Thinking of going out
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
Good luck.
It's a bad idea.
If you don't move on with the steps then use other things.
If your already decided before you ask the question,it's already done.
I waited until I had felt the difference between not drinking and sobriety ,only then could I see how things might go, and what the dangers were.
John.
It's a bad idea.
If you don't move on with the steps then use other things.
If your already decided before you ask the question,it's already done.
I waited until I had felt the difference between not drinking and sobriety ,only then could I see how things might go, and what the dangers were.
John.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Do you want to experience the taste again or do you want to get wasted? If you are after the high, sit down and try to figure out the real reason why. Are you bored, lonely, angry, depressed, sad, or confused? Are you missing something or someone? Are you being hit by triggers?
Disabled Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 50
Zane dont do it. You will blow all of your clean time. I have been in and out of AA for over 35 years. Today i have 4 months clean because i wanted to drink normally. if you want you will be able to justify going back out there. Dont let the disease win. Your addiction will always try to take you back to that life of misery. I have never heard someone that went back out that came back and told me how wonderful it was. if you get a chance private message me and we can talk about this. Your Friend Rich
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Dear Zane,
I so wish I could post you a picture of my husband's head, all the while he would tell me, I only want one day! Well, since the mods don't like cruesome pics, I'll just paint you a pic...
So just imagine his one drink, that turned into a 12 day bender fueled by vodka. He gets on his 2006 Harley Night Train and he's out joyriding and headed for another bottle which he successfully bought. He's on his way home, on his favorite road and he goes into a 90 degree turn with the throttle wide open.
He did not make it out of that turn. He dumped his bike going atleast 50mph and skid down the road with a pair of jeans and a tank top on with no helmet. His head bounced off the road like a basket ball. He suffered massive head injuries with brain injuries and several brain bleeds. The back of his head was split open from his crown to his occipital bone. His skin was just hanging in pieces. He literally scalped himself from the top right side of his forehead to the crown. It was nothing but hamburger and skull. It was over 5" long and 3" wide of just NOTHING BUT SKULL & BITS N PIECES OF SKIN!
Why? Because he says he can have just one and HE CAN'T! He's a dumbass fool for thinking he has the power to have a drink. He's a loser at his own game.
For anyone who thinks nothing bad will ever happen to them while they drink, just know, my husband always said, That won't happen to me and here we are, dealing with something that I knew could happen and something he said wouldn't.
Do you really want to drink?
I so wish I could post you a picture of my husband's head, all the while he would tell me, I only want one day! Well, since the mods don't like cruesome pics, I'll just paint you a pic...
So just imagine his one drink, that turned into a 12 day bender fueled by vodka. He gets on his 2006 Harley Night Train and he's out joyriding and headed for another bottle which he successfully bought. He's on his way home, on his favorite road and he goes into a 90 degree turn with the throttle wide open.
He did not make it out of that turn. He dumped his bike going atleast 50mph and skid down the road with a pair of jeans and a tank top on with no helmet. His head bounced off the road like a basket ball. He suffered massive head injuries with brain injuries and several brain bleeds. The back of his head was split open from his crown to his occipital bone. His skin was just hanging in pieces. He literally scalped himself from the top right side of his forehead to the crown. It was nothing but hamburger and skull. It was over 5" long and 3" wide of just NOTHING BUT SKULL & BITS N PIECES OF SKIN!
Why? Because he says he can have just one and HE CAN'T! He's a dumbass fool for thinking he has the power to have a drink. He's a loser at his own game.
For anyone who thinks nothing bad will ever happen to them while they drink, just know, my husband always said, That won't happen to me and here we are, dealing with something that I knew could happen and something he said wouldn't.
Do you really want to drink?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
no advice, Zane.
unlikely you'll find much real advice here. almost everyone here couldn't control it. which is why we're here.
personally, it got a whole lot easier for me when i knew for sure that i didn't WANT to drink moderately. at all. i did seem to have a certain amount that was "normal" for me, but it sure wasn't "moderate", and i sure couldn't control my decisions around when to drink and when not to.
let us know how it goes. about a couple of weeks or months after you start trying. if you decide to do it. or if you do it in spite of having decided not to
unlikely you'll find much real advice here. almost everyone here couldn't control it. which is why we're here.
personally, it got a whole lot easier for me when i knew for sure that i didn't WANT to drink moderately. at all. i did seem to have a certain amount that was "normal" for me, but it sure wasn't "moderate", and i sure couldn't control my decisions around when to drink and when not to.
let us know how it goes. about a couple of weeks or months after you start trying. if you decide to do it. or if you do it in spite of having decided not to
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
You would not be able to talk about your current difficulties in sobriety to anyone in AA anyway--so being sick of AA is not really an issue.
