What's your tolerance level of being around drinkers?
 

I'm curious of people's opinions of how they feel about being around a person or people that are drinking quite heavily.

I try not to be a hypocrite about this, because I was an alcoholic before I started taking my sobriety serious, but I find I just don't like being in the company of someone who's getting drunk. For me, I'm in my late 20s, and I just find if I hang out with a friend whose drinking quite a bit, it becomes really difficult to tolerate their behavior.

Two nights ago I went out with a friend to a downtown area near my house. This friend I've known for quite a long time basically just got belligerent. He became disrespectful, wouldn't listen at all, and just straight reckless with his behavior. It almost got to the point where I wanted to leave him there because his actions were becoming so intolerable. Though I knew I committed myself to this and in the back of my head I knew a situation like this might happen, but I guess I didn't think about it enough or else I never would of gone in the first place.

Situations of being around heavy drinkers even comes close to home as my dad is basically an alcoholic. It's like I'm just a spectator of seeing him completely ruin his health. He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes; he drinks like a fish after work, and eats waaay more than he should. Now when he drinks his head just goes in the clouds and it just seems his body is there, but mentally he isnt.

Anyways, these are just a couple instances I've been around that bother me. I definitely don't want to take on a holier than thou type of personality when it comes to drinking, especially when I was there myself, but now I find myself almost labeling certain people around me as alcoholics and others not.

I'd really appreciate peoples input on how they approach similar situations. Thanks!

I live with an alcoholic, and we both were when we married. I stopped drinking two months ago and he gets drunk every night. I take notice but don't really do anything about it. He is not a mean drunk. He usually just drinks till he passes out or goes to bed. If he does not go to bed I wake him and tell him he needs to go to bed. It does not really bother me.

I have no desire to be around anyone who is drinking heavily and would avoid the situation. It's not a matter of being holier than thou (I've been the drinker), just a matter of being soberer than thou. Hanging out with drunks is only fun if you're drunk too.

Plus, I've come to realize where I spent a lot of time around drinkers because I was a drinker and I think alcohol can definitely influence people to act in ways that really just aren't ok with me at this point in my life. (Frankly, I've acted in ways I'm not proud of when I was drinking and I don't want to be like that which is part of why I'm sober.)

If I'm in a situation that I can get out of, I do so. Have 0 tolerance for drunks. :egypt:

I'm not great.
I tend to sit through parties, weddings, meals, I suppose any drinking events, until I can go home to my bed.

I find the events a chore.
I also get worried for people who I can see have had far too much to drink.
I cringe when I watch them.
Probably because I am all too aware that used to me.
Or I believe it was me, I don't know I used to black out a lot.

I'm still haunted by the things I did or said that I have no memory of.
My actions still make me want to hide away and not face people.

I do find the nest morning interesting though.
A lot of my drinking events are at work, where people go over the top and the next day they have to be up bright and early for the meeting and work in business planning sessions.

I probably should not admit to this but I quite like contributing a lot in the sessions so that it is obvious I did not drink and they did and they are suffering.

It also reminds me what a hideous drug alcohol is,
Most people are still a bit drunk, a bit shame faced as they did not know what they said and did, especially as it is a work situation.

I do feel not as part of fun.
But I would rather be as I am now instead of the object of everyones fun.

I wish you the best

I find them chore as well. I can never tell exactly how I will react so I always have a way out.

One of my best friends is a drinker, and occasionally drinks heavily. He doesn't drink around me though. He respects my sobriety and struggles with alcohol. I've told him before that it's ok if he wanted to drink some around me... I wouldn't have a problem with it. I've seen the alcohol in his house, and I've seen him drink a couple of times... the only thing that gets a bit tiresome is that he can get loud and obnoxious and rude sometimes :) Other than that, he is a lovely person, and I care for him very much. His drinking doesn't affect my sobriety.

Totally fine with it until it becomes real dull then I slip off. Watching drunks really does re charge my sober batteries , I look at them then feel so good I am not like them.

Bit smug , but can't help myself :)

:c024:Zero

In my sober life, I don't spend very much time with people who drink regularly or excessively. When out socially, the drunk or drunks in the room only remind me of what I can once again become, and I leave the event wanting no part of it.

This didn't happen all at once. For over a year, I wouldn't place myself in situations that made me feel vulnerable, and now it's all paying off.

Depends on the type of drunk. My hubby gets quite cute when he is drunk, giggly and funny, his brother can get paranoid and nasty.

