The First Drink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 46
The First Drink
Hi boys and girls,
I have been wanting to post something since I found this site a couple of weeks ago. I am an alcoholic, im 41, Ive drank a lot since I was 18 but the last ten years have been hitting it like crazy. I realised I had a problem and had a period of sobriety 2 years ago that lasted 14 months.
I lost weight, I took up running, I wrote music (im a musician), I recorded songs, I achieved so much, I had so much energy, I felt great. It wasnt all roses I became very forgetful, I had moments of extreme anger which is totally unlike me, and generally realised that life wasnt going to be great just because I had given up the drink. Rather, the drink had been masking my real problems and I was now getting my chance to deal with them properly as an adult. So it was hard but I was committed and loved the fact I didnt drink anymore. I felt good. I was dealing with it.
I still went to pubs, I went to weddings, I drank soft drinks or non alcoholic beer, and my friends were very supportive.
Then i went to a concert and someone offered me a drink and instead of my usual "no thanks I dont drink" I said yes. I dont know why. Then i had another and another, then on the way home I had one at the train station, missed my train so had another, the next day I went and bought an 8 pack of lager and ive been there ever since.
That was a year and a half ago. I have got fat again, I regularly wake up and sob (seriously) because I have got to go through another day with a hangover and feeling like a failure, I find myself not washing, my bedroom is like a 17 year old students room, I have a well paid responsible job but I just dont give a f***.
Ive been having the odd week or 4 days sober here and there recently, I notice the difference immediately, I wake up refreshed, I feel content, but that first drink always tempts me, and after, well Im sure you know the rest.
For those of you who are currently sober, (I am drinking today) what are some off the methods you use to avoid the first drink? For example my triggers are routines, walking past the pubs on the way home, I just think "I'll go in, have one, have a sit down, rest my weary bones, read the paper for half an hour, then go".
I just sat in my local pub by the train station and some of the old men in there are hardcore alcoholics, I dont want to become one of them, but the only difference between them and me is time.
Anyway, I am really getting a lot out of this site, good to know im not alone etc. Thanks for listening!
I have been wanting to post something since I found this site a couple of weeks ago. I am an alcoholic, im 41, Ive drank a lot since I was 18 but the last ten years have been hitting it like crazy. I realised I had a problem and had a period of sobriety 2 years ago that lasted 14 months.
I lost weight, I took up running, I wrote music (im a musician), I recorded songs, I achieved so much, I had so much energy, I felt great. It wasnt all roses I became very forgetful, I had moments of extreme anger which is totally unlike me, and generally realised that life wasnt going to be great just because I had given up the drink. Rather, the drink had been masking my real problems and I was now getting my chance to deal with them properly as an adult. So it was hard but I was committed and loved the fact I didnt drink anymore. I felt good. I was dealing with it.
I still went to pubs, I went to weddings, I drank soft drinks or non alcoholic beer, and my friends were very supportive.
Then i went to a concert and someone offered me a drink and instead of my usual "no thanks I dont drink" I said yes. I dont know why. Then i had another and another, then on the way home I had one at the train station, missed my train so had another, the next day I went and bought an 8 pack of lager and ive been there ever since.
That was a year and a half ago. I have got fat again, I regularly wake up and sob (seriously) because I have got to go through another day with a hangover and feeling like a failure, I find myself not washing, my bedroom is like a 17 year old students room, I have a well paid responsible job but I just dont give a f***.
Ive been having the odd week or 4 days sober here and there recently, I notice the difference immediately, I wake up refreshed, I feel content, but that first drink always tempts me, and after, well Im sure you know the rest.
For those of you who are currently sober, (I am drinking today) what are some off the methods you use to avoid the first drink? For example my triggers are routines, walking past the pubs on the way home, I just think "I'll go in, have one, have a sit down, rest my weary bones, read the paper for half an hour, then go".
I just sat in my local pub by the train station and some of the old men in there are hardcore alcoholics, I dont want to become one of them, but the only difference between them and me is time.
Anyway, I am really getting a lot out of this site, good to know im not alone etc. Thanks for listening!
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
One thing that helps me avoid that urge is that I keep foremost in my mind how I felt after my last relapse. How I knew I let myself and my husband down, the feeling of failure and inability to escape, the physical hangover... I picture my husband's disappointed and concerned face and that usually seals the deal for me. I can reason myself away from that first drink and then there's no need to worry about the 17 that would follow it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Welcome LG! You are lucky, you've had a long period of sobriety and have seen the benefits it can bring. You also have seen that being sober is not a given, and that it is a choice everyday.
When most of us end up here we have our tail between our legs and are open to doing anything to reclaim our lives. I find that having SR as a resource keeps my sobriety out front and center. Reading what works for other people, supporting others, and knowing I am not alone in this struggle is incredibly helpful.
Sobriety can be joyous, it can also be difficult. I find the shared experience such as I have found here to be inspiring, comforting and important to keeping my head in the game.
