You need to know that before you can go about fixing it.

"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." AA Big Book 1st ed.

But their could be other causes too.

longbeachone

IT'S JUST YOU (Bwaaahhhaahhaahhaaaaaaa)

No, obviously I'm kidding. Sunday evening and I'm a bit giddy for some reason. Of course change is hard, painful and unwanted. Some say that people are incapable of change. I don't believe this, because I was able to change, along with many of the kind people on this site. Tons more are doing just what you're doing...starting to change, breaking away from old habits, moving toward a better life.

I hate to use the metaphor of the caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly, but it's so perfect! If you do the work, collect and use the tools we all need to gain and hold onto sobriety (12 Step meetings, support network, literature, SR, medication if necessary, etc...)then you can emerge from this illness as a beautiful sober person, with a new and wonderful life ahead of you.

GracieLou

All change is slow. I did not start out drinking a 1/2 gallon of whiskey every two days when I was 20. It is progressive just as recovery is progressive.

The AA book states "More will be revealed" and I find that to be very true. As more time goes by the more I see and the more I remember. I had forgotten the first time I got drunk. I have heard it in lead meetings over and over but it was lost to me. I mean it was gone, not there. Then one day out of the blue it popped in my head.

This has happened to me many times. Past situations that I had completely forgot about popped back into my memory like a miniature movie. There is was , plain as day.

When I went from party girl having fun to alcoholic, I don't know. I know when I drank from the start I always drank to much and I had blackouts almost from the beginning but I thought that was par for the course. I don't think it was a situation nor a conscious decision to use alcohol to hide. I feel that from the start I drank to much. Once I drank the control was gone and because of that it allowed me to get drunk. Then I wanted to get drunk, over and over. I chased the drunk for a long time until it did not work anymore but I still drank. I could not hide anymore and it did not make me feel any better but I still chased it.

Then I gave up and stopped chasing it. That is when I quit.

It does take time but as an alcoholic I wanted it now just like I wanted the drunk now. I want what I want and I want it now! I wanted instant gratification.

karate

My problems were anger ,and anxiety .Along with a handful more issues .

Once I solved those -and it was pretty tough ,Drinking cured its self .

But its an ABSOLUTE - the depressants need to be cleared so you can start the other problems resolution .

Its a circle ,feel bad ,drink ,feel bad from drinking ,drink and around and around .........

GOT to break the circle .

Sudz No More

What Dee Said

Don't read into underlying causes too much right now because at this moment all that really matters is after 20 years you are addicted. Get some sober time under your belt and you will see how many things either surface or disappear. For me, most of my ailments disappeared. There was no need to analyze any further.

If you still have unresolved issues most of them will likely surface in sobriety.

lorelei

Hey rowd,

I used to give up drink for a week, expect my life to miraculously change, all be perfect and never to crave a drink again.....oh and it didn't happen :'( enter full blown strop mode and why wasn't everything suddenly ok?!


cue a fair few day 1s later....

realisation, it had taken me 10 years to become to emotionally and physically dependent on this poison, my body was damaged and it was going to take time and a lot of hard word to scrape back my life and emotional health...

no, its not easy. no, its not instant, but yes, its worth it....

at one point I've been af for 18 months felt fab, became complacent and slipped... I learned a lot, nothing takes my sober time away from me and am trying again....

it isn't instant but its a gradual process worth waiting for...

don't give up x

rowd44

thanks Longbeach!

rowd44

cool advise

rowd44

thanks Lorelei -