nancylee

I am sober just over 3 years, and my cousin contacted me a few months ago via Facebook to tell me she wanted to quit drinking and go to inpatient for detox and maybe a week of rehab. She says this is all the time she can get off from work. She is about 49, and very small, maybe 100 pounds tops. She has been drinking a big bottle of wine every day, and often blacks out. Her sister told me that she will drink before lunch if very stressed out.

My question is twofold: one, with this amount of drinking, does she need inpatient and medically supervised detox? I thought so, but remember that they didn't want to let me go inpatient until I failed at outpatient, which I did. Secondly, she keeps saying that she will do this "when work lightens up," etc. I know that I cannot get her to go, not my fight, not my business, but I don't know if I should warn her of the women I have seen actually die on Women for Sobriety because they drank themselves to death or fell and got seriously hurt.

Her husband is supposedly for rehab, but she may not be telling me the truth about that. He tells her to "pick herself up from her bootstraps." We all know that doesn't work.

Thanks for any advice,
Nancy

Taking5

First of all, a week is not rehab, a week is detox. Rehab is at least 30 days and typically they require that you detox first before you enter Rehab.

Secondly IMHO yes she needs to be medically detoxed as alcohol withdrawal can kill you.

FeenixxRising

What taking5 said, I've never heard of a week of rehab. She needs to talk with her doctor. A medical detox wouldn't hurt her, except maybe her ego. If she is financially strapped you could direct her to AA since it's free and probably readily available, and she could start right out of rehab.

BTW, could you clarify what you mean by I don't know if I should warn her of the women I have seen actually die on Women for Sobriety? Are you saying she wants to attend WoS and you don't believe that's the right program for her?

Kathleen41

She sounds like me. When I graduate I'll get help, after the holidays I'll get help, etc. Tell her anything that she is prioritizing ahead of sobriety she will lose. If she keeps drinking she'll lose her job, her husband, her freedom, maybe even her life.

Alcoholism is an illness that qualifies for short term disability coverage and FMLA. Suggest that she check into a facility and submit FMLA paperwork to her employer. Her job should be legally protected.

A medical doctor is the only one qualified to determine what level of detox she needs. My experience was that I was able to get sober using only AA, that doesn't work for everyone.

Take care of yourself, remember the serenity prayer. You could consider Alanon for your own support in dealing with your alcoholic sister. Well wishes.

longbeachone

I drank a big bottle of wine a night (or two regular bottles) and I'm tall and sure don't weigh 100 pounds. My withdrawal was hellish and had to be in a hospital.

StevenT

Be honest and speak from experience. Whether or not you're in AA, I'd read the chapter working with others. Be patient and honest with yourself, the answers will come.

nancylee

Hi,
Thank you - all of your advice is all very thoughtful and wise. I didn't realize that alcoholism was covered as an illness.

And WFS is an online group I use, instead of AA. There have been women on there who have relapsed and died, and others who have fallen down stairs and been seriously injured. That is what I meant by warning her.

Again, thank you very much.
Nancy

Mountainmanbob

going to detox has been a great starting place for many
who
wished to get and stay sober

many will follow up after detox with
living in a sober living house
and or
30 day in house treatment program
and
AA and or NA meetings

Mountainman