When most of us end up here we have our tail between our legs and are open to doing anything to reclaim our lives. I find that having SR as a resource keeps my sobriety out front and center. Reading what works for other people, supporting others, and knowing I am not alone in this struggle is incredibly helpful.
Sobriety can be joyous, it can also be difficult. I find the shared experience such as I have found here to be inspiring, comforting and important to keeping my head in the game.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Welcome Leongecko.
Sorry things have gotten back to being a problem for you. I guess in the early days, I clung to the fact that my urge to live a better life and become the person I'm meant to be, got me through. My regular alcohol shop is right where I get off the train, and in the early days, it took focus to put one foot in Front of the other and head straight home.
Now I don't really think about it. I guess it's about being committed about why you want to do this. Maybe write it down and commit to yourself what you want to achieve? You've already done it once before, so you know you are capable of it.
Good luck and welcome. There's heaps of support here so those sober days are a little easier to manage. Hope you give it another shot soon.
Sorry things have gotten back to being a problem for you. I guess in the early days, I clung to the fact that my urge to live a better life and become the person I'm meant to be, got me through. My regular alcohol shop is right where I get off the train, and in the early days, it took focus to put one foot in Front of the other and head straight home.
Now I don't really think about it. I guess it's about being committed about why you want to do this. Maybe write it down and commit to yourself what you want to achieve? You've already done it once before, so you know you are capable of it.
Good luck and welcome. There's heaps of support here so those sober days are a little easier to manage. Hope you give it another shot soon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: San Clemente, CA
Posts: 43
I am in the exact same boat.....lately I have been just thinking back to all f-ed up stuff I have done over the years after "just stopping in for 1 drink" and I end up so disgusted with myself I can't bring myself to drink....but I am new "again" and sobriety has a way of making me forget so this method is only good for a brief time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Welcome! I am glad you found us.
I have heard good things about urge surfing. Look it up on Google- if interested.
When I get urges- I sometimes just repeat silently, "I don't drink, no matter what."
I also consciously linked the negative consequences of drinking to the urge to drink. When an urge came up, I consciously thought of being nauseas, shame, hiding, etc. I think it has helped a lot.
I also focus on things that I love that I cannot do when drinking or hungover.
Also- I remind myself that drinking won't satiate the urge. After several relapses, it is fairly clear to me that drinking just intensifies the urge to drink. And I remind myself that the longer I stay sober, the easier it will probably get.
Good luck!!! Sobriety is worth it! It does get easier.
I have heard good things about urge surfing. Look it up on Google- if interested.
When I get urges- I sometimes just repeat silently, "I don't drink, no matter what."
I also consciously linked the negative consequences of drinking to the urge to drink. When an urge came up, I consciously thought of being nauseas, shame, hiding, etc. I think it has helped a lot.
I also focus on things that I love that I cannot do when drinking or hungover.
Also- I remind myself that drinking won't satiate the urge. After several relapses, it is fairly clear to me that drinking just intensifies the urge to drink. And I remind myself that the longer I stay sober, the easier it will probably get.
Good luck!!! Sobriety is worth it! It does get easier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 46
[QUOTE=Bender;4156123sobriety has a way of making me forget[/QUOTE]
This I understand Bender my friend. Ive put my body through some hefty abuse over the 41 years ive had it, but it astounds me how quickly it can bounce back, when im sober for more than a day or two, I feel invincible, I feel strong, I feel attractive, I feel cocky! And thats when I say to myself "hell one beer cant hurt, I am a strong guy, I feel great, I can have just one" etc.
This I understand Bender my friend. Ive put my body through some hefty abuse over the 41 years ive had it, but it astounds me how quickly it can bounce back, when im sober for more than a day or two, I feel invincible, I feel strong, I feel attractive, I feel cocky! And thats when I say to myself "hell one beer cant hurt, I am a strong guy, I feel great, I can have just one" etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
Originally Posted by Leongecko 
This I understand Bender my friend. Ive put my body through some hefty abuse over the 41 years ive had it, but it astounds me how quickly it can bounce back, when im sober for more than a day or two, I feel invincible, I feel strong, I feel attractive, I feel cocky! And thats when I say to myself "hell one beer cant hurt, I am a strong guy, I feel great, I can have just one" etc.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Leongecko
...it astounds me how quickly it can bounce back, when im sober for more than a day or two, I feel invincible, I feel strong, I feel attractive, I feel cocky! And thats when I say to myself "hell one beer cant hurt, I am a strong guy, I feel great, I can have just one" etc.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Hi Leongecko,
Firstly thanks for sharing. I'm 11 months sober. I never dreamed I'd make it this far. I've read stories similar to yours. The insanity of the first drink and have been vigilant with that inner voice that says "go on, where's the harm in one". Been there many times. The fact is 1 is never enough. Total abstinence is the only way for me. I'm an alcoholic.
You draw a picture of whats at stake and is a timely reminder of why I won't accept that first drink. The other night I was at a High School Reunion and someone offered me a drink. There was a pause. A single moment where I could have rolled the dice and said "sure, why not". I chose to say no and walked out of there later on sober and stronger for it.