I am fine around people drinking if they are normal drinkers. If I am near anyone who drinks anything like I did then it is a massive trigger for me, not that it makes me want to drink really, just it is far too close to home and makes me feel uncomfortable. I also get bored very easily with the drunk talk. I can tolerate it but I try to have an escape plan if I am going out, which is rare these days.

It doesn't bother me in that I have no desire to drink when around drinkers. I just find people who have been drinking tiresome. Their silliness, lack of interest in other people, desire to confide or trade confidences that you know they should keep to themselves, inflated beliefs in their own opinions or laughter at their own jokes. It's hard for me to take anyone who has had too much to drink seriously in any way. It's a bore.

Depends if their using it or abusing it. I avoid going out with friends whose specific purpose for the evening is to get hammered but really don't mind having dinner with those who are enjoying a couple of glasses of wine or a few beers.

So long as they don't start bothering me about why I'm not drinking then I really don't mind either way, but usually once someone's had a few too many, even my close friends will start to slur about how I'm young and free and should be getting wasted with them. Fortunately though when they get to that stage they don't remember it in the morning or if they do they are very regretful..

It depends on the environment. If I'm going over to somebody's house where I know a few beers will be served it doesn't bother me. What I absolutely cannot do is go out to the bars or clubs. Because it's always packed full of sweaty drunken people, it's loud so you have to shout just to have a conversation with a girl who is most likely too drunk or tipsy to understand half of what you're saying. If there's no place to sit then you stand around getting in the way of other people trying to move about (most of them stumbling into you). For me, those are not enjoyable things to experience - unless I'm drunk too. So I definitely don't go to bars.

I've found it impossible not to be around people drinking if I want to be social. Most people I know drink. But I'm not about to go to a huge drinking party anytime soon. It's not worth it at this point.

I've felt a sea change in my attitude. Although I sometimes partied too hard in my 20s, I didn't start really developing my nascent alcoholism until my very late 20s/early 30s.

Before I had a problem of my own, I always thought it was sort of funny and charming to be around very drunk friends. Sometimes it annoyed me (and it made me furious if there was driving involved), but for the most part I was entertained. I saw them as spontaneous and nutty and carefree, and I had good stories of their exploits. And when they got too sloppy, I just went home and laughed at the subsequent reports of the evening.

After developing a problem of my own, I often find myself harshly critical of very drunk people, and I don't like being around them. I think, as others have said, that it's because I see myself in their inebriation, and it strikes me as more miserable and dangerous than endearingly Fitzgeraldesque.

I don't have any heavy-drinking friends now, but I struggle against being judgmental toward drunk strangers. And, when my mom, who is a lightweight, has 2 glasses of wine, I am profoundly uncomfortable, both for myself and for her (she probably once had the tolerance for 2 glasses, but not anymore). I know I'm judgmental only b/c I'm cringing at my own past and because drunk 30+ yr-olds are even less charming and cute than drunk 20-somethings, but that's no reason for me to be judgy. :)

I don't know what my attitude will be in a couple years when I'm more secure in my sobriety. Might depend on how sure I was that the friend in question didn't have a problem and didn't get drunk very often. And, of course, on whether they were self-medicating or celebrating.

*Sorry you have to watch your dad do that to himself. It's hard to watch people you love harm themselves. :(

I'm too early into my sobriety to have a definitive answer on this.
However, when my old drinking buddies call me after 8PM, I don't answer anymore because I don't feel like listening to their slurring. :phone:
I do have compassion for drunks when I see them because I remember walking a mile in their moccasins.

I don't hang around people who are getting trashed, as a rule. The ONLY time I might do this would be at an occasional event I really have to attend, like a wedding or something. Even then, I would leave as early as I could.

I have only mild tolerance for being around people who are drinking moderately. My husband does not drink around me in our day to day life when it is just the two of us. If I go out with friends or something for dinner, then obviously I sometimes have to deal with being around drinking, but that doesn't happen every day or even every week.

I do not go to bars and I don't go to social occasions like parties either if the only purpose is drinking and getting drunk. I will go out to a meal or to a movie, concert, sporting event, or something like that instead.

Staying away from alcohol as much as practical has worked for me, and I have no intention of changing that general rule.

I have always been uncomfortable around people who were drinking...as in drinking for drinking's sake, not a beer or wine with dinner.

They scare me because they are not in control. I always drank alone.

I'm still uncomfortable being around drinker's for the same reason, not because I am tempted to drink but because people act weird and unpredictable when they're drunk.