troubling time..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 47
troubling time..
So, I let up on stepwork for three weeks, the obsession came back, and I used last week, days after my 4 month mark. I'm feeling terrible. It happened so fast....I didn't crave/obsess/want alcohol for the first three months whatsoever...then 2/3 weeks without stepwork and the obsession came back with a vengeance.
I'm overwhelmed with everything in my life. Keeping sober, money, finding a new job, my mental health, my relationship, my overall well-being.
I"m terrified, really.
Thanks for reading....I needed to vent a little bit.
I'm overwhelmed with everything in my life. Keeping sober, money, finding a new job, my mental health, my relationship, my overall well-being.
I"m terrified, really.
Thanks for reading....I needed to vent a little bit.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Go back to what worked. For you, that seems to be the step work.
As for life being overwhelming, yes, it can be, even sober. Sometimes because we are sober. But drinking turns overwhelming into unmanagable, and we know where that takes us.
As for life being overwhelming, yes, it can be, even sober. Sometimes because we are sober. But drinking turns overwhelming into unmanagable, and we know where that takes us.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
My first thought is, "Quick! Call your sponsor!"
In the first weeks after I quit drinking, I actually practiced using the phone list. I called some people to just say "Hello, I'm fine and practicing using the phone list. I hope you're having a good day..." I can call my sponsor at any time at work or home.
In the first weeks after I quit drinking, I actually practiced using the phone list. I called some people to just say "Hello, I'm fine and practicing using the phone list. I hope you're having a good day..." I can call my sponsor at any time at work or home.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
This made me think of a letter that Bill Wilson wrote to someone who was upset about a slip. Its found on page 68 of As Bill Sees it.
"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you
can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of
it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.
"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no.
"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you
ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame
yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for
better things."
"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you
can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of
it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.
"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no.
"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you
ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame
yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for
better things."
getting that power back.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
thuggybear, please don't be discouraged in your efforts. we all stumble in life and this shouldn't set you back. remember all of the work you have done thus far and keep on your path. you deserve it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by bbthumper 
This made me think of a letter that Bill Wilson wrote to someone who was upset about a slip. Its found on page 68 of As Bill Sees it.
"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you
can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of
it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.
"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no.
"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you
ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame
yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for
better things."
"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you
can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of
it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.
"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no.
"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you
ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame
yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for
better things."
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Sorry things are tough for you right now, thuggy....... As one who tends to get overwhelmed myself, taking things one day at a time helped me a great deal. Another is practicing gratitude..... there's always something to be grateful for, even if it's just realizing that things could always be worse(!). I wouldn't have believed it could work until I tried it and now it's what I turn to when all else fails.
You may also be going through some PAWS at the moment.
Try not to dwell on things right now.... Your spirits will improve once you get a sober day or two behind you.
You may also be going through some PAWS at the moment.
Try not to dwell on things right now.... Your spirits will improve once you get a sober day or two behind you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: FL
Posts: 698
I'm sorry for what you are going through. I can relate. I have a tendency to put too much on my plate. In recovery I am learning not to do that. I think carefully about any obligation. When stressed, I regress. My sponsor tells me to avoid situations that bring out the old Kathleen.
Don't give up, you can recover.
Don't give up, you can recover.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
work them with much more determination
Originally Posted by thuggybear
It happened so fast....I didn't crave/obsess/want alcohol for the first three months whatsoever...then 2/3 weeks without stepwork and the obsession came back with a vengeance.
for many who enter sobriety do the same
I had bottom drawer fulls of the early AA tokens
we learn what we need to change and make change
if we think falling short on our Step work was the cause of a slip
time to work them with much more determination
Mountainman
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