So whats the trick to avoiding the first drink? A two letter word "No". I use the 12 steps and some spiritual tools to give me the strength to say it where and when before I could not. But, its that simple. I accept that I have a condition where consumption of alcohol is contraindicated. That is, I'm an alcoholic. Maybe you should consider that you may be as well.
Thanks again mate, your story has made a difference.
Firstly thanks for sharing. I'm 11 months sober. I never dreamed I'd make it this far. I've read stories similar to yours. The insanity of the first drink and have been vigilant with that inner voice that says "go on, where's the harm in one". Been there many times. The fact is 1 is never enough. Total abstinence is the only way for me. I'm an alcoholic.
You draw a picture of whats at stake and is a timely reminder of why I won't accept that first drink. The other night I was at a High School Reunion and someone offered me a drink. There was a pause. A single moment where I could have rolled the dice and said "sure, why not". I chose to say no and walked out of there later on sober and stronger for it.
So whats the trick to avoiding the first drink? A two letter word "No". I use the 12 steps and some spiritual tools to give me the strength to say it where and when before I could not. But, its that simple. I accept that I have a condition where consumption of alcohol is contraindicated. That is, I'm an alcoholic. Maybe you should consider that you may be as well.
Thanks again mate, your story has made a difference.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi Leon. A big help for me is the expression "REMEMBER WHEN" and I'm not referring to the few pleasant times, ALL the painful ones. Then it helped me to also remember that if the first drink is NOT consumed I would not have to get sober AGAIN. That was my start.
BE WELL
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
It's never just one for me either.
I gotta do everything I can to not have that first drink. So don't go in the pub, avoid it like the plague. Pick up again with exercise and diet. Lose that weight and get your life back!
I gotta do everything I can to not have that first drink. So don't go in the pub, avoid it like the plague. Pick up again with exercise and diet. Lose that weight and get your life back!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 17
Hey Leon, let me say first that I am an alcoholic and am still actively drinking.
I am able to drink one or two drinks sometimes during the week so that I can function well the next day. My mindset is that I am not drinking to get drunk, like I normally do once a week. Sometimes I fail and get drunk, but mostly I don't. What I do is never allow myself to take the second drink until 1 1/2 hours after I start the first. And then the third not for another 1 1/2 hours. That way I never get a buzz unless I just say screw it and start chugging. These are normal 5-7% beers. Also I never smoke cigarettes like I do when I'm getting drunk.
Also another key for me is if I am having a strong craving for alcohol I won't even attempt this system b/c it is likely to fail. In those cases I just remind myself that I have the weekend to get loaded if I want. For me knowing that I can get drunk in a few days makes it easier to resist in the right now moment.
I am able to drink one or two drinks sometimes during the week so that I can function well the next day. My mindset is that I am not drinking to get drunk, like I normally do once a week. Sometimes I fail and get drunk, but mostly I don't. What I do is never allow myself to take the second drink until 1 1/2 hours after I start the first. And then the third not for another 1 1/2 hours. That way I never get a buzz unless I just say screw it and start chugging. These are normal 5-7% beers. Also I never smoke cigarettes like I do when I'm getting drunk.
Also another key for me is if I am having a strong craving for alcohol I won't even attempt this system b/c it is likely to fail. In those cases I just remind myself that I have the weekend to get loaded if I want. For me knowing that I can get drunk in a few days makes it easier to resist in the right now moment.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 17
Leon, forget this in my post: I also will not start drinking until I have been awake for about 15 hours, that way after I have two beers, I'm ready to fall asleep for the night. This method works for me approx. 75% of the time.
If this is offensive to other alcoholics out there I'm sorry but just trying to help this guy w/ what works for me so far.
If this is offensive to other alcoholics out there I'm sorry but just trying to help this guy w/ what works for me so far.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Leongecko
For those of you who are currently sober, (I am drinking today) what are some off the methods you use to avoid the first drink? For example my triggers are routines...
Either way, it gets harder and harder each time we relapse and takes a stronger program each time we return to recovery.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
I've found most useful listening to the stories of others. They help remind you how bad it is. There are some good ones posted on this site under stories of recovery. Also on youtube. Also, movies about drinking, like Leaving Las Vegas. They usually take me back and remind me. It's like I need to be reminded of that flavor of the bottom of the bottle when it's no longer making me drunk, just stinging my throat and fueling my despair. Also, trying to be helpful to others on this site. Their stories remind me of how bad it was, and engaging their stories, it's like I'm reminding myself what I need to do. It's so easy for me to be tempted by an outdoor beer garden or memories of traveling or the idea of getting a flask and walking around with it. But the reality was that even while traveling, even in those beer gardens, the joy was there, but most was just gnashing loneliness, emotions blown out of proportion. And in the end, the vast majority of time was spent just trying to get 4 days. Having a drink of water helps because sometimes I'm just thirsty. Getting a coffee or tea and relishing a nice environment, coffee shop, park, restaurant, is also a good substitute.
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