So why not talk to some non-alcoholic friends about your desire to try some controlled drinking. In my experience, since they do not have to worry about getting triggered, they will actually do whatever it takes to keep you from doing any self-harm.
SR is great, but you need someone sitting with you, looking in your eyes, who will listen to you talk this out.
So why not talk to some non-alcoholic friends about your desire to try some controlled drinking. In my experience, since they do not have to worry about getting triggered, they will actually do whatever it takes to keep you from doing any self-harm.
SR is great, but you need someone sitting with you, looking in your eyes, who will listen to you talk this out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by soberlicious 
Don't use being sick of AA as an excuse to continue your addiction. Be sick of AA, that's fine, but that doesn't mean you have to become a drinker again (and likely not find any more happiness than you currently possess).
It's not a choice between AA or drinking. To reduce it to that is simply an excuse. A thinly veiled one I might add.
It's not a choice between AA or drinking. To reduce it to that is simply an excuse. A thinly veiled one I might add.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 134
Wow... If I had 14 months I would be celebrating. All I can say is keep moving forward and do not give up or give in. I've done that so many times and even convinced myself that I was a "controlled/normal" drinker until reality hit one night as I was driving home from a bar... Passed out at the wheel, ran off the road, and I was staring straight at someone's home that I almost plowed my truck into. I'm not going to preach. You're going to do what you're going to do regardless as to what is suggested. The only person who can live your life is you. The question remains, if you happen to go back to drinkin, would you be able to live with your choice?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: FL
Posts: 698
First things first, call your sponsor and tell him how you feel.
Then do what you need to do. If you are not convinced you are powerless, go do some more research. Who are we to interupt a drunk on the way to his or her bottom? Obviously you haven't had enough pain yet!!
I hope drinking again is not what you choose; but we will be here for you when you get back!!
Then do what you need to do. If you are not convinced you are powerless, go do some more research. Who are we to interupt a drunk on the way to his or her bottom? Obviously you haven't had enough pain yet!!
I hope drinking again is not what you choose; but we will be here for you when you get back!!
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Welcome to SR, Zane.
14 months of not drinking is an awesome success in its own right! Feeling like drinking doesn't mean those 14 months are somehow not working for you - even with you fighting against it those not drinking days have had a chance to set you up for a much better life.
Whatever has gone sideways for you and is making drinking look like an option again is worth sharing and taking a real hard look at to sort out. You're not alone.
You've made the right move to share what is going on with you. Keep on sharing. Talking things out works well.
14 months of not drinking is an awesome success in its own right! Feeling like drinking doesn't mean those 14 months are somehow not working for you - even with you fighting against it those not drinking days have had a chance to set you up for a much better life.
Whatever has gone sideways for you and is making drinking look like an option again is worth sharing and taking a real hard look at to sort out. You're not alone.
You've made the right move to share what is going on with you. Keep on sharing. Talking things out works well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by BoxinRotz
Dear Zane,
I so wish I could post you a picture of my husband's head, all the while he would tell me, I only want one day! Well, since the mods don't like cruesome pics, I'll just paint you a pic...
So just imagine his one drink, that turned into a 12 day bender fueled by vodka. He gets on his 2006 Harley Night Train and he's out joyriding and headed for another bottle which he successfully bought. He's on his way home, on his favorite road and he goes into a 90 degree turn with the throttle wide open.
He did not make it out of that turn. He dumped his bike going atleast 50mph and skid down the road with a pair of jeans and a tank top on with no helmet. His head bounced off the road like a basket ball. He suffered massive head injuries with brain injuries and several brain bleeds. The back of his head was split open from his crown to his occipital bone. His skin was just hanging in pieces. He literally scalped himself from the top right side of his forehead to the crown. It was nothing but hamburger and skull. It was over 5" long and 3" wide of just NOTHING BUT SKULL & BITS N PIECES OF SKIN!
Why? Because he says he can have just one and HE CAN'T! He's a dumbass fool for thinking he has the power to have a drink. He's a loser at his own game.
For anyone who thinks nothing bad will ever happen to them while they drink, just know, my husband always said, That won't happen to me and here we are, dealing with something that I knew could happen and something he said wouldn't.
Do you really want to drink?
I so wish I could post you a picture of my husband's head, all the while he would tell me, I only want one day! Well, since the mods don't like cruesome pics, I'll just paint you a pic...
So just imagine his one drink, that turned into a 12 day bender fueled by vodka. He gets on his 2006 Harley Night Train and he's out joyriding and headed for another bottle which he successfully bought. He's on his way home, on his favorite road and he goes into a 90 degree turn with the throttle wide open.
He did not make it out of that turn. He dumped his bike going atleast 50mph and skid down the road with a pair of jeans and a tank top on with no helmet. His head bounced off the road like a basket ball. He suffered massive head injuries with brain injuries and several brain bleeds. The back of his head was split open from his crown to his occipital bone. His skin was just hanging in pieces. He literally scalped himself from the top right side of his forehead to the crown. It was nothing but hamburger and skull. It was over 5" long and 3" wide of just NOTHING BUT SKULL & BITS N PIECES OF SKIN!
Why? Because he says he can have just one and HE CAN'T! He's a dumbass fool for thinking he has the power to have a drink. He's a loser at his own game.
For anyone who thinks nothing bad will ever happen to them while they drink, just know, my husband always said, That won't happen to me and here we are, dealing with something that I knew could happen and something he said wouldn't.
Do you really want to drink?
It's scary how reckless one can be when drunk. I constantly feel like I've dodged a bullet somehow
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I would think very carefully about throwing away 14 months. Maybe read your first posts here,what brought you here. If AA isn't working for you maybe look at another recovery method. There are many out there. It's easy to forget howbad we were
If you could control your drinking I doubt you would have quit in the first place.
If you could control your drinking I doubt you would have quit in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by Kathleen41
Then do what you need to do. If you are not convinced you are powerless, go do some more research. Who are we to interupt a drunk on the way to his or her bottom? Obviously you haven't had enough pain yet!!
I hope drinking again is not what you choose; but we will be here for you when you get back!!
I hope drinking again is not what you choose; but we will be here for you when you get back!!
I prefer to help Zane realize he is powerless without suggesting he begin drinking again so he finds his bottom. It's the safer option.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Well, the OP hasn't returned since the start of this thread... It was also his/her first post.
Welcome to SR, zane949! You will find a lot of comfort and support here, but not much support for the choice to continue drinking. The reason for that is there is a whole lot of experience here dealing with the choice you are considering making. Moderation simply did not work out for the better for nearly all of us. Not for lack of trying; you can count on that.
I hope you read the responses to your post and have made the right choice. If not, it's ok. Come back and talk with us. Let's figure out how to get you back on track.
Again, welcome! And best wishes.
Welcome to SR, zane949! You will find a lot of comfort and support here, but not much support for the choice to continue drinking. The reason for that is there is a whole lot of experience here dealing with the choice you are considering making. Moderation simply did not work out for the better for nearly all of us. Not for lack of trying; you can count on that.
I hope you read the responses to your post and have made the right choice. If not, it's ok. Come back and talk with us. Let's figure out how to get you back on track.
Again, welcome! And best wishes.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Zane, welcome to SR, and thanks for igniting this thread. I wish you well.
I'm almost 9 months sober, in AA, and beset by doubts about the program. BUT the changes in me since I quit drinking are obvious, and if I ever doubt that, all I have to do is ask my husband. I may not keep AA as a primary means of support beyond the first year, but I know that any attempt at controlled drinking is not going to ease my mental dis-ease.
I want to thank everyone who's posted on this thread. You've all helped me a lot today.
I'm almost 9 months sober, in AA, and beset by doubts about the program. BUT the changes in me since I quit drinking are obvious, and if I ever doubt that, all I have to do is ask my husband. I may not keep AA as a primary means of support beyond the first year, but I know that any attempt at controlled drinking is not going to ease my mental dis-ease.
I want to thank everyone who's posted on this thread. You've all helped me a lot today.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by fini
I was sort of a heavy moderator lol.
I could moderate a 12 pack like nobody
Sudz No More,
thanks for the evening laugh! priceless!
I could moderate a 12 pack like nobody
Sudz No More,
thanks for the evening laugh! priceless!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
You have many more choices in front of you than AA or drinking. There are many tools to aid in maintaining sobriety that don't involve AA, and here is an incomplete listhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html. My personal experience adds AVRT.
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